BOMBAY JEN's BLOG!

Being Real

2006-06-04T14:38:00.000-04:00

My single friend, Dave, & I were chatting about his most recent date experience. He felt absolutely no chemistry with the girl he was on the date with & he realized something interesting.

Dave said that when he is really attracted to someone, then he begins to get nervous, becomes self conscious, worried that she won't like him, concerned about being accepted, attractive, etc.

On the other hand, when he meets a gal who he isn't interested in, he is completely free to be himself, talk about anything that comes to mind, express himself in an uncensored fashion, not being at least concerned about the outcome of the meeting.

I can honestly say I have noticed a similar pattern with myself. Which makes me wonder, why are we free to be our real selves when we have no attachment to the outcome & if we have an attachment to the outcome (like wanting a relationship with the person) why do we feel the desire to try to fit into the mold of what others want; even if it means sacrificing who we are?

Of course, being real & showing all aspects of ourselves simultaneously when we are becoming acquainted with someone may not be the best avenue to take. I mean, as Dave said it, if you were selling your house, you certainly wouldn't bring people in & show them all the broken things first & then expect people to stick around to see the good things, right?

So, how do we find that balance between being real & over exposing ourselves to new people?

When I'm on the personals, reading the profiles, rarely do I find someone who says, "I am bipolar" or "I have a personality disorder" - but I have actually come across profiles that have said exactly that. Yes, these people are being real & honest, but most people would run from their profiles, unless they were mental health professionals looking for new clients.

Why does it seem easier to be 'real' with friends & not lovers? Why can we tolerate vices in our friends that drive us mad in a romantic relationship? Are we expecting more from someone else than we, ourselves, provide; or do we take whomever comes along because our standards are not high enough?

It makes sense that it takes time to get to know someone, even if we've felt we've known them for 1000 years the first moment we met. After all, getting to know someone on a deep, intimate level includes knowing about their strengths & weaknesses; good & bad experiences; joys & sorrows; and about their mental, emotional & spiritual state of being, including patterns, blockages & karmic relationships.

I think being real means having the courage & ability to be honest about yourself with someone else, regardless of the outcome. Sure, we don't always want to spill our deep, dark secrets or fears until we feel comfortable & safe enough with someone. But we don't necessarily feel the need to hide, either.

If we are hiding aspects of ourselves that are important to us, hoping that once someone knows us well enough, they will understand or accept us anyway - we aren't necessarily doing ourselves (or them) a favor. If you are totally anti-violence & the other person reenacts wars for fun, you might not want to try to convert them to your passivism just as you wouldn't necessarily want to convert to their sporting conquests.

I suppose we all hope on some level to be able to improve & better ourselves & others through influence; but it is important for us to recognize our motivation. Are we hoping someone else will change so we can be more compatible? Are we trying to change ourselves so we can be accepted? If so, we need to ask ourselves, are we really being honest with ourselves & honoring our needs & desires?

Being real means being real enough with ourselves to know when someone is better off with another person, no matter how much we may desire them. Being real means loving ourselves enough to express ourselves in a fashion that is true to our nature, whether or not it scares someone away.

So what did Dave do on his date? He didn't want to hurt the girls feelings, so he offered to exchange numbers. She said she didn't sense any chemistry & he concurred. He was off the hook because both he & his date were real with each other.

Remember to be your-real-self. Eventually, you will find that it is one of the most liberating things you can do for yourself.

For real!

Dating & The Right Fit

2006-06-01T00:00:00.000-04:00

My friend, D. & I have been talking about relationships a lot lately. We have a lot in common in this department, we are both in our 30's, metaphysical, have limited dating experience, & desire to have a deep, spiritual & physical connection with someone.

It's interesting how the same patterns keep repeating... the gals he dates think he's 'too nice' because he respects them & doesn't want to jump their bones on the first date & hence, they don't seem to sense a 'love connection'.

On the other hand, the guys I've met (mostly online since I am more of a chicken when it comes to actually meeting in physical reality) tend to think I'm too metaphysical & have unusual interests & philosophies that would prevent me from being their ideal partner for a significant relationship; yet they still want to explore my sexuality.

While reviewing & comparing our experiences, D. & I try to understand relationships, emotions, compatibility & our own strengths & weaknesses in the relationship department. We encourage & motivate each other to continue to pursue our happiness with another human being who we can be ourselves with while continuing on our paths of self improvement & spiritual evolvement.

I once heard that men need to have sex to feel love & women need to feel love to have sex. Wow, what a contradiction. Just like men are in their sexual prime in their late teens or early 20's & women in their 30's. Just exactly how does all of this make sense?

By the time a man is emotionally mature enough to fulfill a woman on a deeper level, he is usually past his 30's, when his physical performance tends to suffer & his hair is thinning. By the time a woman has embraced her sexuality & risen above society's rules & sexual taboos, she has some wrinkles, stretch marks & unperky breasts (unless they've been surgically altered).

It makes sense that wisdom comes with age & that an older person can impart much relationship wisdom to a younger counterpart, but it's usually the younger generations who are still so caught up in the physical that they don't want to consider consorting with an old(er) person.

It's like God gave us youth so we can squander it on senseless, mindless activities & then gave us wisdom so we can realize how stupid we've been wasting time in so many negative relationships because we were so caught up in the physical & mental aspects to pay attention to the emotional & spiritual components of relating to the opposite sex.

D. had a good analogy he gave to someone after they excused him from future dates, he said, "If someone gives you a gift & you never open it, you will never know what's inside." I really liked his perspective.

We are both believers in the powers of transformation & change; & that everyone has the capacity to become better human beings, so sometimes we get caught up in the "they would be perfect if only they blah blah blah..."

And then we often hold onto relationships because we hope & pray that something or someone will change or reach their full potential. But it's also important for us to recognize that the other person may be perfectly happy with their situation or their lifestyle or with the relationship's status quo.

So, ultimately, while every person is a beautiful gift from God & holds the key to an untapped well of inspiration & love, it's not so much about the gift or it's potential. What if the gift is a pair of shoes & they simply don't fit? They can be the most wonderful shoes, but if they don't fit, they don't fit.

I recently met a very nice, attractive guy who basically thinks I'm very unusual (but not too weird, as he complimented me after our 1st meeting) & has been honest enough to share that he doesn't feel we are compatible for a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship - but he was still interested in hanging out, having fun & (bingo!) having sex.

I guess the bottom line is he wants a more traditional woman & I want a more spiritual, creative man. So, we could become friends with 'benefits', but I've decided I want to be available when the 'right' man comes along - not trying to extracate myself from an illegitamate friendship.

If that person we are pining over is wonderful in so many ways, but we want them to alter themselves to suit us (or vice versa) we need to realize something important.

If the shoe fits, wear it. If it doesn't, then give it away to someone else. There is no sense in pinching your toes or cramping your style. It's not about the shape, the size or the style. It's all about the right fit.

Meeting People

2006-04-14T13:12:00.000-04:00

Why does it seem so difficult to meet new, interesting people?

And how do people meet outside of work, school or hobbies?

Seems like almost everyone is on the personals now, everyone except the interesting people I am interested in meeting...

And what about those friendship/networking sites, Fropper, MySpace, Ryze, Care2, etc.? Yes, I have 'met' some interesting folks, who I share similar interestes with, spread all across the country & world. I am not against virtual friendships, but you know, they are so 'virtual'.

What about the old fashioned aspect of spending time with another human being in real time, in real life?

A friend of mine shelled out like $1500 to join a dating club called "It's Just Lunch", then he pays for the dates, flowers, etc., another $30 - $50 each. And so far, he is still single.

Maybe we could all wear some identifying badge or something that would say, "I am shy, please introduce yourself to me" or "I'm single & looking if you are single & sexy" or "New friends wanted" or "Vacancy - apply within."

When I go to social functions, I am generally too shy to go up to people & introduce myself. And what if those interesting people I see across the room are just as shy as I am? I don't want to hold my breath hoping they will get the courage to come over.

If I do get the courage to introduce myself to someone new, just what exactly do I say? I mean, telling someone they seem interesting enough to cause a reserved person like myself to approach them uninvited would be honest - but would it be well received?

Hmmmm... We'll see once I try it out.

Heart Opening Experiences

2006-03-30T15:10:00.000-05:00

Have you ever wondered why we feel certain emotions in our heart & chest areas? This is known as the heart chakra (one of seven primary energy centers in the body). One of the greatest challenges about love, is to keep our hearts open to love, to giving & receiving unconditional love.

When we "choose" to love someone, we are giving ourselves & desiring that the love energies will be reciprocated, but this is not always the case. Have you ever noticed how animals & children seem to love joyfully, endlessly & unconditionally, but that teenagers & adults have more difficulty expressing & feeling love?

And why is it harder to love after we've been hurt or rejected by someone else - even though the current person we are interested or involved with had nothing to do with our past experiences?

It truly is a challenge to love like we've never been hurt before. When I feel those familiar feelings, those pangs in my heart chakra, it is important for me to connect with myself & try to understand what is happening on a deep level.

This is what I have learned... Love is energy, truly the most powerful energy in existence. When love energies are activated within us, our heart chakras begin to become very active. In order to send & receive love, our heart chakras need to be open, the more open & clear they are, the more love we can send & be open to receiving.

But, here is the dilema: When we experience painful love or disappointing love or unrequited love, we have a tendency to try to protect our hearts, our feelings, our egos & we begin closing, restricting, punishing our heart centers.

How many people do you know that have forsaken love, given it up, locked up their hearts & thrown away the key? Are these people happy? Are they a pleasure to spend time with? Do you feel sad or depressed when you are in their company? Does it appear to you that they have moved out of their hearts & into their minds, pretending & fooling themselves into thinking they are happy?

When we restrict the energy flowing into & out of our heart chakras,we also hold onto the painful love experiences that were stored inour hearts, because we closed the door & trapped them inside.

So in essence, we have become prisoners who are slowing beingpoisoned from the inside out by the very same people & experiences we chose to protect ourselves from. Many addictive & self destructive behaviors are triggered by the poisonous energies we have stored within ourselves.

We are actually trying to self medicate & find an outlet for the festering material wreaking havoc within us, but have inadvertantly chosen a labyrinth with no exit. Then, when someone who piques our love interest happens along, ourhearts begin to open, the energy centers in our chakras become moreactive & we begin to send (& hopefully receive) love energies.

But there is a catch: if old, stale, stagnant, negative love experiences & energies have been stored in our heart, they need tobe cleaned out to make room for fresh, vibrant, new love energies.

So whenever I begin to feel unusual or unpleasant feelings in my heart area, I find it is important & beneficial to focus on releasing any negative experiences or impressions or feelings.

Since energy follows intent, we do not have to be metaphysical or spirtual masters to clear our hearts. Here are some very simple techniques:

1. Recognize that every person, every Soul, every heart, wants to give & receive love. It is a large part of why we are here on this earth to begin with.

2. Decide to release any negative love experiences, forgive ourselves & others for these negative experiences & recognize them as opportunities for Soul growth.

3. Realize that the mind & the heart are often disconnected & are at odds with each other. When we become more centered within ourselves, our minds & hearts feel safe enough to be honest with each other, thereby assisting in their abilities to share love with somone who is beneficial for us.

Every person can benefit from opening & clearing their heart energies, even if they are in loving relationships. It is amazing that our hearts have an unlimited capacity to love & they do not like to be restricted to loving just one person.

Ultimately, one of the greatest challenges is to love everyone -our family, friends, neighbors, enemies, even. On a more advanced Soul level, I know that I love everyone & everything in existence; but to incorporate this Soul love to a physical love is something that I am just not prepared to do in this lifetime. Fortunately, more advanced Souls like Jesus have demonstrated this for us.

So, for now, I'll just focus on clearing & cleaning my heart chakra, forgiving myself & others for any unpleasant or negative love experiences. I know that by listening to my newly cleansed heart, I will be guided to postive love experiences that are better than I ever imagined would be possible in physical reality.

When I began writing this, my heart chakra was in a state of imbalance, I felt pressure on my chest, a heaviness that needed to be released & expressed. By focusing on myself & my feelings, by recognizing & releasing my fears of unrequited love & traumas of my heart; by sharing this with you, I have cleansed my heart & I feel much lighter, happier & balanced.

This is not to say that the process is complete, or will ever be complete, because as we traverse the uncharted waters we call Life, we are bound to have many more love experiences that test our hearts again & again.

Cleaning our hearts is more important than cleaning our homes, most people don't like a filthy house, so why should we be living with dirty hearts?

Now is a perfect time to do some Spring cleaning!

Indian Music, Lost in Translation

2006-03-20T15:23:00.000-05:00

Some things are lost in translation between one language &another, between one culture & another, betweeen one mind & another...

But some things need no translation because they sound so good, itdoesn't matter what the words or definitions are, because theysimply feel wonderful...

I love Indian music & listen to it more than mainstream American music. But there's one little problem...

I have no clue what is being said in an Indian song I initiallydiscover... maybe it's a blessing, because I am not judging a song by the lyrics at all, just the sound & it's effect on my feelings & emotions, & how it inspires my body to dance uninhibited & uncontrollably like a whirling dervish.

Once I am attracted to a song, I try to determine what movie it originated from, so I can then look up the translated lyrics & sometimes I am even moved to try to learn the song in Hindi (without murdering the song with my mispronunciations, eeek!)

The music also leads me to discovering & watching new movies. I have certainly progressed since I first discovered Bollywood music in the summer of 2003... I had no clue about Bollywood, but I had stopped into an Indian grocery for the 1st time & purchased some Indian music CDs & DVDs. I was in love at first play!

Not realizing that the names listed in the song credits were names of movies, not of the actual musicians, I went back to the Indian groceries asking them for songs by (what I thought were)the "musicians" names, for instance, KKKK (Khabi Kushi Khabi Gham)or Supari - not realizing the titles were the names of the movies they came from...

I got some really strange looks, until they figured out I was asking for movie titles, not actual musicians or 'KKK' musicians... They were probably thinking, "Crazy Gori!" (white girl, for those of you who don't know Hindi.)

Sometimes we enter into another culture & make total fools of ourselves in our eagerness to absorb all we can; but I have enjoyed laughing at myself & my innocent, ignorant blunders while many things have been lost in translation...

I am also trying to learn my guru's bhajans (songs of devotion, for those of you unfamiliar) sometimes singing is like torture because I feel like my mouth is full of marbles & peanut butter; that I am pronouncing everything wrong, embarrassing myself & worried that I am ruining the sacredness of the songs...

I recall the story of my caucasion American friend, Padma, who was once asked to lead a song for thousands of people attending one of our guruji's functions... Sri Swamiji began giggling as Padma sang the song & afterwards he told her that she sang a song about milking a BULL (a male cow)! After she told me that, I worried less about the specific words ofthe bhajans & I focus more on the intentions of my heart while singing them.

Every now & then, I'll fall in love with a song & I can't wait to find out what the lyrics are & the meaning behind the music that is massaging it's way into my heart… "Oh, this has got to be a really inspirational song about love," I often think.

Right now, I am in love with a song from Monsoon Wedding, Chunari Chunari… I finally looked up the lyrics & found out it is a song about a red scarf, how a woman dyed it red, how she wears it & how it affects a man who is interested in her. OK, not a typical romance song, "oh baby, I love your red scarf, your red scarf…" but how innocent, really.. I mean, if this was an American song, it just might be about a ladies red panties, red panties. I definitely like the scarf better, leaves more to the imagination...

Another time, I became attracted to a music video, Mera Kajal… I saw this lady getting ready for a date with her beloved… loved the scenes, the music, the singer's voice… I thought it was about love, romance, etc. When I called my Indian friend, Romi & asked him for the meaning of the song title, he said, "My eye mascara." "What?! A crummy commercial for eye makeup!", I thought. I was disappointed since I usually think most Indian music lyrics are very poetic & inspirational. But I still like this song by Falguni Pathak.

I often wish I could just download a language straight into my consciousness, like in the Matrix. But on the other hand, I might miss out on the comedic experiences of being lost in translation...

Self Confidence & Self Esteem

2006-03-13T13:35:00.000-05:00

I need to boost my
Self confidence & self esteem,
Which have been shaken recently,
By the death of a fantasy
I had created unbeknownst to me
Until the bubble burst
Now my heart hurts
I need to boost my
Self confidence & self esteem
I must improve myself
And replace my feelings
Of inadequacy
With confidence & security
With the knowledge
That I am still attractive
Mentally, emotionally
Spiritually & physically
I need to boost my
Self confidence & self esteem
Because I let someone
Shake my reality
I don't know why I lost my
Self confidence & self esteem
I guess I am more fragile
Than I perceived...
I have increased my
Self confidence & self esteem
I am working more diligently
At improving all aspects of me
This is how I am boosting
My self confidence & self esteem
Now I am appreciative
That I questioned
My self confidence & self esteem
Thank you for your contribution
To my inner reflection & self questioning
My self confidence & self esteem
Are improving rapidly!

Spring Has Sprung!

2006-03-08T13:12:00.000-05:00

I stood in my 2nd story
Apartment kitchen,
Looking out the window
At the grey & brown
Landscape below me.
I thought I heard
The sound of spring,
So I surveyed
The nearby trees,
The budding magnolia
Right outside my window,
Always filling me
With hope & expectancy
As her fuzzy buds swell
With anticipation of spring
Like the bosoms
Of a mother expecting.
It was a cold day,
So much for the forecast,
It was a grey Wednesday
Morning & I was mourning
The loss of sunlight,
The bliss of a kiss
From Apollo, the Sun God.
In the moment I wished
For spring to thaw
Winter's icy grip,
I thought I heard it -
Mother Nature's chorus,
Singing life into
The hibernating habitat;
I stood at my window,
Looking past the cracked pane,
Scanning the skies, the trees,
The muddy earth below me,
And then, suddenly,
I saw a hurried flutter
Of brown & black wings
Colliding past my window pane..
And then I saw the sign at last,
A male Red Breasted Robin
Landed on the branch
Of a maple tree & sang to me
The song of spring;
Now the sepia earth
Will burst forth
In yellows & greens
And the air will be filled
With the soft scents of Spring
The robins are here!
Spring in near!
The robins are here!
I exclaim, I proclaim!
Spring has sprung at last!

The Woman You Want

2006-02-28T15:30:00.000-05:00

I cannot be
The woman you want
I don’t have a domestic gene
I don’t like to cook or clean
Or do someone else’s laundry
I’ve done it for too long
For my partners & children
I’ve been a slave to marriage
I’ve been a maid for the wealthy
I love a clean, organized home
But I honestly hate to clean!
I just want to wave a magic wand
And have everything clean itself
In the blink of an eye,
And until I get that magic wand,
I would love for someone to
Clean & and do laundry for me!
I love healthy, tasty cuisine
But I honestly don’t like cooking
It is so scientific to me
Some women have
A cooking gene
In their DNA,
But not me!
I can cook only a few things
But most of the time
I’d rather eat something
Quick & easy
Just to end my hunger pains
So I don’t have to read a recipe
Or spend hours in the kitchen
Preparing food, then cleaning
I cannot be
The woman you want
I am already a parent
I never felt prepared
To have kids, & yet,
I’ve raised a daughter,
Two step sons,
Three foster children,
And a foreign exchange student
From Russia
Honestly, I’ve raised
Enough young ones
I love children,
But they are so much
Responsibility
Kids are more than
A joy or a job
But take a lifetime
Of commitment
Children always need their parents,
No matter how old they are
Now I am at a stage
Where the ‘kids’ are at an age
Where I can focus more on myself
My interests, talents & spirituality
All the things that were neglected
While I was dedicated
To raising young children
I cannot be
The woman you want
I don’t have the desire
Or need to get married
I was married twice
And I’ve learned a lot
From both marriages
But a ceremony, certificate
Or change of name
Do not create relationships
Or make them successful
Or make them last
I cannot promise to love
Honor & cherish someone
If that is not the way I feel
Promises of forever
Are rarely ever real
I would rather love
Unconditionally
Than to make promises
I might not be able
To fulfill or keep
I cannot be
The woman you want
I don’t know if I would move
To another state or country
I love to explore & travel
But I’ll be honest,
Sometimes the unknown
Worries & concerns me
Even while adventure
Beckons me
I’d love to travel,
And see the world
While I’m still young enough
But maybe I’m getting set
In my ways as I age
Do I really need
Stability if it keeps me
From expanding
Emotionally & creatively?
I know there’s no need
For me to be afraid
I don’t have to think about
The future or where I live
As long as I trust
That I am being guided
To where I’m meant to be
I cannot be
The woman you want
I’m not as strong
Or as intelligent
Or as beautiful
As you think me to be
I can take a long time
To make a decision
And then I’ll change
It like a breeze
And then you may think
I’m driving you crazy
But then I’ll make you
Go weak in the knees
And then you will know
What it means to be love crazy
And you will beg me
To drive you crazy
For eternity
I cannot be
The woman you want
I may look like a social butterfly
But I’m really not
I actually prefer staying home
It takes so much time
Getting ready to go out
And I can never figure out
What to wear, I worry
The fashion police
Will arrest me!
But fashion comes cheap
At Goodwill & the Salvation Army!
So if I go out, it has to be
Something very interesting
I don’t like idle chit chat
Or talking to someone
Who bores me to tears
I don’t like clubs
That are loud & smoky
I do like to dance
So that’s one thing
I enjoy doing out on the town
But I’d much rather
Make love to you, my dear
In the woods or by the sea
Close to nature
In the middle of the night
Serenaded by a gentle breeze
Blowing through the trees
As the moon watches over you & me
And we howl at the moon in delight!
I cannot be
The woman you want
Please don’t expect me
To entertain you
24 hours a day
I’m not afraid to be alone
I enjoy my freedom
And solitude
I need my time & space
So I may nurture my creativity
So I can write poetry
Paint & sing
I may not want or need you
As much as you do me
I am often lonely
Even when people
Surround me
Because they do not
Understand or relate to me
But then, on the other hand,
I may wake you
In the middle of the night
Because the moon is so
Beautiful & I want to share it
With you during midnight delight
I may be irresponsible
And drop everyone
And everything I am doing
Just to be with you
In the blink of an eye
Even if it means I have to fly
To be by your side
When my heart yearns
Or speaks to me,
I must pay attention
I want to experience the
Love that is meant for me
I’ve waited too many years
To ruin a beautiful
Friendship or relationship
Because of my fears
I am trying to live in the moment
Enjoying the journey
Drinking the Soma of your Soul
Looking forward to every contact
Each & every word is burned
Into my consciousness
While I become restless of waiting
To meet you
Excited yet afraid, too
That you will think me to be
Less than than your fantasy of me
That my pictures are better
Than my physical reality
So, please be gentle with me
My heart bruises easily
I don’t want to waste your time
If I’m not the woman you want
Can’t you see,

I will never lose my identity
I cannot be
The woman you want
I can only be

The woman I am

What Is Hunger?

2006-02-25T12:50:00.000-05:00

My heart bleeds
For those in need
How can I say
That I know suffering
When I have experienced
More abundance
Than those starving
Have ever known
How can I say
I know what it feels like
To be hungry
How can we ensure
Not a single Soul
Suffers from hunger?
This I do not know
I can only pray
While the tears fall
One by one
Into the food I eat
As I thank God
For the food before me
I wonder what I can do
To help a starving person eat

The Wind

2006-02-25T11:22:00.000-05:00

It's a sunny, cold day
In February
And the wind is blowing
Hard against
My bedroom window.
Sometimes I worry
That the wind
Will blow the old
Single paned window
Right out!
And then I will be
Covered in glass...
No, I try not to have
These negative thoughts,
So I redirect
My mind & energies.
And I pray!
I suppose
It is a perfect day
To fly a kite.
I think of all the power
The wind creates
And wish we could
Harness it to create
Earth friendly energy.
Or does that exist?
Is anything we do
On this Earth
Considered to be"Earth Friendly?"
Or is this what our egos
Imagine ourselves to be?
And so, the wind blows more
I wonder how pilots & birds
Manage to navigate safely
In such turbulance.
My window creaks & rattles.
I really hope
My roof stays on this time!
And yet, I love the wind,
I often wonder where it's been,
How many lives it has touched,
How many heads of hair massaged,
How many animals carressed,
I wonder how many cells float in the air,
How many bacterias & viruses live there,
I wonder what makes things
Float on air
And if we could
Color the wind,
What kind of art
Would be there?
I often wish
I was a bird
So I could fly, way up high
And feel the morning sun
Nourishing my pale white skin
As I imagine I am an
Airy Goddess
While I make love
To the Wind...

New Year, New Me

2006-01-06T11:56:00.000-05:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

This year is going to be the year of Shakti Pat (according to psychic, Paul Meidinger.)

Last year was a whirlwind of adventure & meeting new people - including my favorite star, Abhishek Bachchan - three times!

I am not the person I was last year, but a new & improved version. I guess I never want to stay the same, but am always striving for more, trying to improve myself as I am on a journey of self discovery.

My health is gradually improving as I seek out alternative treatments, healing, modalities to heal my chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia, ovarian cysts, IBS, etc. I actually have an appointment today to see how my cysts are. I hope they are gone!

And yet, I am thankful for the illnesses I have, for they have been teachers who have taught me about important things in life, who led me to seek answers within & beyond myself, who led me to alternative healing.

I have realized that tradgedies & illnesses are not as bad as we think. That pain & sickness are messages that we need to do something, need to change something, need to take better care of ourselves, improve our environments, heal from previous tradgedies, align ourselves with our Life's purpose.

While I frequently become impatient with myself & my own healing process, I am also reminded that it is important to take time for myself, to slow down, to introspect, to take one day, one person, one moment at a time.

I plan to live at least until I am 100, so I have plenty of time to pace myself. Will I look back & wish I had done more, or will I wish that I had enjoyed what I was doing as I did it?

Will this blog or my writings last forever, or will they crumble & fade with time, lost to progress, technology & within the memories of those who no longer exist? And does it really matter if I don't create a legacy for my daughter, for my potential future grandchildren?

I know it's important that I continue to write, to inspire others even when inspiration fails me, to make my mark on this earth even if the elements themselves erase or erode the messages over time.

But for now, the message is clear: Love is what matters most, love yourself, love your neighbor, love your enemy, love Mother Earth, love the Universe, love our creator.

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE! PYAR! PYAR! PYAR!

I love myself & I love that it's a new year & I love the new me!

Bombay Jen

TiTTea Party & Recipe

2005-12-06T15:50:00.000-05:00

The "Psycho Psychic" & the "Mad Cackler" cordially invite you to their first TiTTea Party!

When:

The TiTTea party will commence when you arrive. Provide us with a list of your availability dates. Bring your TiTTea ingredients (water & pot provided)

Where:

The first suitable location that we agree upon. My place is a possibility. Paul's is not. What about yours?

Who:

Only friends that we all agree should be there.

BYOT:

Bring your own tit, or someone who has consented to provide theirs to assist in the creation of TiTTea.

Recipe for TiTTea:

1. favorite tea (natural/organic)
2. favorite tit (or you can use your own)
3. favorite sweetening ingredient (natural/organic)
4. favorite magical ingredient (aphrodesiac,entheogen,etc.)
5. spring, distilled or pelvic bowl water
6. ceramic or stainless steel cooking pot (no aluminum!) Smoking varieties are also acceptable.
7. optional: organic, nut or breast milk for creaminess

TiTTea Directions:

1. combine ingredients in cooking pot
2. heat combination to boiling point that rises to edge of pot
3. reduce heat & repeat # 2 twice
4. during steps 2 & 3, squeeze your selected tit while focusing on infusing love into the tea
5. ladle TiTTea into mug
6. sip TiTTea & fondle tit simultaneously, focus on consuming & sharing pyar

* warning: don't spill the hot TiTTea

Suggestion:

TiTTea is best when consumed under the mistletoe, on a bed or in the snow

So when's the tea party?

;) The Mad Cackler

Prayers for Amitabh Bachchan!

2005-11-30T00:18:00.000-05:00

Often, I ponder the effect of our presence on this earth, in this Universe. Especially when it comes to prayer & positive, loving thoughts, energy & actions.

I am imagining our Mother Earth, as she looks from outer space: a multicolored planet floating against a black backdrop. Yet, as I take a closer look, light begins to emanate from the planet, like fireworks going off in all different directions.

These energy fireworks represent, in my visualization, the prayers that are now being said; the loving thoughts & kind actions & words that are being expressed for a very special man in India.

I shall continue to include my very own thoughts & prayers for Amitabh Bachchan & his loved ones & care givers; so that Mr. Bachchan may continue to heal as quickly & completely as possible & they may have the courage, strength & wisdom to assist Amitabh Bachchan during his time of need.

With Blessings, Light & Love,

BombayJen

The Fair Weathered Shopper

2005-11-25T15:43:00.000-05:00

The alarm went off at 3:30 am today. I stumbled across the room to turn it off. I've learned that it is too easy to turn an alarm off & then fall into a deep sleep immediately after. If I have to get up & walk across the room, then I usually stand a better chance of waking up at the desired time.

Anyway, it was cold out, it was dark out, everyone else was still sleeping. Getting up this early is crazy, I thought. Getting a cheap laptop is just not worth it, stumbling around in the freezing dark cold, waiting in lines outside of store(s) like I am desperate to spend my money. No thanks!

I decided to get up at 6 am, then call the stores to see if they still had the laptops available - Best Buy & WalMart. Then I got back into bed & fell into a cozy, warm sleep under my goosedown comforter with European flannel duvet cover.

The alarm went off at 6 am. I called the stores. They were both sold out, minutes after the sales began at 5 am. The prices at both places were $378 - $379, what a steal! Evidently everyone within a 50 mile radius thought so, too! The super WalMart in Union Township, PA, only had 14 laptops available! What a marketing ploy!

To think of all those poor people who braved the freezing cold weather, lost sleep, stood in line, only to be told they missed out! I was glad I stayed at home, but dissapointed for Amber, the intended recipient of an el cheapo laptop.

I broke the bad news to Amber & told her that we'll have to save up more money or wait for another sale; minus the marketing ploys that only hardened, experienced, dedicated semi professional shoppers can take advantage of.

"I'm sorry, Amber, I am not a hard core shopper" I said as I patted her back & gave her an apologetic look.

"Me either, Ma, I'm going back to bed" she said.

BombayJen

Happy Thanksgiving!

2005-11-24T18:46:00.000-05:00

HAPPY THANKSGIVING to YOU!

Brrr! It's a cold, white, windy Thanksgiving day here today! It sounds like the wind will blow the house in!

The bushes & trees scrape the side of the house like they are trying to get in from out of the cold. And I wonder what all the wild animals do, what they eat, how they stay warm in this frigid tundra! It's 12 degrees Farenheit, don't know how to do all that fancy scientific mathematical conversion into celsius, sorry!

I know I am blessed in so very many ways & I am truly thankful for all that I have, all that I am, everything I have learned in this journey we call LIFE.

I hope you are having a wonderful day with loved ones; a bounty of delicious food; great music & movies; lots of laughter & joy!

Stay warm!

Gobble! Gobble! Gobble!

BombayJen

Paul-isms

2005-11-22T16:51:00.000-05:00

My friend, Paul says:

"I am Some body!"

"Just show me the UFO."

"Everything I think, do or say around here is in a blog or instant message or website or something!"

"Jen is such a good writer, if I burp, she can make it sound exciting!"

"Jen is the 'love guru', if you want to know about love, just ask Jen."

"If we could harness Jen's raw talent, it would 'Jen-erate' more power than the Hoover Dam!"

:) I have a great friend, thanks, Paul!

BombayJen

Overcoming Writer's Block

2005-11-21T14:47:00.000-05:00

Well, I've had writer's block lately, so I am writing this to overcome it. I recall the wise words that I received in response to an interview question I posed to Manan Katohora. I asked him how he overcomes writer's block. He said,

"Write something else."

Sometimes, I want to write indefinately, as I am flooded with thoughts, words, feelings, etc. & would like to share them with the world. I feel like I could write about hundreds of things, but have to consider what is worth it or most important, etc. since I obviously can't write about everything.

I am a bit concerned sometimes about how others will perceive what I write, but I suppose that is par for the course while I embrace free thought, creative expression, freedom of expression, etc.

Actually, for years, no one read my blogs - not even ME! Ha ha ha! Now I write with an audience. Hmm, not bad, just different. Kinda' like going to a nudist colony!

I remind myself that it doesn't matter what others think of me, as long as I am being true to myself. If someone doesn't like me, that is okay. I don't like everyone I meet, either - but on a spiritual level, I am sure I love them, since we are all connected, related, interconnected on some level(s).

I am still at a loss about how to write about my Swamiji experiences, having written only a little & feeling a bit embarrassed at how little I've written about such an advanced Soul who has touched my life in such a profound way. Words simply fall short, perhaps this is why I don't use them.

I've been cleaning my apartment, focusing on my messy room. I'm embarrassed but fortunately, don't have many guests. I still had to finish unpacking from my trips to NYC. Still recovering from a cold. I've been sick w/ flu & cold since I returned from NY. I don't really miss it anymore!

Have I written enough now?

BombayJen

Heart to Heart with Bombay Jen

2005-11-19T02:13:00.000-05:00

Sunday, 16 October 2005
Sabira Lakhani
Desi Match Publications

When I was first handed a business card with a picture of a Caucasian lady known as Bombay Jen, I was shocked and perhaps even a bit confused.

She definitely looked American, with no hint of Indian in her and apparently she was extremely talented. It seemed as if she could do everything! This business card had instigated a burning curiosity within me.

When I sat down to speak with her, I found that this lady was fascinating. She had an unusual mindset, a kind heart, and an attractive aura. She made me comfortable and we continued our conversation even beyond words as if we had known each other for ages. I found her and her story to be intriguing and inspiring.

Name - Jennifer Susan
Nicknames- Bombay Jen, the White Indian, Jen, Jenny
Birth Location- Washington, D. C.

I understand that you have had a rough childhood. How has that affected who you are today and what you do for a living?

Well my childhood prepared me for my life mission, but the thing is I am still discovering my life mission. Spiritually I want to accomplish something and I know I need to find what I am meant to accomplish. But, I have discovered that whatever my life mission is, it would definitely involve sharing the Indian culture and bringing cross culture awareness into the western world.

I mean I have a basic ballpark idea of what I want to do, which is teaching and healing and helping other people. I simply am asking God and universe to provide to me with whatever I need to do what I need to accomplish. And I think the experiences I had in my childhood have really just been a preparation and a foundation for this.

What inspired you to do what you do today? Like being an artist, dancer, tarot card reader, etc? That’s a lot for one person.

I’m a Jane of many trades. I can do lots of things but I’m not a master at any of them. Diversity is a part of who I am. I’m following my heart and using my intuition as well as using guidance from prayer.††I am being who I am and doing what I love to do. That is my inspiration. I know it’s different than what other people do. I am me and if people accept me, that’s great. If they don’t than that’s fine too.

I have always felt drawn to Indian dance and belly dance. When I dance, I create a fusion of various cultures. I allow energy and music to flow through my body.

Regarding the Tarot cards, if someone wants me to do it, I’ll do it! I’ve read up on it thoroughly. But basically what I don’t like about tarot is that there are a lot of scary cards. My philosophy is if I want to help someone, I don’t want to scare them! They are just a tool. I have the intention to help people so I ask the universe to use me and Tarot cards as a guide to help this person.

So what kind of healer are you exactly? What do you do?

Basically I’ve recently been trained in Reiki, which is a commonly known as energy healing. I think people have a natural ability of healing. If you allow energy to flow through you to someone else, we could all be healers.

When I was younger, I remember if someone was hurt and I would have the intention that their pain would go away, it did! I used to be amazed and felt very satisfied. And I didn’t even realize it was energy healing. So now I am interested in various types of energy healing.

Where did "Bombay Jen" come from?

It was name given to me in about 1990. A friend and I were hanging out. He was the creative type and we wrote poetry together. And that one afternoon, we were sitting together and all of a sudden he just looked at me and said “Bombay Jen!”

At that time I was not involved with Indian community at all. After a few years I was looking for a penname for my collective poetry and writing and then I remembered “Bombay Jen!” It was perfect for what I looking for.

How were you first introduced to the Indian culture?

I was actually raised by hippies and my mom was single. My first memory of connecting with the Indian culture was in Washington D.C. when my mom became a Hare Krishna. I loved going to the temple and I loved sitting and meditating and chanting. The feeling of affection and worship was so amazing.

Then my mom was invited to live with an Indian family. I think they were Sikh because they wore turbans and that astounded me! I thought their culture was so awesome and I loved living with them. I loved the community feeling.

You know the women would cook and laugh and chat in the kitchen. I remember I was the one they always gave the chapaatis to, so I could put them on a plate, and that made me feel special, appreciated, and not neglected, you know. The children and elderly in the Indian community are cherished and respected, which was unlike whatever I had experienced before.

And you still haven’t visited India?

No I am waiting for the right opportunity to go. I know I’m going to go but I don’t know when! Even though I’ve read so much about India and even though I feel a connection with it, it is definitely not the same as actually being there and experiencing it.

I Like You: A Zany Video

2005-11-15T21:33:00.000-05:00

Here is a fun little video of me & my famous side kick, Paul, as we practice recording with my video camera.

Hopefully I can figure out how to add it to my blog, but just in case it doesn't work, here is the link to I Like You.

Hope you enjoy!

WARNING: Beware of barking dog!

BombayJen

Response to Letters to Celebrities

2005-11-15T16:54:00.000-05:00

Someone recently wrote to me in response to my Letters to Celebrities post. They had some interesting, thought provoking points, which caused me to clarify a few things.

Their response to my post is as follows:

I may not be a celebrity, and I may not be tall, handsome, and young, but my soul is connected to the universal consciousness, which I am aware of more than most.

My heart is one of compassion and loving-kindness, and I am conscious-aware of my relationship w all creation, and yet, you do not deem me worthy to continue our conversation, which has lapsed into nothingness.

Thus, I ask....."will the REAL Bombayjen please stand up? Please stand up! Please stand up!"

What is real is real, and what is fantasy is an illusion.

Where would you prefer to be....to be.....to be.....!!!!

Peace be w you

(identity withheld for privacy)

.........................................................................................................................................................................

My response:

This is the REAL BombayJen. If my destiny is creativity, then communicating & collaborating with creative people I admire is a very important process for me. I am definately where I want to be, on the brink of discovery.

What is the difference between a celebrity I admire & myself? Not much, other than the fact that they are doing what they want to do & I am still in the process of becoming who I am destined to become, combining my creativity with my spirituality, inspiring & motivating others, etc.

Maybe it would benefit you to have a better understanding about who the REAL BombayJen is & her connection with Abhishek Bachchan, the Indian culture, Swamiji, etc. Perhaps you may consider reading a poem I wrote, When One Door Closes for some clarity.

You tell me you want to share things with me, but then you wait for me to encourage you, almost as if you are using bait to get me to respond. If you want to share, just share. You invite me to come to spiritual discussions with your friends, but you have yet to send me details about the meetings, when, where, etc.

I honestly have many emails to respond to & I try to prioritize them based upon my connection with someone, the ability to collaborate with them, etc.

Sometimes it takes me months to respond to someone. I do not usually write to someone until I can give their email the time & attention it deserves & unless I want to, meaning that I do not respond just because someone writes to me.

I have to be motivated, inspired to write to someone. I don't expect people to write to me just because I have written to them. I want someone to write to me because they want to. This is why I respect the fact that some people never write back to me.

I've written to you because of our Swamiji connection, not because of a unique connection that I perceive between you & I. Obviously, we are all connected on some level, all connected to the Universal consciousness, but some are more aware of their connection than others.

Just because someone is not consciously aware of the same things that you & I are, does not make them less than worthy to communicate with. Maybe they are the ones who need our attention the most....

The real BombayJen has no need to stand up & part of my goal in life is to create reality from my fantasies.

Namaste,

BombayJen

Letters to Celebrities

2005-11-14T00:50:00.000-05:00

"The first time I ever wrote to a celebrity was when I was a kid in middle school. Our assignment was to write a letter to someone who we didn't already know.

I don't think it ever occurred to me at that point that people actually wrote letters to people they did not know.

But I was very excited about the project, since I selected my favorite author, Walter Farley, creator of the Black Stallion books.

So I poured my heart out about how much I loved Walter's books, how much they meant to me, how I would love to meet him some day & I thanked him for writing the Black Stallion books (which he began in High School, sooo inspiring!)

I was really looking forward to a response from Mr. Farley, imagining how the man who wrote those books I loved would actually write something personal to ME.

I had done well on the assignment, thankfully, I wasn't graded on whether or not I got a response. But the grade was no longer important to me - it was the response that was.

Maybe it was this very assignment that taught me how to write to people who I admire.

After a long while, I forgot about the letter. And then one day, I received a letter in the mail. The last name on the return address was Farley! My hands shook with excitement as I ripped open the envelope!

And then my heart sank!

It was not a letter from Walter Farley, it was a letter from his son. The letter said that his father had died & he thanked me for my kind letter.

I was shocked! How could it be that this person who I admired so much, who created a world that I loved, a stallion that I fantasized about, how was it possible that he was actually dead?!

I thought about it in great length. I knew in my heart that Walter Farley would never die. Not in my heart, not in my memories, not in his books, not ever. Walter Farley will live forever.

In high school, I forgot about writing to celebrities. Instead I wrote love letters & poems to guys I was in love with.

I usually never got any responses. I was frequently in love with someone who didn't know I existed. Maybe I was just practicing back then for the more important writing I would do as an adult.

Now I again find myself writing letters & poems; still pouring my heart out to people who I admire, celebrities like Walter Farley. Some write back. Others never do.

Perhaps it is my unabashed emotions & excitement that catch people off guard. Perhaps they don't know how to respond. Perhaps they have too many people to write to, or don't like to write. Perhaps they just think I'm whacky.

Ideally, everyone I write to would write me in return, if only to acknowledge my existence, or the heart I wore on my sleeve as I penned the words meant for them or even if it's only to tell me they think I am whacky - but hopefully not!

After school & unrequited love experiences, I took a hiatus from writing letters to those I admire. Well, actually, I practically stopped writing altogether for many years.

So, was my creativity interconnected with all those poems & letters I had written previously, dampened due to a lack of responses; or was it due to the fact I was not in a creatively conducive state of mind or environment? All of the above, methinks.

I have come to realize a few things through these writing experiences. If we are moved to write, we should. If we are inspired to share our thoughts & feelings, we should. If we are instruments to share emotions to uplift & inspire others, we should. If we don't get the responses we want or desire, should we stop writing? WE SHOULD NOT!

Writing comes not only from within us: from our hearts, Souls & emotions - but also from beyond us - from an other-worldy dimension that always appreciates what we write. The more we write, the more inspired we are to write, the more this other world encourages us to write.

If we are writing from within & without, for the sheer pleasure of sharing ourselves & other existences & dimensions with the world, we can never go wrong. Our writing will never be dependant upon a response (although they are always appreciated).

Interestingly enough, last year, some unusual things began to happen to me. Celebrities began writing to me! And not in response to personal letters I had written them, some of these creative individuals, I had never even heard of before!

And you know something funny, each time an inspiring, creative person writes to me, I am kinda' in a state of shock, then surprise, then wonder, then joy, then... Well I am still sorting all this out actually!

Sometimes, I am so nervous, excited, overjoyed, etc. that I somehow forget how to write! It is almost as if we want something, but aren't quite prepared for it when it finally comes. Or maybe I am intimidated by the person's success, accomplishements, etc. that I feel like a little nobody, as my insecurities surface & I begin wrangling my thoughts, emotions, etc.

And now I have a celebrity-letter-writing boon: I have Abhishek Bachchan's email address!

But now I have a dilema! I have NO idea what to write!

My friends are encouraging me to write to Abhishek immediately:

"Did you write to him yet?"

"No, I don't know what to say."

"Did you compose a rough draft yet?"

"No. If he doesn't write me back, then I'll feel rejected."

"Are you waiting 'til he goes back to India?"

"Ha ha ha ha ha! Maybe!"

I want to write a letter from the heart without making him feel uncomfortable, I want to write without needing a response, I want to share our commonalities & my desire to know him personally, but will such a letter fall on deaf ears or blind eyes, I wonder...

Is it worth the energy & effort if I do write, or the regret if I don't?

Many years ago, I wanted to write to Princess Diana, because I admired her so much. But I thought it would be virtually impossible to get the letter to her due to her status. If it did reach her, would it make a positive impression or impact & would she ever write back?

I allowed the potential diffidulties & my own insecurities to overrule my desire to write to Princess Diana. She died soon thereafter. Now I wish I had written that letter to her.

Despite my current celebrity letter writing dilema, I know I will never stop writing, sharing, composing. I will never stop loving the smell of print on paper or the feel of pages turning. I will never stop loving the feeling of someone writing to me, directly from their heart. Or curling up in bed with a great book. Or the joy of sharing myself with others through printed words.

And one thing is certain. Through my writing, I will never die.

I will live forever in the hearts, Souls & memories of my admirers. Hoping, knowing that my brief escapade on this earth was not wasted. And Walter Farley & I will ride the Black Stallion in the skies!

Well, I guess I need to write a letter to someone... Wish me luck!

BombayJen

Ugly, Stupid & Poor

2005-11-11T15:56:00.000-05:00

I used to be ugly, stupid & poor.

I was a welfare child with low self esteem, who struggled in school with a learning disability & was frequently ridiculed by her peers.

One day as I was riding on the bus to school, I began brushing my tangly hair, which had become wind blown by the warm breezes coming through the windows.

One girl named Melanie, who was basically a very moody & controlling upper class upperclassman declared to me & the entire bus:

"Give it up. You will always be an ugly pauper. Don't even try."

Then she turned & laughed & her followers laughed, too.

I could see pain in some of their eyes, conveying they were afraid to disagree with her but were sensitive to my embarrassment.

I hated that people could not express their unhappiness with her painful words & I couldn't comprehend Melanie's philosophy behind making someone feel horrible about themselves.

MY DAY DREAMS

My eyes dropped to the floor
I wanted to disappear
I looked out the window
And began imagining a better world,
A world where everyone loved each other,
Where there was no poverty or teasing or fear
A peacful, loving world where
I could ride my imaginary horse anywhere,
Even to school where I would
Look like a goddess
Riding on prancing Pegasus,
Surrounded by Gods & Angels
Who taught me how to forgive
So I would give everyone a ride
Upon my magic steed
And Even Melanie
Would be nice to me
My day dreams
Would release me
From reality
My day dreams
Gave me the ability
To create what I wanted
If only in my dreams
But my daydreams
Didn't last long
Before they manifested
As I predicted
Into a powerful tool
My day dreams
Are the playthings
Of my mind
Do you care to step inside
And day dream with me?

I think back to Melanie & other tormentors & realize a few things. Melanie was actually suffering, trying to obtain power & energy from me.

Most people don't really mean the mean things they say, they just don't know how to communicate effectively & honestly.

I've learned a lot of things from these & similar experiences. I also know that not everyone is really as they seem. We are all so much more than first impressions or casual interactions suggest.

A great movie that combines this knowledge with metaphysical, scientific, spiritual, psychic input is called:

"What the Bleep Do We Know?"

Anyway, for years, I had incorporated various negative beliefs about myself into my very image & personality. So I basically evolved into someone I believed I was vs. the person that I was naturally.

Once this realization sunk in, I began telling myself I was intelligent, beautiful & wealthy. Sometimes it was hard, I would look into my own eyes in the mirror & try to convince myself that I actually believe these postive statements about myself.

It was more than acting, it was believing & accepting that what I was saying was truth - when I sometimes wanted to believe it was all a lie.

Now, I can look at myself & believe in wonderful, positive aspects of myself, even though sometimes it seems all like a dream.

I used to be ugly, stupid & poor - - until I changed my mind.

BombayJen

High Heels & Thongs

2005-11-10T17:27:00.000-05:00

I pulled up to KMart to pick-up Amber from her shopping extravaganza, prompted by the allowance burning a hole in her pocket.

She happily hops in as the Salvation Army bell ringer stands in the cold jingle-jangling his bell & the young Toys for Tots lady chats on her cell phone while wearing fake reindeer antlers on her head.

"Oh, what a cute doggie!" she oozes into her phone as she smiles & Loki wags his tail at her.

"Hey, give those people some money," I say to Amber, fumbling around in the console of my Jeep for loose change.

"I already gave" she replied.

"OH, good for you, Amber!" I felt good to know Amber thought of sharing on her own.

"I got some facial products, some tank tops, some jewelry, some highheels & thongs" Amber breathed airly from her 'Mart" spending spree.

"Highheels?" I questioned, raising my left eyebrow. I know I've told Amber a hundred times that heels are bad for her back.

"They are about an inch, Mom. I kept them small since I know you don't like high heels."

"Well, they aren't healthy" I said.

"And thongs?" I queried, amused.

We laughed together. The thong debate abounded in our conversations.

They look good, they feel horrible. Who wants butt floss pinching between their legs for vanity? I don't even like flossing my teeth, now why would I want to floss my netherlands??

"What women do for beauty" I said.

"Yeah, they do it for fashion, for MEN!!" exclaims Amber, wise for her 17 years.

"I think whoever invented high heels & thongs should be - well, I shouldn't say, really. "

And what about my own convictions? Do I stick to them, trading fashion for comfort, or do I say one thing & do another?

Well, yes, I have both high heels & thongs in my wardrobe. But why? I still haven't figured it out. I'm not a very fashionable person, I admit. I see these fashion & style shows on TV & think I am so behind in the times. Sic the fashion-police on me!

Flannel pajamas & fleece sweats feel great to me, but would I prance around town in them? Maybe. You'd be surprised what I'd wear. I often find myself asking myself why I am wearing what I am. But so be it. Yet another story for another day.

I own high heels, but rarely wear them. And it's usually for a very short period of time. I don't go out much. Funny thing is, though, no matter how long I wear them, they do have a negative effect on my back, almost like it has suddenly become inbalanced. And I usually end up with a sore neck & back.

But aren't fashion & men soo important? (I guess, smile.) You never know when you might meet "Mr. Right", right?? And those heels make the legs look great, well, at least better.

I do have some thongs, I am still conducting research on them. Supposedly there is a method to this madness. Even Amber's hip grandmother is wearing them!

So I buy them real cheap to make sure I'm not investing in something I may abandon quickly. I think I found one semi-comfortable pair of thongs to wear. Maybe.

Most just pinch me endlessly, like I have a lobster in my pants. Ouch! Then I have to constantly adjust my sitting position to avoid the noid that is clamping my clam! Ouch!

Thongs are just great, aren't they?

"How many men wear thongs?" I wonder. "Or would wear thongs? "

Yes, I do believe men are much smarter when it comes to fashion vs. comfort. There are just some boundaries men won't cross.

I think it's a rare man who would wear high heels & thongs, but God bless him if he does!

BombayJen

Jenny Wren & the Angel Behind Her Shoulder

2005-11-10T15:15:00.000-05:00

Sometime during the grey, cold, wintery early spring of 2002, I decided to attend a group meditation at The Open Mind bookstore in Sewickley, Pennsylvania.

I was experiencing multiple difficulties in my life & felt that I needed to re-connect with myself, my spirituality & my metaphysical path; which I had basically negelected due to the challenges of being in an emotionally draining & spiritually unaccepting relationship over the past several years.

I needed guidance & direction in my life, hoping that I could infer some important messages from my meditation experience & connecting with other open minded, metaphysical beings in a supportive & comforting environment.

I prayed for a sign that I was on the right path in my life. But I knew if I asked for a sign, it would help me identify it if it was specific. So I asked to be shown a childhood nickname, a name that only my Mom knew me by:

"Jenny Wren"

I remember it was very cold out, that icy winter wind just whipping everything. It would have been easier & cozier to stay home instead of drive to The Open Mind that night, but somehow I managed it. I felt strongly that I must go, instead of giving in & staying home as I had frequently in the past.

I arrived in the meditation room a few minutes early, still enough time to get a comfortable seat. I walked into the warm glow of the room & noticed a pale, grey haired man with pale eyes looking at me from across the room. Or was he looking past me? Or through me?

As I sat on a soft couch, trying to keep abut 17" of personal space between me & the other 2 people I sat between, I noticed the older man looking at me. I'd look at him, he'd look at the floor. This happened repeatedly. I knew he must be shy. But why wasn't he looking at other people so much or in the same surprised way.

"Maybe he is a carpet layer or something," I thought.

The group meditation began with a guided meditation by Angel Communicator, Doreen Virtue, Ph.D. I was unfamiliar with Doreen at the time, so it was my first experience listening to her speak on tape. The meditation was beautiful & profound, it was:

"Healing with the Angels."

At one point in the meditation, we were guided to imagine our Angels giving us a gift. Instantly, I was watching the image of a luminscent, flowing, glowing Angel holding an orb of golden-white light & handing it to me as we stood on some kind of beach near a large body of water.

I remembered wondering what the light was, what it represented & what I was suppose to do with it. And then the image disappeared & I was thrust into my usual meditation visual: the black void.

Floating in inky black space was not exactly my idea of a meditating-great-time. I wanted to have more profound spiritual experiences instead of flitting around in black nothingness. I have since learned that some consider this state of meditation & visualization to be advanced since the phase of mind chatter, self talk, etc. has been transcended.

Whichever way I meditate, I realize it is beneficial for me, so I don't concern myself nowadays with the method of meditation. But that's another story.

At the conclusion of the meditation, our host shuffled some Doreen Virtue Angel cards & fanned them out so each person could select a card for additional guidance. I was unfamiliar with these cards & had never seen them before. I was excited about selecting my card & prayed for a sign that I could understand to present itself in the card I chose.

As I drew my card, I again noticed the grey haired man staring at me from across the room. But my thoughts were suddenly drawn back from across the room to the card I held in my hand.

There before my very eyes was a beautiful painting of an Angel standing before a body of water, holding a golden-white ball of light!

Then, the mysterious man from across the room approached me, as if he were suddenly filled with courage & confidence.

"Did you know there is an Angel standing behind your right shoulder?" he said.

I recall a smile radiating from me as the man, now known as my friend Paul, began to tell me about my Angel companion & protector.

Paul has since become my friend, teacher, guide, mentor, psychic, motivator, chauffer, herbalist, nutricianist, masseause, healer, & creative collaborator.

It turns out Paul & I are Soul Mates & have shared past lives together. He is usually too shy to meet many people, but he was receiving pressure & encouragement from his Angels & guides to talk to me about my Angel that night. Now we joke around about his comment being a great psychic pick-up line!

As I drove home that cold night, I thought of meeting Paul; the Angel behind my shoulder; the Angel image in my meditation; the Angel painting on the card I selected...

"Three Angel images & representations in the course of a few hours?! Surely, this must be a sign!"

Just then, a small, compact late model car driving beside me changed lanes & pulled in front of me. The car's license plate distracted me from my thoughts. It was a specialty plate. It read:

"JENYREN"

BombayJen

Lord Hanuman in New York City

2005-11-09T17:53:00.000-05:00

I was visiting New York City last month & had brought some of Sri Swamiji 's music CDs & DVDs, as well as brochures about my Guruji to share with others.

I considered part of my trip to be a mission of sorts, to spread awareness & knowledge of Sri Ganapathi Sachchidananda Swamiji; especially to the creative community, including individuals from Bollywood.

I asked for Sri Swamiji's blessings during my travels & felt as though he was assisting me every step of the way.

I didn't have any ideas or plans of how I would get Swamiji's material into the hands of the right people - open minded & receptive - since so many people in this day & age feel uncomfortable discussing spiritual or religious interests &beliefs.

I just trusted that if it was important to share the gifts, it would simply happen, naturally, casually, effortlessly. And so it did.

Most of the time, as I gave the transformational items to people, I was thoughtless & speechless, almost like standing before Sri Swamiji himself.

I was embarrased & continually wondered at my inadequacies with spoken words at these oportune moments. I wanted to be witty & charming, hoping to impress upon these people a positive image.

But are spoken words even necessary at a time like this? Perhaps it is more important for the energies to envelope us with the unconditional love we desire to share with others, without the distractions of words & thoughts.

While in New York City, I found myself unexpectedly invited to a South Asian Journalist function which was focusing on the Indo-Caribean diaspora. The journalist who was my host, was Aseem Chhabra, writer for www.rediff.com & India Abroad.

At the SAJA event, a group of "experts" on different aspects of the Indian-Caribean culture & lifestyle comprised the panel to discuss their area of expertise or specialty.

One person on the panel was a photographer named Preston Merchant,who has traveled throughtout India & other countries, studying & photographing the Indian culture & communities.

As I sat & watched Preston's photo slide show presentation, my thoughts strayed to various situations, my recent travels & adventures & why I thought I was maybe a little crazy to be traveling so far at my own expense to be a background actor in a Bollywood movie & to disperse Swamiji packages to celebrities in New York City, but happy to do so anyway...

And then I saw Lord Hanuman standing tall before my eyes! The photo slide show captured my attention & brought me back to the Indo-Caribean function. There, in Preston's Indo-Caribean slide show, was Lord Hanuman from Sri Ganapathi Sachchidananda Swamiji's ashram in Trinidad!

I strongly felt that the photo of Lord Hanuman was a sign or message that Sri Swamiji was guiding, protecting, assisting me as I had requested.

On Oct. 31st, Aseem wrote about our evening experiences after the SAJA event. Aseem even mentions Sri Swamiji in the article.

I don't know whether Aseem has listened to Sri Swamiji's music yet, but he was excited to know that Sri Swamiji was playing with Dr. Subramaniam! I know he will love it!

I don't know everything Lord Hanuman represents, but I know his energy was very much present with Sri Swamiji's during my travels in New York City.

Thank you Lord Hanuman!
Thank you Sri Swamiji!

Lalita BombayJen

Chocolate Lovers Test

2005-11-09T17:14:00.000-05:00

So you think you are a true blue chocolate lover, eh?

Well here is a little test I have for you to try - eat some unsweetened baking chocolate.

If you like it, you are a true chocolate lover.

If you don't, then you are really a sweet freak.

If you melt it & mix in a little natural sweetener like maple syrup, then you have chocolate creativity.

Yes, I am eating some unsweetened baker's chocolate as I type this.

Do I miss the creamy taste of milk chocolate? Yes.

Is baker's chocolate healthier for me? Yes.

You know, they say chocolate massages are very healthy, great for our skin, etc. Guess I need to try one of those next!

And the best part, I can lick myself clean afterwards, yum yum!

No, but seriously, I don't think I am a chocolate lover. Just an avid cacao appreciator!

BombayJen

Uncle Paul

2005-11-09T16:14:00.000-05:00

My friend, Paul, & I were driving to the gym we had recently joined. I think it's great having friends & family going to the same gym so we can all encourage & motivate each other.

So, anyway, as we are driving, I am thinking about the fact that Paul & I spend a lot of time together & go lots of places together & it is usually misunderstood (by people who do not know us) that we are a couple.

So I think about all the attractive guys at this gym & I hatch a little scenario in my playful mind & say to Paul:

"Hey, if I meet any guys, I am going to tell them you are my uncle so they won't think we are a couple, ok?"

Paul grits his teeth & says:

"If you tell them that, I will tell them about the wild incestuous sex we had last night."

I was shocked!

"I thought you didn't like lies," I said.

"Some lies are worth it," he smiled.

"UNCLE!"

You win, "Uncle Paul!"

BombayJen

Good Will Hunting

2005-11-09T15:37:00.000-05:00

Good Will Hunting is an excellent movie!

I was impressed by the fact that Matt Damon & Ben Affleck wrote the movie, then starred in it.

The movie touches upon so many depths of human emotions & experiences: loss, failure, brilliance, discovery, understanding, empathy, defiance, love, frustration, aceptance & closure.

Although the movie seemed very long, the detail in which it presented itself was inspiring. I could really relate to the feelings & emotions that the actors were expressing.

This movie is enlightening, uplifting, complex & simplistic; but the most important aspect is that it demonstrates we all have untapped abilities & power, it's just a matter of whether or not we choose to discover & employ them.

07.22.99

BombayJen

Saved by Angels

2005-11-07T14:27:00.000-05:00

As long as I can remember, I have always believed in Angels.

As a child, I loved "make believe" stories about Angels, Fairies, & other "fantasy" based themes; but was dissappointed that most people didn't actually believe that they were real.

Once when my Mom & I were traveling in our Volkswagen camper in a mountainous region, driving around twisting, turning, steep roads, she hit a slippery section of the road & began to slide out of control.

As we slid towards the sheer cliff along the road, we braced ourselves for the worst. Everything happened so fast, I can't quite recall what thoughts ran through my mind & whether I prayed or not.

I think I just closed my eyes from the terrifyingly dizzying experience of careening towards the sheer cliff, probably wondering what it might be like to die.

Suddenly, the VW came to an abrupt halt. As I opened my eyes, I expected to be dangling over the side of the mountain; however, my Mom & I were greeted with an unexpected view: we were safely in the middle of the road - facing the exact opposite direction!

Keep in mind that the road we were traveling on was a typical narrow, two lane mountaintop twister. We were in a long, Volkswagen van with a pop up camper, not a VW bug. I doubt there are any physical explanations that could solve this equation.

My Mom & I were both quite shaken by the experience. We just sat in the middle of the road, our minds boggled with this mysterious riddle. She asked me if I had seen what had happened, I said that I had closed my eyes since I was scared. She had too.

Then my Mom said, "Jenny, our guardian Angels just saved us."

I had always believed in Angels, but I knew that not all adults did. And if some grown-ups knew that a child believed in such "fantasies", they would spend an inordinate amount of time explaining that they were just pretend. So I usually kept my beliefs to myself.

"You mean there really are Angels?" I asked my Mom, surprised to find a grown up who believed in these non-imaginary friends, who I had often sensed & communicated with.

"Oh yes, I believe in Angels. They just saved our lives," my Mom affirmed.

I agreed with her. That was the only explanation that felt right to me.

We had been miraculously saved by Angels!

BombayJen

Confessions of the Financially & Numerically Challenged

2005-11-06T15:09:00.000-05:00

I'll be the first to confess that I am financially & numerically challenged.

I'm taking a break from paying bills & balancing my bank accounts, something which I loathe to do.

I've read that there is an emotional component to all this financial stuff & I can believe it!

I'm not good at math & don't remember numbers very well, so I use MS Money to balance my accounts.

I use automated online bill pay whenever possible, so I don't have to write checks or mail them; so I don't have to remember when to pay my bills since I don't even like opening my mail if it isn't a a check or a letter from a friend (which I rarely get anyway in this generation of email communications).

But even with everything so automated, I still don't like paying bills or balancing my accounts.

I'm not a very good candidate for running a business, am I?

Which is fine, since I have no desire or intention to go into business, either! Well, unless I have a partner who will take care of all the paperwork & financial aspects (or an accountant.)

When finances are tight, I am usually able to borrow small sums from the "Bank of Paul" (my best friend). But if I have to borrow from Peter to pay Paul, paying my bills is an even more traumatic experience than usual.

But what about the times that I DO have enough money to pay my bills?

I still avoid doing it because I don't like it.

But why don't I like it?

Is it because of my fear of a lack of abundance? That even though I have enough now, that I will continue to struggle financially in the future? As if this is just a"temporary bill pay success" only to be followed by overdue bills?

Is it because it brings back negative memories of disagreeing with prior partners about how things should be paid & what should be purchased?

Is it because I hate numbers & have no mathematical intelligence, but secretly wished I loved them & understood them?

Is it because I never had anyone teach me about money or accounts, no one that made it into a fun experience.

Hmmm, I do recall enjoying playing "bank" or "store" when I was a kid. I liked having fake money & spending it then. Maybe I just need some fake money, where I can spend whatever I like & the poor choices or decisions end when the "game" is over.

Is it simply because I don't think I have any financial sense, ya' know, no money saavy?

Is it because I want to be spending the money on other things besides the basic necesities - the things that I really desire vs. things that I need - the luxeries in life like: crystals, rocks, spiritual objects, classes, art supplies, travel, new clothing (vs. Goodwill or Salvation Army), home decor, ipod, music, books, etc.

Is it because I was teased as a welfare kid & told that I was a pauper & would always be one? Has this taunt permeated me & my belief system, only to haunt me forever?

Or am I just lazy & stubborn?

I guess I'm not that bad with my accounts, after all, Paul hasn't balanced his checking in like 20 years! He has no idea how much money he has in his account! He doesn't even read his statements! I tell him if he knew how much $$ he had, he could put the excess in savings & earn $ off the interest.

Somehow, I've become an expert at Paul's financial situation & not my own. Why are other people's challenges oftentimes easier to address than our own?

Is it due to the lack of the emotional component? I do feel a little better about myself since there is someone other than me who is even less involved in their own financial life, grin. Like they say, misery loves company, right?

Although, If I had a million dollars, I still wouldn't like doing this: paying bills or balancing accounts. I would hire someone to do it for me. Someone I could trust. They would have to pass a psychic evaluation first.

And of course, if I were wealthy, I would donate money to many causes. I do enjoy sharing my abundance with others, whether it is happiness, laughter, love, or money.

The only abundance I don't really share right now is the financial one, since it has yet to manifest itself into my material world. Well, I do try to tip generously & I believe in tithing as much as I can afford at the moment, even it it is pocket change. After all, it is the thought & goodwill that counts, not the actualy amount given, right?

So here's the catch: if I want to experience financial abundance, I have to believe I deserve it, I must believe that it does exist for me on the spiritual, astral & metaphysical planes so that I can attract it it to me & pull it through the ethers into my physical world. Energy follows intent & belief systems.

The Universe is the ocean of opportunities in which we fish for what we want. The bait is our purest beliefs & intentions. Our true desires become our fishing pole. Praying is the line than connects us to the Source of abundance, of all that IS. Case in point, recall the phrase: "Be careful what you wish for, it might come true."

OK, so I must believe that I am a wealthy woman with financial abundance, with the ability to share my wealth with the world, who can afford the finer luxeries in life & who has competent, trustworthy financial advisors to help me make the best monetary decisions.

And so I pray to dear Goddess Laxshmi, who specializes in abundance; to bless me with an abundance of health, happiness, creativity, spirituality, joy, laughter, loved ones, peace & finances.

Well, back to the accounts & bills. I've distracted myself long enough. I have several months of balancing to do, but a few less bills to pay. But it doesn't change the fact I have to get back to crunching numbers.

I'd much rather be crunching my abs than numbers.....

BombayJen

Playing with Gentle Giants

2005-11-05T12:53:00.000-05:00

When I was a kid, I used to visit my big sister, Penelope, when she lived in Arlington, Virginia.

There were some kids in her neighborhood who I used to play with, especially three brothers named Walter, Crawford & Asa Palmer.

I was a tomboy at the time, loved sports, running, playing basketball, soccer, etc. I was faster & stronger than most guys my age.

The Crawford brothers were different. They were very, very tall, so they had height advantages over me & much longer arms!

Even in middle/high school, I recall that Walter (the oldest) was like 6'8 or 6'9 & Crawford (the 2nd eldest) was close behind. Asa, on the other hand (sitting next to me in the photo) was much younger, but also tall for his age. I think all the Palmer brothers are all either 6'9 or 7'0 now.

The Palmer brothers were fun to hang out with & were athletic, intelligent & creative. They were from a really nice family & their parents were very tall also. I remember visiting them at home & thinking that I was a midget amidst gentle giants.

I have so many happy memories of spending time with the Palmer brothers, I enjoyed going to Walter's attick bedroom & chatting - looking out at the world like I was in the crow's nest of a ship; helping Asa deliver newspapers in the wee hours of the morning; playing board games with Crawford, he loved Dungeons & Dragons, but it was all confusing for me.

Crawford also turned me onto The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Well, he also turned me on! I remember the time he tried to kiss me in his bedroom! I was so surpised, I didn't know what to do!

I remember wanting to kiss him back, but was afraid his brothers or mother would pop into the room & I would get in trouble, thereby, risking my friendship with all three brothers. So I left - confused, excited, nervous & scared. Unfortunately, Crawford must have thought that I rejected him & our friendship was never quite the same.

Soon thereafter, Penelope moved to California, so I haven't seen the Palmer brothers since. I have thought of them from time to time over the years, recalling the happy & fun memories. I had heard several years ago that they were playing college basketball & doing very well.

I recently began thinking about my old childhood friends, especially when I went to see The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy!

I looked the Palmer brothers up online & lo & behold - it appears that they are still doing very well in their basketball endeavors! The brothers attended Ivy League colleges; it appears that Crawford even played in the 2000 Olympics & is now married & living in France. I think Walter is living in Germany, but I haven't been able to determine what Asa is doing.

I think it would be fun to re-connect with my old friends, the Gentle Giant Palmer Brothers.

I doubt I'd play hoops with them now, though!

BombayJen

Hair Cut Blues

2005-11-05T11:13:00.000-05:00

Well, I braved getting my hair cut on Thursday.

I asked for the same length, just for her to add some layers to give me more body & an updated look. Just trim the ends, nothing drastic, you know.

But what is it about hairstylists & getting scissor happy?!

Sure, I like my shorter hair overall, but it still seems shorter than I asked. This is usually the case.

I told her not to blow dry my hair towards my face & that's exactly what she did. Was it opposite day? Did I fail to communicate my desires effectively?

Why does having a hair cut have to be so traumatic?

And on top of that, I just realized yesterday that one side of my hair is about an inch shorter than the other!

So now I get to go back to the salon & have them "re-cut" my hair, grrrr!

Well, ok now, before I get my panties all in a bunch, let me try to put things into perspective...

I'ts only hair. It will grow back!

And then I think back to the two worst hair experiences that I know of.

A family member had her hair cut & colored at a fancy, upscale place in Los Angeles. I think the color was suppose to be blonde, but it came out PURPLE! No joke!

And because of the chemicals, they couldn't completely change the color for about a month!

Now this is great, because as a teen living in California, I used purple colored hair styling products on purpose. But I wasn't the VP of a major company, either!

Another friend of mine joked that it was so hot last summer that she was just going to shave her head. One day I visited her & her head was practically bald, buzzed everywhere less than 1 inch!

She told me that she had wanted to cut her hair with clippers & put the wrong attachment on, so it was much, much shorter than she had anticipated!

So, my hair isn't purple (but hey, I have actually seriously considered purple streaks!) & it isn't buzzed everywhere, so....

I guess there is no sense in having the blues. It's amazing how attached we get to things, even our hair.

Change is a good thing, most of the time!

BombayJen

Oh Great Spirit - Native American Prayer

2005-11-04T14:36:00.000-05:00

This is a beautiful prayer that I would like to share with my blog readers by Chief Yellow Lark, of the Lakota Tribe.

I, too, am of Native American descent, although my understanding is that I am of the Tuscaroran tribe/clan. I haven't done much research on my geneology, but plan to in the future.

When I was a child, I thought all Indians were the same: Native American & South Asian Indians. Maybe it was just because I was attracted to both & I still am!

I hope this prayer inspires you as much as it did me!

Thank you, Chief Yellow Lark!

Mitakuye Oyasin, (all my relations; we are all related)

BombayJen
.......................................................................................................................................................................

Oh Great Spirit,

Whose voice I hear in the winds,

And whose breath gives life to all the world, hear me!

I am small and weak, I need your strength and wisdom.

Let me walk in beauty, and make my eyes ever behold the red and purple sunset.

Make my hands respect the things you have made and my ears sharp to hear your voice.

Make me wise so that I may understand the things you have taught my people.

Let me learn the lessons you have hidden in every leaf and rock.

I seek strength, not to be greater than my brother, but to fight my greatest enemy - myself.

Make me always ready to come to you with clean hands and straight eyes.

So when life fades, as the fading sunset my spirit may come to you without shame.

Chief Yellow Lark, Lakota Tribe

The NYC Museum of Sex!

2005-11-02T14:40:00.000-05:00

I finally got a chance to go to the Museum of Sex while I was in NYC.

My side kick, Paul & I were trying to find a restaurant that we were suppose to meet a friend at, but were going in the wrong direction.

After we turned around, we both were thinking that there had to be a good reason we had gotten lost.

Then Paul says, "Hey, there's the Museum of Sex!"

So after our lunch at Udipi's, we headed off to the Museum of Sex. Our friend told us he had been wanting to go there for awhile, he was disappointed he had to go back to work.

As we approached the museum, I saw this big picture with a muscular guy in undies & asked Paul to take a pic.

But first I had to ask the two men talking in front of the display to move over so I could stand with "Mr. Underwear" for a photo shoot. They smiled & laughed & gladly moved over so they could watch the entertainment ensue.

I didn't exactly stop traffic with this pose or the subsequent ones, but needless to say, I got quite a few stares, giggles, etc. from the passersby.

The museum cost like $15.00 & you can take photos inside (but we honestly didn't want to.) I think the exhibits change on a regular basis, but somehow we must have attended the gay exhibit, because there were more photos of naked men than of women & a large feature section of gay sex.

Paul hurried me from one section to the next, standing a distance away from anything gay, anything, well, showing the nude male form.

"This is nature, this is art, why are you avoiding it?" I asked.

"I'm not gay & I'm not interested in this" Paul responded.

"Hey, I can see the beauty in the nude female form, it doesn't mean I am a lesbian, you know."

"Come over here & learn something from these men" I said to Paul.

He reluctantly shuffled over, his eyes glancing at the photos of lavish lingams for fractions of seconds between stares at the floor or ceiling.

He was really uncomfortable, I could tell! But I doubted it was anything to do with these men's sexual preferences, I thought it was more indicative of Paul's own sexual discomfort.

Next, we went upstairs to the movie room, where lo & behold, multiple "stag" films (the original name given to pornos, which began in the 1920's) were being shown.

Yes, it was a bit strange to be in a public place watching naked people going at it, with strangers walking by or stopping to view them with you.

I did get an anatomy education & I saw part of a film called "The Casting Couch" which was a spoof about a real life movie producer who would expect actresses to sleep with him.

At one point, I stopped in front of a gay flick & inadvertentaly blocked the small walkway to the next movie. As soon as Paul realized the film was of gay men, he asked me to move so he could pass by.

I giggled & said, "What's the password?"

"I'm straight" he responded.

Good answer, I couldn't torture him any longer, so we moved onto the next film. No, I don't have a gay fetish myself, but sometimes I like to learn what turns people on, why people are attracted to certain things, etc.

The museum was actually anti-climactic for both of us. Paul was bored most of the time. Probably the only man who would be bored by seeing naked women, pornos & sexual history, well maybe not.

I was getting bored, too.

The third room held contraptions & gizmos that you could strap on & ride, actual chairs with dildos, electric things that could be operated by someone watching from the internet.

Damn! When a friend of mine recently told me about automatic arse wipers in fancy oriental toilets, I was amazed. But concerned that if the electric gadget in the toilet went haywire, what would happen to your bum?

Thoughts of dildo chairs & vibrating penis robots gone wild haunted my thoughts.

"You know, the real thing is much better than anything they've designed here" I said to Paul as I encouraged him to touch the breasts of a real life sized silicon doll with humanistic respresentations & orifices.

"What is this world coming to?" I thought.

And then I recalled the time as a teenager that I had one of those body massagers that I used for yoni massages & the time that it exploded right between my legs during use.

Yes, this is the absolute truth! There were sparks flying out of the wall, out of the end of the massager. I vaugely recalled the instructions saying not to use it for an excessively long time...

This is why I no longer use battery operated or electrical equipment. I prefer the real mccoy, the polarity, energies, warmth, spirituality & sensuality of a real live human being; but when he isn't available, I refer to my sacred crystal lingam from Brazil.

Fortunately, I was safe & unscathed from my electrifying yoni massage. My hair didn't even stand on end from the electrical jolts!

Speaking of stimulation devices, the Museum of Sex also has a wide variety of toys, vibrators, books, lotions, potions, cards, etc.

All the gaming equipment you might need when you want to get your game on!!

BombayJen

In The Countryside

2005-11-02T13:35:00.000-05:00

It's another beautiful, crisp fall day in Western Pennsylvania.

I wish everyone could see the beauty that I do, it's everywhere!

The colors, the leaves, the textures, the hues, the patterns, the reds & golds & greens & blues!

They will only get bolder & brighter as the season progresses.

The sweet, crisp crunch of apples & leaves, the scent of spiced cider & seasoned leaves, the romantic chill in the air that makes you want to snuggle in front of a fire with nothing on but a smile....

Don't you wish you were in the countryside, with me?

BombayJen

Meeting Shetal Shah

2005-11-02T12:46:00.000-05:00

At the IAAC Film Festival press conference, my friend, Seema Singh-Zokarkar (Desi Match & Bharat Matrimony) motioned me & friend, Paul, over from across the room.

We walked over & she began to introduce us to Shetal Shah. The name rang a bell but the face didn't. This woman seemed familiar, but from where??

Aha! I was quickly clued in: Arya!

Wow! This was the overbearing, seductive Bitch in Arya?!

What a difference, I absolutely did not recognize her!

I told Shetal my observations & she said she was trying a new hairstyle.

But it was more than the hairstyle that made Shetal so different.

She is truly an amazing actress! She was nothing like the persona she portrayed in the movie.

When I mentioned this, she replied that it was just an act. But I contend that it was much more than that.

You see, when we act, usually our true essence is still revealed, or it is still obvious that we are actually acting in some way, shape or form.

Most people respond positively to actors not because of their acting skills alone, but because of their charismatic, magnetic, creative energies.

But somehow, Shetal Shah was combining her acting talents very strongly with her creative & spiritual energies, thereby enhancing & increasing her effect upon the audience.

Did we love Shetal in Arya because she was a bitch, or because she was a sexy goddess, or both?

Did I love her in person because she was so humble or beautiful or talented or charismatic or spiritual?

It was all of the above.

I simply loved meeting actress, poet & filmmaker, Shetal Shah!

BombayJen

A Skunk on the Run

2005-11-02T01:21:00.000-05:00

I just took my pooch, Loki, out to relieve himself before we go to bed...

But it was a quick trip outside because low & behold, there before my eyes was a skunk running in the back yard!

Recalling my previous run-ins with skunks & the caustic smells that lingered for what seemed like forever, singed my brain & suddenly memory recollected me & I picked up Loki & headed back inside to nasal safety.

Believe me, you do not want to tangle with a tango dancing skunk!

You really will need to get tomato juice in abundance & strip down in the shower & scrub yourself &/or your canine companions with the anti skunk venom!

Pure tomato juice is best, not concentrate, not V8, but the freshest squeezed juices!

Don't tangle with a skunk, or you'll end up on the run!

BombayJen

You're Famous!

2005-11-01T23:07:00.000-05:00

"You're famous!" I heard from the other end of the phone.

"I'm what?" I thought & spoke at the same time.

It was a bit eerie. I had heard this twice within a week's time, from two different people.

Is this a message or a sign? Ha! Ha! Maybe it's just a joke!

"I read your article in Desi Match in San Francisco!" my friend told me as he was vacationing in San Fran.

"I told all my friends that I know you!"

"You're famous!"

I laughed. Wow. It's not a joke. I had no idea they had Desi Match newspapers in California. How funny!

"I'm famous???"

BombayJen

Left Out

2005-11-01T18:03:00.000-05:00

Someone sent me some photos from a Halloween party they attended Friday night in NYC...

While I enjoyed the photos, I couldn't help but feel left out of the celebrations, after all, I LOVE getting dressed up in costumes & dancing - so I missed out on a double dose of excitement & fun... boo hoo!

Whenever there are casting calls for Khabhi Alvidaa Na Kehna & I cannot participate, I feel left out. Or when I am an extra on the set & I am not participating, I feel left out.

So, I've given this feeling some thought.. It's really not a matter of whether I'm partying with friends or on the set of a Bollywood film...

It's really about not doing something you wanted to. So, let me tackle this feeling so I can back to enjoying my life!

When we want to do something; participate in something; when we desire something - we begin to manifest something in our minds, hearts & souls (body-mind-spirt; mental, physical, emotional, astral, spiritual, etc.)

Since energy follows intent, we have begun to create reality; we are pulling from the ethers the very energy & intention that is the voice of our Souls singing to our creator.

But not every prayer is answered in the affirmative, sometimes there are even better plans for us, or more important lessons to be learned than from the experiences we've requested or partially manifested.

In this case, we would benefit from being open to possibilities, knowing & trusting that everything in our life is running smoothly, despite the illusions of chaos or dissapointment, rejection, depression, etc.

Did I really want to spend another day in NYC, going to a crowded party with loud music blaring so no one could talk or listen? Not really.

Did I really miss out on anything? Besides some dancing, laughing with friends, I really didn't miss out on anything except walking in cold weather, riding the subway, smelling putrid city air...

It wasn't about the party or my friends partying without me, it wasn't about being here or there, it was about the impression that I was lacking something that I wanted.

Despite the happy photos & smiles I saw in the pics, I know my friends were missing the very same things I, myself am yearning for: a deep, spiritual connection with like minded individuals having a creatively great time, laughing & dancing in an environment conducive to stimulating, scintillating conversation.

After giving this all much thought, I am no longer feeling left out. It feels great to be home, to work on my artwork, website, blogs. It feels great sleeping in bed while it rains outside, the vibrant leaves dropping like wet confetti. It is wonderful to spend time with my daughter & dog & not be rushing to & fro.

Geez, I just realized it is the other way around.

It's my NYC friends, not me, who are really left out (but what they don't know won't hurt them, will it?)

BombayJen

Horsing Around in Times Square

2005-11-01T13:16:00.000-05:00

After attending NYCIL's anniversary party at the Tonic club, my friends & I took a walk to find an Indian restaurant so we could get some nice, hot masala chai.

On the way, we passed through Times Square.

"This is it?" I asked.

"Where's the square?"

Evidently, there is no square, or at least, I wasn't aware of one. Guess there must be another reason it is called, "Times Square." It just looked like a bunch of businesses, shops, & lots of huge advertisements to me.

The highlight of my walk through Times Square was a brief encounter with my favorite animal, a horse. Not just any horse, this was a palomino Belgian draft horse. What a handsome beauty!

I wish I had some carrots or apples, but all I had were my hands to caress him. My wishes for him were that he will see some green pastures & fresh air some day soon, that he won't be surrounded by New York City traffic & chaos for the rest of his life.

I was reminded of my own sweet Saddlebred mare, who is now old enough to be trained to pull a cart & be ridden. Yes, I missed her very much.

If I didn't have the flu right now & it wasn't raining, I'd go visit her, Mi Amber Flame.

I am looking forward to riding in a horse drawn carriage!

But another day for horsing around, I suppose!

BombayJen

Stalking SRK, Abhishek & Rani - by Aseem Chhabra

2005-11-01T12:56:00.000-05:00

Thought I'd share this article with you about an exciting night in NYC, Bollywood Star Gazing.

I'll just provide the link to it on www.rediff.com until/unless I get permission to copy & post here.

Enjoy!

.............................................................................................................................................................................

Here is my response to Aseem's article:

Aseem,

You definately have a flair with words & for creating a realistic environment!

Well, I don't know if we were really stalkers, per se, but the thrill of watching, waiting, hoping that someone (particularly ABII) would walk into the bar & sit down beside us was the motivating factor here.

It was well worth the hours of waiting, for just a few mere glimpses, wasn't it?!

Sorry Preston didn't get a Preity sighting! Maybe next time!

Salaam Namaste,

BombayJen

Hello & Happy Diwali to my Blog Readers!

2005-11-01T12:03:00.000-05:00

I just wanted to take a few minutes to say "Hello" & "Happy Diwali" to my blog readers!

I would especially like to say hello to one of my most dedicated readers, who posts some really wonderful, encouraging messages, Harshi!

And of course, there is Adam Kadman, your presence is beautiful as well! Adam is related to the architect who designed the temple at the Datta Retreat Center!

The temple is truly a unique place, a vortex of healing, enlightening energies. Everyone should come to visit the temple, it welcomes all faiths & has representations of Buddha, Jesus, Mary, Native American paganism, Mata Jaya Laxshmi, Islam.. Sri Swamiji himself says that "music is my religion".

And who knows if the cast & crew & hot security of Khabhi Alvidaa Na Kehna are still reading, but if they are, I am sending warm Diwali wishes to you as well!

Blessings, Light & Love,

BombayJen

Fever

2005-10-31T19:17:00.000-05:00

I've got a fever of 100.6, what's with this - every time I go to NYC, I get sick!

Now I really want NYC to escape from me & to take this nasty New York flu with her!

I won't go into boring details about the effects it's having on me, just suffice it to say that I have been taking clay, goldenseal & finally, Tylenol (as you guessed, I try to use natural, holistic remedies - but finally had to break down & take the acetominiphen.)

Goldenseal will kill viruses, so unlike the traditional docs who want us to suffer through them, there really is a way to combat them.

Clay has been used internally & externally for thousands of years, even Ghandi loved clay. It's actually one of the ingrediants in Kaopectate, so I've read.

I hope you are feeling well, I sure wouldn't wish this on anyone!

I am torn between ripping my clothes off & running around outside in the chilled October air, or jumping into a hot shower to warm up.

Fevers, grrrrrrr.

Well, maybe it is a cleansing process or it's burning up negative Karma, like Sri Swamiji does from time to time.

Burn baby, burn!

BombayJen

A Beautiful Day!

2005-10-30T11:42:00.001-05:00

I have a friend who has one of my dig. video cam tapes, with me on it. I've asked for him to return it after a night of impromptu filming - don't get too excited here, it was a video of me eating Indian food.

When I first met my friend, he was struggling in many aspects in his life, now, he has made at least 35 commercials since meeting me (yes, I am patting myself on the back for being able to contribute to this man's transformation, although it is not yet complete.)

But when I feel good, it's because I have been able to have a positive effect on someone, maybe just a catalyst for them to light their own fires & connect with a higher vibration.

And when someone says "Thank you", I feel even better not because of the "credit" or compliment being paid to me, but because I opened myself up like a flower, I watched, I listened, I spoke & I contributed to being a part of this person's beautiful day.

Anyway, I got off track a bit. Oh well, so much for the organized blogs I've written of late. This is much more free form thought processes vs. organized paragraphs.

I listen to Kevin Wood again, it's been a long time since I was attracted to his music & even longer since I was attracted to him. Water under the bridge? Yes, I turn & look behind & in my minds eye, I see the water is flowing quickly, smooth, then ripply. His music still infuses me to rhythm, I am captured, enraptured with the smooth bow of violin, reverberating in my Soul, but it's Atman Music who reigns supreme.

I once had a colt named Superior Reign, so my thoughts turn to him at the mention of his name. A beautiful colt spotted in copper, Oh how I wish I would have kept him. I learned one day of his fate, he is suppose to be dead, though the people who bought him never informed me.

A colt named Superior Reign was the brother to my filly, Superior Debutante, who died at three weeks old, in my arms on the way to the equine hospital. The tears I shed, the sobs that shook me from head to toe, I remember her pain & felt her release. I know she is happy once again as she & Superior Reign tell me to continue to write as they dance on clouds of white.

It is through these very words that I heal those painful memories & the pleasant experiences blanket me in a cloak of love. Oh pyar hai, what can I say? Kevin Wood still plays me like a bow, oh will he ever know of the power of his music?

It's a beautiful fall day, leaves changing into a kaliedesope of colors, exploding everywhere, like fireworks on a crisp, clear autumn day! I bet they don't have this in India. I wonder if I will like all of it or if I will miss some/all/most of the U.S. - Just food for thought.

Amber, Paul, Loki & I are off to the park to take pictures of the beauty that dances there, that dances everywhere we look, before the wind shakes the leaves from the trees & leaves us with naked trees, standing stark & grey against the sky until Spring's sweet melodies awaken them with her sunlit kiss.

I think I will take my video camera to the park, damn, I'm out of blank tapes. I sure wish my friend would send me my tape so I can use the remaining tape.

(If you are reading this, you know who you are, my sweet friend, please send!:)

Have a beautiful day!

BombayJen

The Inner & Outer World of Shah Rukh Khan

2005-10-30T10:34:00.000-05:00

Watched part of The I/O World of SRK...

Very interesting so far, gives a totally different perspective of what it is like to be Shah Rukh - "King Khan" - a very humble man who is very philosophical, a very deep thinker, understood by few & loved by many (millions.)

My trusty Bollywood loving friend, Paul, said that SRK reminded him of John Lennon because he came across as very introspective.

Also recognized some familiar faces in the movie - low & behold the handsome "Ben Affleck" & "Val Kilmer" look-a-like celebrity security team were on hand! What a small world! ha! ha! ha!

They must be a very proficient security team to be working for SRK & other famous personalities on a reoccurring basis. (Yes, this is a pat on the back because I know you two are "doing your homework".)

Anyway, Paul & I enjoyed part of the movie, we'll have to finish all of it soon.

In the meantime, I am tickled pink that I recognized some faces in the Inner & Outer World of Shah Rukh Khan & that I was able to shake the hand of "King Khan"!

BombayJen

BombayJen's Personal Add on Desi Match

2005-10-29T13:56:00.000-04:00

I am a very spiritual, holistic person who loves Indian culture, creativity, spirituality, music, food, etc.

I love nature, animals (have 1 dog, 1 cat & 1 horse), reading, singing in the rain, bookstores, coffee shops, dancing, traveling, star gazing, listening to music, learning about the mysteries of the Universe.

I also write poetry, love Bollywood movies, live & breathe creativity & sometimes mingle with the Stars.

I was raised by Hippies, eat & wear organic whenever possible, live a very healthy lifestyle, work out at the gym, hike in the woods, volunteer, help those in need, do healing work, read tarot cards & communicate with Spirits & Deities.

I don't believe in any one religion, but believe in the beauty, truth, freedom & love that can be found in all of them.

I love Gandhi, Shirdi Sai Baba & am a devotee of Sri Ganapathi Sachchidananda Swamiji. I also believe in God, Angels & intelligent life forms that exist beyond our planet.

I feel it is important for my partner to share my interests, or at the very least accept & respect them, because they cannot be separated from me.

I live my life with purpose, happiness & joy, & while I strive to always improve myself & assist those close to me to do the same, I am basically satisfied with my life, since I feel strongly that I am on my life path.

I would enjoy a partner who shares my enthusiasm for life, who learns experientially, lives a healthy lifestyle & is spiritually conscious & aware.

I know the difference between wants & needs & prefer a country lifestyle, although I do enjoy visiting the city, participating in cultural events, nightlife & dancing in a few select clubs (mostly to Bollywood music!)

I guess, I am really looking for a reflection of myself, a twin flame, a Soul mate, someone who I can relate to on all possible levels: mental, emotional, spiritual, physical, etc. But I would also enjoy being with someone who knows things & has talents that I don't.

I think intelligence, confidence & creativity are very attractive & appealing.

BombayJen

Desi Match

Shah Rukh, Abhishek, Rani, & Preity in NYC - by Preston Merchant

2005-10-29T13:19:00.000-04:00

Shah Rukh, Abhishek, Rani, and Preity in NYC

"Khabhi Alvidaa Na Kehna" (KANK), Karan Johar's new film starring SRK, Abhishek Bachchan, Rani Mukerjee, and Preity Zinta has been filming in NYC for the last few weeks, with another month to go.

I met two white Bollywood groupies this past week--Bombay Jen (Artist, Dancer, Healer, Mentor, Poet, Writer, and Tarot Card Reader) and her friend Paul (Spiritual Intuitive). They had answered the casting call posted on Craig's List to be extras in the movie. Bombay Jen has been blogging about her experiences (link) and handing out her cards to everyone, including the security guards, whom she often compares to Val Kilmer and Ben Affleck-- so everyone on the set is reading her blog.

Anway, we staked out the bar in the lobby at the ********. I was hoping to get to see Preity, but she didn't turn up. Shah Rukh did, though, heading out with his kids, a couple of ayahs, and a guard or two. When he came downstairs, I rushed out to the street and pretended to talk on my cell phone. He came out soon thereafter and flashed his Shah Rukh smile. He's smaller than I expected--not just shorter but smaller. They all disappeared into the rainy night.

Abhishek came in and out a few times with an entourage of girls (no surprise). He's quite tall. Didn't get a Rani or Preity sighting, though I have it on good authority that Preity is staying on the 2*th floor. Next time!

Anyway, you can have a martini and sushi in the lobby bar while waiting for the stars to pass through. A short director of security will come stand in the middle of the lobby, looking official--with that sign you know someone is minutes away. There's also a little coffee shop on the Lexington side, which opens to the street. You might find Abhishek and his groupies hanging out there, too.

Maybe an IndiaMike NYC Bollywood meetup at the ******** (hotel) is in order!

- Preston Merchant

Preston Merchant's posting on IndiaMike.com

__________________
When in the Rome, do the Romans.
--from "Salaam / Namaste"

Escape from New York City

2005-10-28T14:25:00.000-04:00

It feels great to be home in Pennsylvania again!

New York City is growing on me, though it's still more like a parasite, it drains more of my energy than it gives in return.

Yet, I am amazed at NYC's vibrancy, particularly at night, with all the lights glowing, it actually looks pretty. There is always something to do, somewhere to go, people to meet (& watch) fashion to observe, stores to visit, museums & galleries to absorb, & lots of Indian food to eat (unlike Pennsylvania where I have to drive 1 hour to eat at an Indian restaurant.)

The traffic never dies, the New York streets are like veins, the autos the blood cells coursing through the city, & traffic jams being clogged arteries that cause heart attacks (& road rage punctuated by blowing horns, despite the signs that warn of $350 tickets to horn blowers!) NYC motorists are aggressive as hell, driving there is not for the meek & mild (me & Paul - although he is improving somewhat, I still have no desire to attempt it myself.)

On the other hand, New York pedestrains are patient, waiting at traffic lights, waiting for the subway train to arrive, waiting for the rain to stop... They are very physically active, walking everywhere at a brisk pace - my feet still ache from all the walking! Now I need to go to the gym so I can stay in shape from my New York marathon escapade!

Yes, it is wonderful to be home, but could it be that I am beginning to miss New York City? It's definately not the trash, the polluted air or acrid subway oxygen; it's not the beggars who empty my pockets or make me feel ashamed when I simply pray for them; it's not the crowds who make me feel claustraphobic; it's not the celebrities who make me feel like just another fan; it's not the continuous sound of traffic grinding it's way into my dreams; it's not the stressed, exhuasted looks on the faces of the weary workers; or the money hungry business people.

So what is it about New York that continues to haunt me, even when I've escaped from her grips? It's the people I've met & connected with who I miss; it's the opportunities that present themselves; the multitude of cultures & creativity; the freedom NYC represents; the diversity of people & places; the overall acceptance. Everyone & everything is different, yet it's all the same. Yes, New York does represent the American Dream - & not just to foreigners or immigrants, it is the same for me.

I've escaped from New York City, but the city won't escape from me.

Sharing Sri Swamiji with Bollywood

2005-10-27T12:03:00.000-04:00

Like most devotees, I love sharing information about Sri Swamiji with other people with the hopes of improving their lives by expanding awareness of Sri Swamiji & his love, teachings, healing music & humanitarian missions.

I consider myself to be very fortunate to have been able to recently share my Guruji with the Bollywood community.

On Sunday, October 23rd, while I was on the set of Karan Johar's new movie: Khabhi Alvidaa Na Kehna, I handed Sri Swamiji CDs, DVDs & brochures to choreographer/director: Farah Khan; actor: Abhishek Bachchan; & actor/producer: Shah Rukh Khan.

I have since given Sri Swamiji's CDs & DVDs to the Chief Operating Officer of Desi Match & Bharat Matrimonials; a freelance writer for India Abroad & Rediff; a filmmaker who works for Bollywood Hollywood Production; a dance choreographer & the filmmaker grandson of filmmaker N.N. Sippy.

Whether they become members of the Datta Family or not, I know their lives have been blessed by the awareness of Sri Swamiji, listening to his music & watching him in concert & during Agni Pujas.

Jaya Guru Datta!

"Lalita" BombayJen

KANK: An Emotional Roller Coaster

2005-10-24T21:59:00.000-04:00

I was on the set of KANK on Sunday, October 23rd. Overall, it was a long day which consisted of waiting, talking to other extras, doing tarot readings, observing the set & riding an emotional roller coaster.

I have come to the realization that making movies is extremely HARD work. There are hundreds of people involved, continuously, on the set & behind the scenes. Many people on the set appear to be sleep deprived & very stressed. Again, I found myself wanting to help them, but no one seemed interested.

The hours are extremely long, the shots numerous & repeated, cameras have to be adjusted, moved; lighting has to be tweaked, reflected, foiled; makeup has to be applied, reapplied; hair has to be primped, fluffed & adjusted; actors repeat lines, motions & movements until perfect; extras are instructed what to do & how to do it on the fly; crew members coordinate & communicate via radios; people rush around trying to be efficient despite unexpected delays; food has to be prepared; wardrobe has to be selected, ironed, altered; music is played; action, cut, action, cut, action ... it's a wrap!

For some reason or another, I somehow ended up getting some negative feedback from some crew members who told me they didn't like my blog & that it wasn't very nice - I disagreed.

But perhaps they are sensitive to critcism, or only read one entry or perhaps they didn't comprehend my perspective as a movie extra newbie, or perhaps I have no real concept of what is actually involved in the making of a movie - after all, I realize that trying to coordinate hundreds of people per set is a herculean task, especially when it comes to a shortage of extras, inclement weather & uncontrollable or unpredicted circumstances.

There are also so many variables invovled in my experiences & perceptions & while I don't like to upset or offend anyone, I realize that if I am to share myself in an uncensored fashion, it is impossible to sing everyone's praises 100% of the time. I can't even do that for myself.

I did see Abhishek as he passed through the extra holding area & while I didn't want to bother him, I felt moved to give him some CDs & DVDs of my guru, Sri Ganapathi Sachchidananda Swamiji. He humbly accepted my gifts for him & his family.

I felt very nervous & while it would be easy to think of myself simply as a fan, I realize that the motivations to travel so far to see Abhi are divinely motivated. After all, he is attractive, but simple attraction would not motivate me to travel hundreds of miles & spend hundreds of dollars for a miniscule chance to have a mere few seconds of interactions with this human being.

Believe it or not, I have a Soul connection with this actor, but considering his fame & family background, I can understand that he may consider me simply as a persistant admirer (or crazed fan.) Perhaps I will never establish a friendship or connection with this person, but at the very least I feel I have made a positive step towards facilitating his awareness of the healing properties of Sri Swamiji's music.

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. You can want to help someone, but if they don't recognize your intent or desire or the benefit of the interactions - well, you are simply wasting your time. My time is too precious to waste, so I consider "Mission Abhishek" to be complete at this juncture in time.

During the arduous wait in the holding area, I was able to watch SRK, Rani & Preity pass through from time to time, which I always enjoyed. Their presence is much to behold, the magnetic energy emanating from these highly experienced actors attracting everyone's attention like moth to flame. The whole room could be talking animatedly but then one of them would pass through & all eyes would lock on & follow their motion, conversations would cease or be lowered to hushes.

One extra who was Hispanic & unfamiliar with Bollywood talked about his observations of Shah Ruk Khan, calling him the "big shot actor" & mispronouncing his name as, "Chaka Khan" which resulted in peals of laughter from me & other extras.

After preparing to be in a shoot after waiting about 8 long hours, I was thrilled to be sitting at a prime location next to the table where Rani & Abhishek would be sitting. At the last moment, the girl & I sitting at the table together were told to move so the lighting could be adjusted.

While we were waiting, some new extras arrived & were ushered to our table. We tried to explain that we had been waiting for the lighting, but the crew told us they didn't need us. It was terribly disapointing. I was surprised at the depth of my emotions.

Maybe I was jealous that Paul was still in the scene & I was missing out on the action. After all, I was the motivating force behind the trip & he never had any desire to be an extra, he kept saying he didn't care if he did it or not, that he was going just for me.

It wasn't a matter of just wanting to be in the movie, because that alone was not sufficient motivation for me to travel so far, to be so patient, to spend so much money & energy - just to be some background scenery. It was more important for me to observe some of my favorite actors (& perhaps meet them & help them). After all, how often is it that these actors from India are actually filming in the US, on the same soil that I myself am standing on? Not very often.

So I waited in the holding area, doing mudras, trying to think positively & transmuting my dissappointment into a positive learning experience (but not having much success) distracting myself by commiserating with other extras & doing more card readings. I started to feel a little better, then the cast & crew took a break & Paul returned to holding with the other extras & expressed his dissapointment about my lack of involvement in the scene, which only promted my eyes to water.

I went to the bathroom because my emotions were too transparent, I wanted to compose myself. I kept telling myself that I shouldn't be so dissappointed, that it wasn't that important, that I would have more opportunities, that - well, I was telling myself a lot of things but I guess I wasn't listening or it wasn't registering.

My eyes were tearfilled, as as they overflowed my lower lids, I took some deep gulps of air in the marble tiled bathroom, dabbing my tears with fancy napkins with the restaurant's emblem printed on them.

"Silly girl," I admonished myself.

"Stop being so immature," I instructed my inner child.

Suddenly, someone walked out of one of the stalls, but I didn't want to make eye contact since I was embarrassed by my emotions. I quickly turned & beat a hasty retreat to the door & caught a quick glance at the person washing their hands at the sink. It was a man!

I was in a state of complete surprise, so much that it literally dried my eyes. Hmm.. it must be a mistake I thought. As I stood outside of the women's bathroom & composed myself as my tears turned into giggles, I heard a beautiful voice humming, which sounded like a goddess. I looked up to see none other than Rani herself, looking like a devi in a multicolored, sequined sari, with her assistant escorting her to the restroom.

I wanted to say Hello, wanted to tell her how much I admire her, etc. but considering my emotional fragility & concern about crossing celebrity's boundaries, I decided to keep my mouth shut.

But then I realized, I better warn Rani about the man inside, I didn't want her to be startled, or even worse, I didn't want her to think I was having some kind of kinky experience with the man in the ladies room... so I said,

"There's a man in the bathroom!"

"A man?" Rani replied.

I nodded.

She & her friend looked at each other, eyes wide & eyebrows raised - then Rani boldly pushed the door open & came face to face with a tall man in a long, black woolen coat. She was dwarfed by his 6 feet or so, but her aura was giant in comparison & I could tell he felt very intimidated by her presence.

"This is the ladies room" Rani said very matter of factly.

He muttered something with a French accent about not being able to find the man's room & being confused & he rushed out like a dog with his tail between his legs.

Who knows, maybe in France, the bathrooms are interchangeable.

Then I went outside to get some fresh air with Paul in tow, feeling very, very sorry for me as he empathed my emotions.

"I don't want to be an extra anymore" he said.

"I can't handle all these emotions & I don't want you to get upset with me if I am an extra & you aren't," he lamented.

I told him that I was just upset that I wasn't an extra, that I couldn't get to observe the set, didn't get to see Abhishek entertaining everyone with his playful antics, I wasn't upset with HIM, I was just upset, that was all.

We stepped outside to come face to face with security. The Ben Affleck security had warmed to me & Paul earlier in the day when he informed me that he was reading my blog as "Homework" & shook Paul's hand in a friendly manner; & he greeted us & asked Paul if he was the "Famous Paul." He seemed to be aware of & sensitive to our emotional stress, as his energy reached out to us in a considerate & supportive manner. His energies were sincerely appreciated by us during the time of our vulnerabilities.

Another primary security specialist, who I will now refer to as "Iceman" - since he reminds me of a taller version of sexy Val Kilmer from Top Gun, especially when he wears his reflective aviator glasses - said, "You're BombayJen?!"

"Uh oh", I thought. Another person who is perturbed by my blog. I shielded my eyes with my hand since I felt the tears returning & responded in the affirmative.

"You're famous!" he said.

"When are you going to write about me??"

His enthusiasm caught me unprepared & I was too self conscious & emotional to respond, so I walked away to collect myself. Later, I realized that despite his protective guard energies, which are necessary for his line of work, despite his muscular build & intimidating presence, he, too, like "Ben Affleck" was a caring human being with a very playful quality.

Extras & crew were standing around chit chatting while I juggled with my emotions again. Fans stood across the street, taking pictures, holding signs for the actors, professing their feelings for them, excitement abounded, but I was riding an emotional roller coaster & was at the bottom, with my stomach in my throat.

I kept thinking I was foolishly crazy to be there, how being a fan & an extra didn't necessarily complement each other, how I shouldn't have expetactions so I wouldn't have disappointment, how I never should have given people my card so they wouldn't have read my blog & be upset with me, blah blah blah.. Self doubt & criticisms abounded.

The emotions swirled as I imagined what my life would be like if I had never even gotten involved in KANK, if I had just stayed home in the country, had avoided opening myself up to people through my blog & become emotionally vulnerable.

I thought about how I would just like to leave, but I honestly couldn't since I was dependant upon my trusty side kick to help me navigate the montrous city & he had to return to the set for the continuation of the shoot.

Next the filming began again & I was ushered downstairs to holding yet again. I forced myself to think more positively, I prayed for guidance & for positive lessons to be learned from the experiences.

My phone rang, it was Paul.

"They need 9 more extras, make sure you come upstairs!"

Next thing I knew, I was ushered upstairs with ecstatic extras, suddenly smiles were beaming everwhere I looked. We were seated at tables & the action began after we had waited patiently all day for opportunities to be in a scene.

Then I somehow managed to find myself sitting with two comedians who made faces, giggled & cracked hilarious comments continuously as we sat at the farthest table in the room. Combined with my excitement, nervousness & high propensity to laugh, it was an explosive combination of characters & ingrediants.

Add to this scenario that we had a waiter who was serving us with hors devors of stinky tuna melts that had been fermenting all day, that we almost gagged each time he visited the table & that he dropped tuna bombs on us repeatedly - resulting in uncontrollable giggling while our noses ran & our tears flowed copiously - it is no surprise that one member of the crew who had previously expressed his disappointment at my blog kept givine me stern looks & ssshhhhussshhhing me (like I was the only one invovled..)

I wondered if they would ever want me on the set again. I sure seemed to be getting a lot of attention that day, but it wasn't exactly the kind of attention I wanted. A friend of mine recently told me that there is no such thing as bad publicity, which I suppose I can understand.

But I honestly am sensitive to criticism, even though I shouldn't be. After all - all forms of critisicm can become positive if it helps us to improve ourselves, to reach higher & farther than we have before, if it encourages us to evaluate ourselves, our actions & intentions so we become a better person. I have recovered from the critisism & am a better person through my experiences with KANK.

After riding an emotional roller coaster as an extra, Paul & I packed our things & prepared to depart the set at the end of the day's filming.

Something told me to have a packet of Sri Swamiji's music handy, just in case we passed Shah Ruk Khan on the way out (even though I had no idea where he was, or if he was still there or not.)

As we exited the doors to the building, I saw SRK & after summoning the courage to say hello, I managed to give him the gift of my guru's CDs & DVDs as Paul & I tried to explain briefly what they were. Shah Rukh Khan shook our hands & we were engulfed by his humility, creative energies & sincerity.

At that moment, my day was complete & completely satisfying. Meeting Farah Khan a few moments later was the icing on the cake.

Paul commented later about Shah Ruk's kindly energy & said it was the high point of his experiences with KANK.

Who says roller coasters can't be fun?

BombayJen

Desi Match News: Heart to Heart w/ Bombay Jen

2005-10-23T22:05:00.000-04:00

Lost in NYC After KANK Shoot

2005-10-23T20:18:00.000-04:00

Lost in New York

2005-10-22T23:01:00.000-04:00

KANK Prep

2005-10-22T11:13:00.000-04:00

KANK: Something Happened

2005-10-22T02:21:00.000-04:00

Just when I thought I was happy to be home in Pennsylvania - living a mundane life, recovering from my trip to NYC, doing laundry, unpacking at a snail's pace, breathing fresh country air, writing about my KANK experiences, catching up with friends & emails, spending time with my daughter, playing with my dog & planning on visiting my horse after recovering from an intestinal virus of some sort... something happened.

I had talked with Paul & friends about my short brush with Bollywood, how being a fan is exhausting (especially after traveling 800 miles round trip) & how extras are really not very noticable at all.

We talked about how it was so expensive for me to be an extra, like I had actually paid to be in the movie & how I wouldn't possibly be able to accept all the extras opportunities that might present themselves for this film - I couldn't afford to financially or energetically.

I felt I was at peace, but then something happened. I winced when I saw another KANK casting call posted for more extras. I accepted that I was where I was & New York City wasn't exactly a hop, skip & a jump away.

Many people had recently suggested that I live closer to NYC if I really wanted to pursue acting. The truth is, I don't really know if I do. I don't want to waste time & energy on something that I won't be very good at, or won't have ample opportunities to utilize.

And I am certainly not prepared to move somewhere significantly more expensive, disrupt my daughter's education, move away from my best friend & trade country life for the concrete jungle, not unless it was worth it - & so far, it's not.

It was Thursday at 5:15 pm & I was posting my KANK experiences online. And then something happened. The phone rang. It was the casting agency. They wanted to know if I was available for Friday, Sunday & Tuesday shoots. I explained Friday was not possible due to the distance I had to travel.

"Shall I keep you on the list for Sunday & Tuesday?" the young lady asked brightly.

"Is this a test?" I thought. "Well, I can always say yes, then change the plans if I need to..."

"Yes" I said.

If it was a test, I failed miserably. I simply couldn't say no. Now I had a dilema. How would I get there, who could I get to travel with me, help me drive, share expenses? Who?

I couldn't possibly ask my best friend, Paul, after all, he had already gone on the last trip, lost wages, panicked driving in New York City... he had been a real trooper.

The phone rang again, it was Paul.

"What's new?" he said.

"Theyyyy calledddd meeee" I whined.

"Who?"

"The casting agency."

"For when?" he asked.

"Sunday & Tuesday." I replied.

"Let me call you back" he said.

I figured he was trying to escape, but something in the tone of his voice gave me hope.

The phone rang. It was Paul calling to say he would go with me!

So now I am writing this between loads of laundry & packing. I don't have insomnia, I am simply sleep deprived, but I can sleep for seven or eight hours later today on the way to the Big Apple!

Just when I thought my involvement with KANK had come to an end..... something happened!

BombayJen

KANK Experiences Part IV

2005-10-20T15:56:00.000-04:00

Continued from KANK Experiences Part III

Anyway, back to day 2: I often had to do a reality check, was I really standing on the set of a major Bollywood film with my favorite actors in it, or was this just a dream?!

Yet, I was still hoping, praying, waiting that my 800 mile round trip trek to be on the set would not end without seeing the man that prompted me to come: ABHISHEK.

There was traffic - taxicabs cruised past & when the Indian drivers would notice the filming, they would return again & again, radioing more friends to come see the filming, wide smiles plastered on their faces. Delivery trucks pulled up into the scene & had to be asked to leave, while drivers pulled into the vacant parking spaces on the set, only to be disappointed they couldn't park there.

Pedestrians walked cluelessly onto the set during filming, chatting with their friends, ipods & cell phones pressed against their ears, walking dogs, carrying packages - despite the caution tape, traffic cones & security.

Fans rushed the set throughout the day, with more &amp; more arriving hour by hour; walking onto it trying to get photos & autographs, even during filming. They would be directed to move to other areas not in the scenes & almost as soon as the film guards would turn their backs, the group of fans would crowd back onto the set, 'safety in numbers' being their motto.

I watched Paul across the street, waiting with other extras, talking. He seemed calm & collected, which surprised me since he usually panics in NY & in social situations. But I could see he was talking animatedly to someone, he was obviously giving them some psychic advice, which always makes him pleased.

I looked for Rani's personal guard, hoping that I wouldn't come into contact with him. I didn't want to get chewed out again, especially since he was so attractive. It's always easier to be yelled at by a jerk because then you can justify their outburst & still feel good about yourself.

I certainly couldn't blame the guy for the misuderstanding we had previously. I thought back & realized that all the external evidence of the previous shoots did point to security violations on my behalf.

I also had a greater appreciation for the difficulty of his job. I am certain he realizes I would never have intentionally done anything wrong, why spend all that money & time driving to the set only to cause problems? But I suppose there are people in the world who do those sorts of things. Hopefully, he realizes I am not one of them.

Before I was admonished by Rani's bouncer, I had actually stood in the rain on Tuesday & was invited to join him under an umbrella, with another guy who had one of the most beautiful, broad smiles & pearly white teeth I have ever seen.

It was quite cozy, yet I remained at the edge of the umbrella, water dripping down my back until the cute security guard invited me to "Come closer, maam." Which I gladly did. Whether it was the joy of being out of the cold rain or the pleasure of the company I kept, I won't say. Well, OK, actually it was both.

He couldn't be that bad, I thought. He was just trying to do his job. If he was a nasty guy, he wouldn't have been so considerate in the rain, sharing his umbrella with a strange woman.

My thoughts were interrupted by Paul's phone call:

"Hey, that security guy wants to talk to you."

"Oh shit!" I squealed.

"Why does he want to talk to me, so he can scare me some more?"

I looked across the street & saw the guard - he was standing about 6' 2, tall amidst the shorter Indians, wearing a blue weave shirt, baggy faded blue jeans, & construction boots. Intimidating yet considerate, defensive yet welcoming, he somehow reminded me of Ben Affleck, while images of his inner child danced in my inner eye.

He reminded me of a playful boy in a man's body, much like Abhishek. I was attracted yet repelled at the same time. I was still worried about getting bounced off the set.

Michaelle was chatting as my mind was distractedly digesting Paul's phone call. She talked about her karate class; asked about the movie stars who she had never even heard of; talked about her Indian neighborhood & how the Indians there party more than black people; how their music blares constantly & she can't even sleep; how she should go to the Indian store & research Bollywood; she suggested taking pictures, changing locations for a better vantage point & trying to get into some of the scenes....

I said, "I'm not doing anything that will jeapardize my participation, I'm staying right here until I'm told what to do ."

I briefly explained the prior confusion with security, how there are many unwritten/unspoken rules for the extras & how I just learned that Rani's personal security wanted a chat with me, ulp.

Next thing I realized, Rani walks right past me into the shop behind me as I am explaining these things to Michaelle.

"Uh Oh," I thought. The Ben Affleck Bouncer has to be nearby - - & he was. I didn't even have time to warn Michaelle to be on bouncer guard. I looked at the ground, not even wanting to make eye contact lest I raise his hackles. Then he passed by & entered the store with Rani.

"Phew" he's gone, I thought.

"OK, keep yourself occupied so when he returns, I won't be expected to engage in dialog," I prompted myself.

So I started chit chatting nervously with Michaelle, trying to project being cool & collected, but thinking, knowing that I was failing miserably.

"B-o-m-b-a-y-J-e-n" I heard a voice state sarcastically & looked up to see the intimidating security standing in front of the store window. "Oh damn, he didn't stay inside with Rani," I thought.

"How are you today?" he said, again, I felt like he was toying with me, or was he rubbing salt into my wounds, hmm..

"Good, thanks," I tried to project cheerfulness to masque my nervousness.

"How are you?" I managed to squeak in return.

"Good. So do I need to be worried about you today?" He replied.

"NO SIR!" I exclaimed with sincerity. He smiled a mischevious smile. Yes, he was definately playing with me.

"Good." Then he paused.

"I read your blog" A playful smile displayed on his lips. I looked at the ground, waiting, wondering how he had perceived what I had written, if he was offended or amused or placated.

"Nice," he said.

- To Be Continued -

KANK Experiences Part III

2005-10-20T14:37:00.000-04:00

Continued from KANK Experiences Part II

Despite Paul's intense panic, I somehow managed to remain calm & collected, which was quite unusual under the circumstances. By 9 am, we were out the door & on the way to the set. I intuitively knew if I got upset, I would just send him into an emotional tailspin & the last think I needed was for him to crash & burn. After all, I needed his help navigating the subway & getting to the set.

Thankfully, the weather had improved & it wasn't raining. The sun actually shined a little & her warmth cheered me up. I prayed that I could still be in the filming despite my tardiness, prayed that I was not the only person late, prayed that everything would go smoothly & that my interactions with the 'Celebrity Swat Team' would be positive.

Oh yea, I also prayed that Abhishek would be there & that I would get to meet him again. My trusty side kick, Paul & I braved the subway - the noise, stench, filth & fumes that burned the interior of my nostrils & trotted briskly to the holding area with positive thoughts & intentions fueling me on the way.

Fortunately, we were not the only ones who were late, two other people arrived at the same precise moment that we did. One woman, Michaelle, even traveled from the same place Paul & I did: Queens - which means she must have been on the same train as us!

After signing in at holding & using the restroom, we dashed off to the set, jubilant yet again! I hadn't had time to eat or drink that hectic morning, which was actually a good thing, since I didn't want to need to use the bathroom (which is sometimes non-existant or difficult to locate on the sets.)

Another exciting day of being an extra commenced. Again, there was confusion, it was difficult to hear the instructions, there were no megaphones being used to shout directions like they are usually shown in the movies; sometimes the Indian accents were difficult to understand.

Extras stood around waiting for their turns to be selected & used in the scenes, for long, tedious, foot aching hours. One lady wore stilleto heels & was in excrutiating pain, she even foregoed a scene later in the day & let me be in it since she couldn't walk anymore.

I stood patiently against a wall most of the time, praying, thinking positively, alternating my sore feet, watching, observing the set with avid interest while my new friend, Michaelle, sat on a gas meter. She offered for me to sit down, but I was concerned that if I did, I might ruin the borrowed suit I wore.

Many extras complained throughout the day: of being tired, not getting paid enough, waiting around, about their bladders about to burst, not getting into enough scenes, about the disorganization, not being able to understand the directions, being confused, etc. etc.

Sure, I had some of the same concerns, but they were not significant enough to bother me, I was always happy to be on the set even if I had to be patient. I enjoyed watching magnetic Shah Rukh run his fingers through his hair & primping in the mirror. I was awed by Preity's prescence, plump lips & dazzling dimples. I appreciated Rani's classic energy, like a screen goddess from a 50's movie.

I was entertained & amused by everything. I was the extra who went the "extra" (400) miles to be involved with this film & I wasn't about to let anyone or anything rain on my parade (that already happened on the first day of filming when I made "extra" beginner's mistakes.)

Despite my prior blunders on the previous Tuesday, I had still managed to enjoy myself immensely, despite the cold rain, confusion & brush with bouncers. There was the time I got to be in a rain scene, walking down stairs in the background behind beautiful Rani.

And the time on the waterfront where I was paired with a hilarious young guy under an umbrella in a rain scene in the background behind Rani & SRK. The guy was white & totally clueless about Bollywood.

"So these guys are big shots in India?" he asked.

"Yes, the biggest, all except the couple who are not here yet (Amitabh & Abhishek) & 1 woman named Aishwarya who is not in this film" I answered. (Well, at least that was my opinion anyway.)

He had seen the tv show called EXTRAS & noticed the casting call posted on Craig's list www.craigslist.com that morning & decided on a whim that it might be fun to be an extra.

He complained continuously & I quickly told him to shut up & appreciate his experience since I had driven 400 miles to be there, without even realizing I might get paid for it. He was unduly impressed.

Prior to the rain scene, were were just told to be a couple talking about marriage or something & given a large umbrella to stand under. Then the rain machines started & the large umbrella was replaced with a smaller umbrella.

Our proximity to each other increased, all the while he cracked me up with hilarious comments which I can't even recall now. I laughed so hard I had tears in my eyes & I kept telling him to stop, we were suppose to be talking about love or relationships or something other than being a comedy show in the rain.

Fortunately, I was able to coach this maleable man to polish our onscreen presence: don't put the umbrella pole in front of my face, don't put it in front of your body, quit chewing your gum, don't poke my eye out with the umbrella, don't look straight ahead like a zombie, look natural...

Meanwhile, the rain machines kicked into high gear. The attractive young man had his back to the machines, while I was facing him with my back to the railing near the water. First he noticed his back getting wet. The umbrella moved back & exposed me. I told him that I could hold the umbrella if he couldn't handle it.

"I'm getting wet!" he yelled!

"Ssssshhhhh! Good, it's a rain scene, now position that umbrella over my head, you are the man, you are suppose to get wet" I said. He obviously didn't realize that the rain scenes are oftain favorites in Bollywood movies, so I explained this & told him how many Indians love rain since it is so infrequent in most of hot, dry India.

The machines spewed like a geyser at Niagra Falls. Now "Extra Boy's pants & shoes were getting drenched. But hey, I was nice & toasty under the umbrella. I coldn't help but giggle. Most people would pay to be in a Bollywood film getting soaked, but he had no clue how blessed he was! To him, all the stars were just people acting, getting wet, doing a job. They could have been local thespians for all he cared.

Nearby, I felt very sorry for Rani & SRK. They were getting drenched in the rain scene with no umbrellas at all. I wanted to give them ours, but that wasn't in the scene. Between takes, they would be surrounded by caregivers who would give them chai, drape towels around them, warm their hands with a blow drier.

Shah Rukh Khan smoked frequently, like a chimney, but maybe he was trying to warm up from the inside out. Sometimes he would do pushups between smokes. I even got to see him changing his clothes on the set... even though he is not very tall, his presence is huge & his muscles are very noticable, too!

Rani was brave, very focused on getting the scene right & was very tolerant of people primping her hair, fixing her makeup, adjusting her clothes, again & again & again. Sometimes she would stamp her feet in irritation at something, but it was a playful expression that was endearing.

Karan Johar was very patient, often giving the impression that he wasn't even the director. It was almost as if his instructions & desires were communicated telepathically. Everyone just seemed to KNOW what he wanted. He rarely seemed to openly direct anything, but it was quite obvious that he was a very accomplished conductor of the unfolding concert.

I could see how difficult being an actor, director, crew member was. All the traveling, sleeplessness, working in extreme weather conditions, fans, extras, security, different environments, seperated from family & friends, take 1, take 2, take 3, cut, action, cut, action, back to 1!

I kept wishing I could help them: give them Reiki healing, massage, or even tarot readings. But how in the world would I ever infiltrate their tight security? I had no intentions to even try.

- To Be Continued -

Kissing College

2005-10-20T13:47:00.000-04:00

Someone posted this on an online group & since it piqued my interest,I decided to respond (below their post).

Original Post:

Want to discover what your lip locks reveal about you and your romantic destiny? Keep reading for insight into the passionate nature of the signs.

And at the end, you'll find what's my kissing sign, and if may be someone you'd be interested in.

Aries: You're too busy worrying about your breath to really get intoyour kisses.

Taurus: Your kisses linger; they are deliberate, heartfelt and theycan go on and on and on…

Gemini: Your kisses are interrupted by spasms of giggles, smiles andfunny observations.

Cancer: Your kisses are warm and tender, and you never want to letthem go.

Leo: Your kisses are wild and uninhibited, biting and clawing; youexpect applause for your performance.

Virgo: Your kisses are so subtle and tidy, your lover only noticesthem once you've finished.

Libra: Your kisses are quick and passionate fits of lustful pleasurethat are there and then gone.

Scorpio: You skip the kiss and get to straight to … whatever comesnext for you.

Sagittarius: Your kisses are surprising, spontaneous affairs thatleave the kissed wanting more.

Capricorn: Your kisses are intense moments of sublime relief fromthe stress of your day.

Aquarius: Your kisses are wet and messy, and you tend to keep youreyes open.

Pisces: Your kisses are starry-eyed, amorous and long lasting.

I am Libran. and its very true about me.

What about you ???

-Raj

........................................................................................................................................................................

My Response:

I am a Libra, but it's been so long since I kissed that I can'treally recall what it's like...

I THINK my kisses are very passionate, however I am always concernedabout my oral hygeine & sometimes I've been known to nibble.

My smooches are always heartfelt or else I wouldn't be kissing inthe first place.

Sometimes my kisses are interrupted by spasms of giggles, sometimes it's other kinds of spasms.

My kisses are always warm & tender, since I am still alive & not acold fish.

My lovers always notice my kisses, even if they are subtle & sent over the phone.

Sometimes I have been known to skip the kisses & go straight to the main course, but afterwards, I like to enjoy kisses as desert (that includes chocolate kisses, too!)

Sometimes my kisses are surprising (stealth mode) & always spontaneous. I don't think I've ever planned a kiss in advance,well, maybe fantasized, but that's another story.

Who can think of stress when they are kissing? Not me!

Never wet & messy, my kisses are sometimes delivered with open eyes, since eye contact creates a strong energetic/spiritual contact. The eyes are the windows to the Soul after all!

Sometimes long lasting & frequently starry eyed, all my kisses are amourous... well, except the times when someone sneaks up on me & sticks their tongues down my throat without first determining if Iam even interested in kissing them or not.

Raj, maybe we can start a kissing college!

:)

BombayJen

KANK Experiences Part II

2005-10-18T19:22:00.000-04:00

On Friday, Oct. 14th, a desperate impromtu photo shoot took place in Jigar's basement apartment; with Paul playing photographer with his Paparatzi-Laxshmi Camera & Jigar playing lightman as he taped a piece of paper over a high powered construction light & aimed it into the scene.

We were trying to get some different photos of me to submit to the casting agency for consideration in another KANK shoot & there wasn't enough lighting in the apartment.

Within 30 or so minutes after sending the photos via email, I received a call from the casting agency to be in KANK again on Saturday the 15th.

I was instructed to arrive at the holding area (a place where cast & crew check in/check out, store their belongings, eat, use the restroom, etc.) at 8 am, told to wear business clothes & bring an umbrella.

"Think Wall Street" I was told.

"Wall Street? I don't know anything about Wall Street or it's fashions." I thought, but didn't want to say anything lest I ruin my chances to be in the shoot.

Not wanting to ask questions to waste the casting agency's time, I agreed to do whatever I was told so that I could be involved.

"What the hell am I going to wear, I didn't even bring business clothes, they never told me to & I don't want to miss out on the shooting," I lamented to my friends, Paul & Jigar.

Our umbrellas lay damaged & lifeless on the floor of the apartment. They couldn't be used in a shooting, either.

It became obvious that I needed to go on a clothing & umbrella seek & acquire mission. But time was running out. It was Friday evening & I was on a shoe string budget. I couldn't afford to go out & buy 2 - 3 business outfits to wear just for the KANK shoot.

After making a phone call, I was blessed to find a friend who was able to loan me some business clothes. Ordinarily, I am not able to fit into Indian women's clothing since they are so petite & I am so big boned. So I was relieved & worried at the same time.

Now it was a matter of waiting to try the clothes on later that night when we could stop by Seema's apartment in Edison NJ. If they didn't fit, I was going to be up a creek without a paddle.

Luck was with me & my prayers were answered when I purchased an umbrella early in the evening & tried on the clothes at approximately 1 am. Although they were snug, I was able to move & breathe in them, which would be necesary for me to be in the film.

We arrived home at Jigar's place at around 3:00 am & Paul set the alarm for 5:30 to get ready for the shoot & arrive on time at 8:00 & we promptly fell into a deep sleep at 3:30 am.

The next thing I knew, I awoke to Paul's frantic voice yelling,

"SHIT!"

I awoke immediately, partly because Paul rarely yells & partly because he hardly ever uses profane language. I knew this had to be important & it was:

It was 8:30 in the morning, 30 minutes after the start time!

- To Be Continued -

Death by Concrete

2005-10-17T18:09:00.000-04:00

My travel companion, Paul & I returned to Pennsylvania this morning. The long, late drive was a bit torturous. We departed NJ at 10:20 pm after visiting a friend, returning some borrowed clothes (used for the KANK shoot) & eating a tasty Indian dinner with home made chapatis.

I tried to stay awake to keep Paul company but he told me to go to sleep, he would be fine, he would wake me up if he needed help or got sleepy. He said if he got tired, he would eat something, since he believed that as long as he was chewing, he always stays awake.

So I slept, tossing & turning, muscles cramping, as best I could. Then I heard the sound - a deep, loud, resonant buzzing, vibrating noise & opened my eyes to see that we were on the burm of the road, heading for the concrete wall in front of us!

"PAUL!!!"

He jumped to attention & aimed my Jeep between the white lines again.

I started pinching his shoulder, arm, ears, slapping his back to wake him up while he squealed,

"That's enough! I'm awake! I'm awake!"

"Oh, no, it's not enough!" I exclaimed.

"I want to make sure you are sufficiently awake! You shouldn't have fallen asleep at the wheel if you didn't want to get smacked around!"

Paul then assured me repeatedly that he was completely awake & that he hadn't actually been asleep while driving, it was just hard for him to stay between the lines.

I put the window down & let the cold air rush into the vehicle. I told Paul to start chewing on the forgotten piece of bread in his lap. So much for the chewing theory.

I pondered the difference between being awake but not staying on the road & being asleep & running off the road: the outcome was the same: potential death by concrete!

Then I proceeded to question Paul about his chewing/awake theory, why he didn't wake me up or take preventative actions.

I asked him why the hell he was afraid to fly in a plane, but not kill us on the highway. Did he let me rest so I could die peacefully & fearlessly in my sleep or what?!

Paul didn't have much to say, except perhaps that he was sorry & it wouldn't happen again. Funny, but I vaguely recall this happening on previous road trips. No wonder I didn't want to fall asleep, but I had a difficult time staying awake also.

The cold fall air continued to gush & swirl into my Jeep while Paul tried to comprehend our brush with death.

"Why is the window down?" he asked.

"Did you pass gas or something?"

"Are you fucking kidding?!" I shouted.

"The window is down to keep you awake!!"

"Well, I am very awake now, you can put it up, I'm cold."

"Good! I'm gonna' leave it down for awhile anyway" I said.

By the way, I had already offered to drive, but Paul prefers to drive all the time, since he feels he is in control of his own destiny. I continually remind him that if he drives recklessly, it infringes on my destiny, but then again, I feel protected by Spirit & believe there are no such things as accidents. So this is why I now have a personal chauffer, which I do enjoy, especially when we are driving in places like New York City!

It was around 3:50 am. After I put the window up, Paul told me I could go back to sleep, but I decided to stay awake to keep him awake. I flushed my brain with discussion ideas to keep his mind stimulated.

So we talked about our week's adventures: the people we met & helped - the psychic & tarot readings, the healings & discussions, motivation & inspirations we shared; the filming experiences on the set of KANK - Rani's handsome bouncer who I managed to rub the wrong way, meeting Abhishek Bachchan for the 2nd time in exactly 6 months to the day (15th of April & 15th of October, 2005) seeing India's largest stars in person, sometimes within arms reach after discovering Bollywood only 2 years ago, meeting interesting extras on the set of KANK; braving New York City, the stress, chaos, traffic, subways (complete with rats & human feces, ugh.)

We experienced so many activities & adventures, struggles & accomplishments, faced our fears, danced with destiny & lost & found our sanity.

We stayed up so late most nights, our sleep banks are severely depleted. I am reminded of Sri Ganapathi Sachchidananda Swamiji's US tour this summer, how we were so severely exhausted that we were actually relieved that his tour was over.

While I will miss the Big Apple, her excitement & activity, the visiting Bollywood celebrities & the new friendhips we created, I am honestly very happy to be home in my humble apartment once again.

I missed the trees blowing in the wind, their leaves singing a sweet melody to me. I missed the fresh air, the stars blinking cheerfully at me (barely visible in the brightly lit city), the wide open countryside & her purity.

Most of all, I missed my daughter, Amber & my dog, Loki. I received a warm & loving welcome home by both. It feels great to be home. I know I shall return to NYC again, I know I will meet Abhishek again & I know that Divine intervention saved us from "death by concrete!"

BombayJen

NYC KANK Experiences

2005-10-13T13:38:00.000-04:00

Just a quickie update to let you know Paul & I have been in NYC since Tues. 10.11.05 am.

We left Pennsylvania at 9:30 pm on Monday night & arrived on the set of KANK at 7:30 am. Paul never even slept, but I got 2 luxurious uncomfortable hours of sleep on the way.

We got to be extras in KANK - I was in three seperate scenes, 1 with Rani in front of me, & 2 with SRK & Rani nearby.

I almost bumped into SRK as I was leaving the extra's holding area, I hadn't expected to see him, didn't know what to say as he stood 3 feet away. I clasped my hands together in prayer position & bowed my head, then he returned the greeting & was ushered past me.

The security on the sets is very high, the actors have personal security & they are watching ppl like hawks. Rani's bodyguard tried to toss Paul & our friend, Jigar, off the set because he didn't realize they were extras since they had registered earlier but had to drive around looking for parking & arrived on the set later than I did.

When they came on the set later & started talking to me, the bouncer thought I had just invited them on the set & threatened to kick us all off. It was quite a fiasco, I was trying to soothe him down & explain everything.

The personal security did let us stay on the set & I know he was just trying to do his job, but the experience certainly upset me. I was in tears afterwards since I was worried I might have jeapardized being involved with KANK in the future & seeing ABHI.

Overall, I enjoyed my time on the set, it was very interesting & educational. I'll never look at another movie as I have in the past, but will probably always be wondering how many shoots it took, how many times the hairdresser fixed the hair, how many extras they used, blah blah blah.

The casting agency said they were using 7,000 extras in the movie. But I doubt very many extras drove 400 miles to be in the movie like me & Paul. Since Paul took off work to come with me, he gave up $800.00 in pay. What a dedicated friend!

I don't want to drive home without seeing Abhishek, since I don't know if I will be called back as an extra, if Paul will be able to take off work to travel with me, if I will be able to afford the travel, etc. etc.

I just wish we could see Abhishek somehow before we leave on Sunday! I even have a birthday gift for his dad. I know I can help Abhishek & the other members of the cast & crew - but it seems so hard to get anyone's attention & there is such a lack of communication on the set, between crew, etc.

I send emails but I doubt they ever reach their final destination. The desire is here, but the avenues appear to be barricaded.

NYC is exciting, but so dirty, smelly & rainy. Everywhere we go, we get soaked. Umbrellas are being destroyed in the wind & abandonded, broken, everywhere.

Oh yea, I did meet Karan Johar in person, but he was distracted & looked at me really strange. I don't know if it was because I asked him if he was Karan first (I wanted to be sure, & had only seen a few pics of him in the past.) or if it was because I gave him my card & he thought my name, "BombayJen" was a bit odd...

I wanted to mention my interest in Abhishek, to offer healing for cast & crew, etc. but these things slipped my mind while Karan seemed distracted with food in his mouth at the snack table & rushed off to do something.

Seems like it is difficult to approach ppl on the set, even if they happen to be standing 2 feet away from you. One crew person said extras could take photos as long as there was no flash, so Paul tried to take photos of Rani & the security guy freaked out. There seems to be many unwritten/unspoken rules that newbies like us are not aware of.

And they herd the extras around like cattle, not telling us anything, just get on the bus, get off the bus, go to the holding area, wait...

They could be a lot more organized & efficient. I would do things much differently if I were doing the casting, but I am sure I am not aware of all the things they are doing behind the scenes, either. It certainly looks like a very challenging responsibility.

Anyway, I've gotta get ready to brave the NYC rain & subway. Paul & I need to buy new umbrellas, ours were damaged yesterday.

Have a GREAT (warm & dry) day!

BombayJen

New York City & KANK - Here I Come!

2005-10-10T19:50:00.000-04:00

GREAT NEWS!!!

I WILL be an extra in Khabhi Alvidaa Na Kehna after all!

I can BARELY contain my excitement, but I must maintain focus so I can get ready, otherwise, I might rush off without half the things I need.

I have too many things to do to get ready - just returned from the Universal Light Expo in Ohio this morning - had to unpack fast, washed laundry & now I'm packing again, rushing around, my mind visualizing, manifesting & my fantasy generator in full swing! (Who can blame me? )

A music DVD plays in the background, it's Amitabh vs. Abhishek, so nothing but their movie music videos are playing (I play this DVD very often, sometimes daily.)

It's hard to believe that I only discovered Abhishek & Bollywood in December of 2003... & now I am about to be a part (albeit a small part) of an actual Bollywood movie with Abhishek in it!

Of course, I am excited about the other BWood actors, actually, I like & admire them as well, especially Amitabh, SRK & Rani Mukherjee...

So even if I am speck in the film, I am most excited about being on the set, watching, learning & maybe even rubbing elbows with the stars that I have been admiring from afar...

I'll arrive in NYC about 6 am, filming starts at 7:30 am... sleep? Who needs sleep?! I'm wide awake with excitement!!

Gotta' go finish packing!

Wish me luck & please say some prayers for me!

My Daughter Is Now a Blogger!

2005-10-07T22:29:00.000-04:00

Well, it was only a matter of time before my daughter caught onto the blogging excitement after I shared some of my blogs with her!

For someone who reads ravenously, I have been trying to find a way to encourage Amber to write for severals years (I think she has natural talent, but what Mom doesn't think so about their beloved children?)

Well, now that the blogging bug bit her, we are competing for computer time & I hope her natural writing talent will burst forth like a geyser & a flood of words will flow into her newly established blogspot: InuDragon.

Way to go Amber! I love you!

Khabhi Alvidaa Na Kehna & Lessons Learned

2005-10-07T16:16:00.000-04:00

I submitted my headshots to Karan Johar's new film: Khabhi Alvidaa Na Kehna, even though I did not fit the advertised roles they were seeking.

I was hoping to be called as an extra, but volunteering on the set was/is something I would love to do as well.

Well, I've got good news & bad news!

The good news is that I got a call for a role in KANK!

The bad news is that I didn't get the message until after the shooting date (for this past Thursday).

I actually got a call for a role - not a local independant flick, but for a bona fida BOLLYWOOD film in NYC - & not any BWOOD film, but for KANK - with my favorite actor, Abhishek Bachchan!

... & I missed out on the opportunity!

I usually don't check my cell phone msgs. when I am at home & thats the number they called & left a msg with.

On top of that, I had been avoiding answering my cell phone Wednesday night when they called because some guy I met on the personals calls me like 25 times a day & I was avoiding him.

So, what are the lessons here?

1. BE PREPARED - to receive the call you want, especially when manifesting your desires. Have your bags packed, cell phone charged & handy, & things in order so you can make a date with destiny when the call comes.

2. DON'T AVOID - people or situations because you don't want to deal with them, you might miss out on opportunities & important experiences just by facing the music.

3. EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED - this is harder to do, but just be open to the Universal possibilities that may come your way in surprising packages or avenues.

4. FOLLOW UP - make the return call as soon as possible, accept responsibility for missing the initial call, make yourself available for future opportunities & demonstrate that you can be dependable.

5. MANIFEST AGAIN - the art of creating what we desire is called manifestation. Energy follows intent, so just by focusing our thoughts, emotions, desires, energy on what we want, we can actually attract it to us like a magnet in the Universe. If we go to a resteraunt & tell the waiter to bring us anything & then we don't like what they bring, we have only ourselves to blame. Think of the Universe as your personal waiter & order exactly what you want. (Universe: I would like an order of Abhishek Bachchan, please & a side order of KANK, thank you.)

6. BELIEVE - Never in my wildest dreams did I ever logically THINK I could be in a Bollywood production, I had my sights set much lower, on the beginner's independant set &/or a low budget flick. However, I always like to BELIEVE in the seemingly impossible - the pie in the sky - & while I have been critisized, I would rather have my head in the clouds than in the gutter. I BELIEVE that opportunity knocks more than once. I BELIEVE the impossible is attainable, look back in history & you will see this is true. The difference between possibility & impossibility is BELIEF.

7. ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY - don't make excuses or blame others for your own failings. It takes a stronger, more mature person to admit they screwed up. Don't be harsh on yourself, forgive yourself & move on. Crying over spilled milk doesn't clean it up.

8. FORGIVE - be willing to learn from your mistakes & shortcomings & forgive yourself for lost opportunites. Making war with yourself is not conducive or beneficial for opening new doors & possibilities in life. Learn from the experiences & become wiser because of them. If we were perfect, we would never have incarnated into this world to begin with.

9. VISUALIZE - picture what you want over & over, like a movie in your head, keep replaying those scenes that you love. When we use thepower of visualization, we focus our intention, energy & 6th sense; which further enhances our powers of manifestation. When we go beyond our physical containers, we expand our consciousness & awareness to a larger scope, thereby, increasing our reach into the wonders of the Universe & its response to us.

10. KHABHI ALVIDAA NA KEHNA - "Never Say Goodbye" to your hopes, dreams & desires. They are the fuel that propels our rockets into thespace of accomplishment & fulfillment.

Well, I've called the casting agency, but the person who called me will not be in the office until Monday. So I will call back then & let him know I am interested & available for future possibilities with KANK.

Maybe they have had a change of plans, or the person they used in the role didn't work out, or maybe they are running on Indian StandardTime, or I am the best person for the role, or ....

Well, I just have to believe in additional possibilities!

I'm packing my bags, getting my oil changed in my car, preparing for a trip to NYC, answering all my calls, arranging accomodations in the Big Apple & visualizing meeting Abhishek again & being involved with Khabhi Alvidaa Na Kehna in some way.

From now on, I am going to sleep with my cell phone between my knees with vibrate mode on (hee hee, just kidding) but it will be right next to me when I am sleeping, since I have been known to sleep through alarms & ringing phones.

And I'll pray like crazy that they want/need me for KANK again!

Khabhi Alvidaa Na Kehna!!

Put On Your Dancing Shoes!

2005-10-06T19:50:00.000-04:00

I love to dance, I always have.

Well, except those times at middle school or high school when I felt really self conscious or socially un-hip.

The true essence of dance is not what others may perceive it to be.

It's not about who can imitate moves from MTV or do the "ghetto-booty-call-can-can" or a perfect classical Indian maneuver...

It's all about the flow: the flow of the music & the response of your body - the flow of your energy & emotions & how they interact with the music, the beat & vibrations.

I wanted to be a ballerina as a child, but ballet class was short lived for various reasons.

Secretly, I have yearned to be a professional dancer, to earn a living doing something I loved - yet I lack the training or the financial ability to make this so.

So, I try to share my love of dancing with my family & friends. My daughter has innate ability but does not desire to go pro. I just made sure that she has experienced some different dance classes so she would have an awareness of the varieties that exist: tap, ballet, jazz & bellydance.
My friend, Paul, on the other hand, hates to dance. But the reason is because he feels he can't dance. I try to explain that if he would just "DO IT" then he would enjoy it. Every now & then, I put on music at home & we cut the rug.

First, I have to dance around him, do a few moves to distract him from his fears (which go back to childhood when he was much more uncoordinated & chosen last for sports teams events).

Then I begin coaching:

"Go with the flow"

"Feel the music"

"Pretend you are a leaf & the music is the wind"

"Imagine you are dancing with Lara Dutta"

"Act like Amitabh & just shake your fingers about & say, SHAVA SHAVA!"

Then his feet begin to move about, he closes his eyes, sways his shoulders, looks a little stressed & asks,

"Am I dancing?"

I smile & laugh out loud,

"Of course you are!"

So last week, Paul & I went out dancing. I worked really hard to get him to dance, I had to pull him by the hand onto the floor. He shook his self conscious booty for a minute or two & retreated into the dark corner to watch.

I noticed a guy that came over & began talking to him as I danced to some Middle Eastern music. I wondered if he was a gay man trying to hit on Paul.

Later, Paul told me what the guy said to him. Evidently, the man was from Jordan. He told Paul that it is against the law to dance there & explained that the music playing was from his country.

Paul was shocked. I recalled reading something similar in a magazine recently, about a very strict President who outlawed all sorts of things in his Middle East country, including dance.

While the allure of exotic locations beckons me, I am a bit uncomfortable with the idea of going to a place where I might get arrested for dancing.

I truly feel that my Soul is celebrating life whenever I am dancing. I don't really care if someone is watching or enjoying what I do or not - or if my moves look beautiful or seem bizarre.

As long as I am enjoying myself, it's all worth it. The world ceases to exist as the music becomes my Universe, my blood is pumping fast, my heart is pounding an echo to the beat & I'm sweating with joy. This is the true essence of dance for me.

And with that said, I gotta' go. It's time to take a shower, get dressed & put on my dancing shoes!

From Brazil with Love

2005-10-06T18:26:00.000-04:00

Just this past Monday, I was talking to an anonymous male friend. We were talking about the differences in relationships, commitments, etc.

Like the difference between someone who is married & unhappy & cheats in the relationship rather than leave.

Or someone who stays in a marriage because they feel dependant or like a victim, in which they do not feel empowered to improve the relationship or to leave.

Or those people who are in comitted relationships & who don't want to leave but want to sample the smorgasbords elsewhere.

Of course, there are always the "open" marriages, but I wasn't really delving into the swingers scene.

I know someone who has a girlfriend & is not fully satisfied, although moderately so. He doesn't exactly want to cheat on her, but he also doesn't want to miss a unique opportunity if the "right" person should come along.

I guess its part of human nature to want to have something else lined up before you exit the previous relationship, job, etc. I can relate to that. The only problem, is that the future is unknown, so how do we know if the next relationship will be better or worse than the previous?

At the same time, I think it takes a stronger, more determined person to leave the pseudo benefits of an unhappy relationship to embark on a journey of singledom, fraught with all the perils of loneliness, sexual starvation, etc. (like I have.)

Anyway, I asked my dear friend, what he would do if his female friend from Brazil showed up & told him that she was unhappily married, but concerned about leaving due to financial dependance, potential loss of children, etc. & told him that she still desired an intimate, physical relationship with him.

My friend said, "I would say No."

My daughter, Amber, & I laughed - yes, I do have these types of discussions in front of her; it is a learning experience after all & my duty as a parent to help her become aware of various relationship issues in order to best prepare her for future relationships.

We both agreed that our friend had not experienced sufficient amount of desire in order to fully comprehend the situation.

After all, our friend is in love with this woman & was devastated when she moved to Brazil 3 or 4 years ago. He tried to keep in touch as friends, then communications dwindled & ultimately ceased. About 6 months ago, I encouraged my friend to write to his Brazilian friend again, which he did. He was truly dissappointed to receive no response.

But the flame of desire has never been fully snuffed out, when he hears music they listened to together, it brings tears to his eyes. After all, she had mutual feelings, but the truth is that she wasn't willing to give up her home, security & children for another chance at true love.

Of course this type of situation brings up all sorts of moral & Karmic issues. I know logically how I would want to respond in a similar scenario, but do I really understand myself well enough to know for sure?

Can anyone really cheat on anyone, I mean, I have always thought that if you are truly fulfilled & satisfied in a relationship, you will never have the interest or desire to look elsewhere. But we are humans, less than perfect, with biological needs & psychological frailties.

Today, my friend received a phone call. After many years of silence, his Brazilian friend called him out of the blue. It turns out, she is in town for the next 15 days. They haven't had much time to catch up because he was at work & couldn't really talk. They are going to catch up & spend time together very soon.

Maybe the scenario I used on Monday was more than that, maybe I was actually tuning into this situation before it happened. (I knew those Hemisync tapes were working!)

Whatever the outcome for my friend is, one thing is very clear to me:

His female friend traveled all the way from Brazil with Love.

Abhishek Bachchan, NYC & Call Me

2005-10-06T14:20:00.000-04:00

I know my favorite actor, Abhishek Bachchan, will be in NYC this month for Karan Johar's film, Kabhi Alvidaa Na Kehna.

I am hoping I will be able to meet Abhi again, as I did briefly this past April in NYC. (See blog: The Stuff Dreams Are Made Of: Abhishek Bachchan.)

I spoke to my friend, Pravesh, & begged & bribed him to come to NYC during Abhishek's filming; knowing for certain if he were there, Pji would assist me in connecting with Abhishek. Let me cross my fingers & pray!!

Here is a poem that I wrote about Abhishek Bachchan recently. I'm hoping I will find a way to share it with him, preferably in person.

CALL ME

I used to think
Abhishek would call me
Even though
We hadn't met yet
And he didn't really know me
But Pji introduced us indirectly
Via my writing, photos & poetry
I used to think
Abhi would write me
Because he thought
My poetry was amusing
Or my writing was interesting
Or my admiration refreshing
I used to think
He would call me
From far across the sea
To delight me &
To acknowledge me
A Bollywood newbie
For falling in love
With his acting
Pji once told me
He was quite certain
Abhi would contact me
But that was a year ago
Now I am not so
Certain that he was certain
Pji even offered to call me
While he was in ABII's company
Which excited & delighted,
Yet frightened me
It all seemed like
An amazing fantasy
But I declined Pji
Waiting, wanting Abhishek
To call me
Of his own accord
Not begged or forced
To say hi to someone
As a favor to his friend
And then in April, 2005
I met him, the actor I adore
Larger than life
Right in front of me
In person, not on the silver screen
And he actually remembered me!
He took my hand & smiled at me
And then I gave him more poetry
Along with my contact card
And my friend got so excited
That this event was actually happening
That he forgot to take any photos
Of me interacting with Abhi!
So then again,
I found myself hoping
That he would call me
Just to say Hi
Yet how is it that I
Could even begin to think
That he would spare
Such time for me
When so many others
Much more deserving
Are standing in line
Waiting for their time
To bask in the light
Of the "Rising Son"
And while another friend
Offered to give me
Abhishek's phone #
I could not imagine
Invading his personal time & space
By calling him uninvited
To simply say,
"I wish you the very best
In all your endeavors
Thank you for inspiring me
You truly deserve life-long success
I'd really like to be your friend
Because I feel like God
Has pointed me in your direction
Please don't think I expect
Your affections
I'd simply enjoy the joy
Of your companionship
I think we are compatible
On many levels & we could have
A very fulfilling frienship
Even if it's long distance
Over the phone or internet"
But how could I say
These things that I feel
When I am certain
There are so many others
Who feel the same way
Yet who will never see the day
When Abhishek would be interested
In such a proposal of frienship
And yet....
I still have hope
That he will call me some day...

Meeting James Van Praagh

2005-10-06T00:42:00.000-04:00

If you've ever heard of medium, James Van Praagh, I can assure you that he is as wonderful in person as he is in his books & on TV.

My daughter, Amber, & I were fortunate to meet James in person at the historic LilyDale museum.

We have friends who live in & near LilyDale & they were happy to introduce us to James & his friends while they were visiting LilyDale, prior to James' presentation.

It was a blessing to get James' autograph after reading his highly enjoyable book, Talking to Heaven.

Picasa Hello Photo

2005-10-05T23:35:00.000-04:00

Well I just signed up for Picasa Hello via Blogger & posted this photo, although I am trying to figure out how to post one to my profile as well.

I guess the photos posted on my website are all too big in size & I don't feel like manipulating my photos at the present moment.

I played around with Picasa & brightened the hues & saturation of this photo... so yes, it was manipulated. The sun actually was not shining in my apartment.

So far, Picasa & Hello seem like great photo software programs... although I really haven't had much time to learn them comprehensively - I just played around a little.

I must admit, I am behind in the times with photo softwares... When I try to use Adope Photo Shop, I am overwhelmed by all the options... I am definately not a techie person & I dislike reading manuals & Help sections. This is where the geeks & nerds come in handy! They really know their techie stuff. As for me, I just know enough to know that I am really confused!!

The Organic Movement

2005-10-04T05:33:00.000-04:00

I am definately a proponent for Organic foods & the Organic movement (I am wearing organic cotton clothing as I type this.) Being raised by Hippies helped my awareness begin as a young child when I was only allowed healthy, organic foods, vitamins & supplements. At times, I was envious of other children who had junkfood in their lunch boxes, because I guess they appeared "cool" with their processed, prepackaged foods that were the subject of tv commercial adorations. When I would visit my traditional food consuming grandparents, they would ask me what I wanted to eat & I would loudly exclaim, "JUNKFOOD!!" Thankfully, those days are over, as my awareness has expanded past the glitz & glam of tv commercial brainwashing. I did struggle as a child while I was living on a Hippie commune in Summerville, Tennessee (www.thefarm.org) because it was totally vegetarian & a shock to my palate: no sugar, no milk, no eggs, everything was soy based - & I hated soy! But they were onto something wonderful: ORGANIC: they grew all their own vegetables (& I even had to go out into the fields & help pick them - I never did like the feeling of picking prickly veggies.) But I love the feeling of consuming something that has been nourished by the earth, blessed by Mother Nature herself & kissed by the loving rays of sunlight. I do not believe in man-made chemicals, fertilizers, pesticides nor do I believe in injecting growth hormones into anything I consume. If it is not natural & naturally created, it is not beneficial - as far as I am concerned. Our food chain is being destroyed, the earth is permeated with chemicals that are having a negative effect on it & we in turn, are being poisoned. My friend, Sabiha, recently told me that in Pakistan, everyone thinks Western food is superior & much more sanitary than in India or Pakistan. Most people cannot afford all those chemicals to put into or onto the foods, so most foods are organic. Yet the commercial brainwashing has infiltrated those countries as well, as the general consensus seems to be that our foods are healthier - even people eating at McDonalds are considered to be high society. I shudder at the mere thought & it's implications. I am certainly not an expert on organic, so I suggest everyone does their own research & develops their own opinion.However, I hope you will educate yourself about the benefits of Organic. If you believe in the benefits of Organic, I encourage you to take some actions in protecting your rights as a consumer.
A great, amusing flash video to watch that I highly suggest is: Store Wars: http://www.storewars.org/flash/index.html If you enjoy the Star Wars movies, you're gonna' love this one! Please read the article below about major food corporations & their attempts to include man made chemicals (artificial ingredients) in certified Organic foods. You can also sign an online petition, the link is located at the end of the following article. Here's to your health! :) BombayJen ................................................................................................................................................................. Did you know the food industry is busy lobbying Congress to change the law so that artificial ingredients can be included in foods labeled "organic"? Tell Congress that you don't want to buy "organic" food made with chemically-derived ingredients! As the primary shoppers in our households, we've got enough to worry about without having to question the authenticity of the food labels we read at the grocery store. But big food manufacturers such as Kraft are lobbying Congress to change the law so that artificial ingredients can be included in foods labeled "100% organic." Tell Congress not to weaken this law! Why can't they just leave well enough alone? In a word -- profit. Food companies know that educated consumers care about the foods they eat and are willing to pay more for healthy products that carry the "organic" label. Cynically, the industry is claiming that consumers do not care about the use of artificial ingredients in food products labeled "organic" and are trying to slip this change into the law without any public input whatsoever. But U.S. consumers definitely do care! A recent nationwide survey by the nonpartisan watchdog group Consumers Union found that an overwhelming 85% of Americans said they do not expect food labeled as "organic" to contain artificial ingredients. Now, we must make sure that the public's voice is heard - and not simply that of big business. But we must act quickly - Congress could take up the issue this week. Tell Congress that "organic" should mean exactly that - no artificial ingredients allowed! Thank you for taking action today! - Dawn Sanders Care2 and ThePetitionSite team http://www.thepetitionsite.com/takeaction/860594522?ltl=1128377377

Interests & Self

2005-10-04T05:29:00.000-04:00

I recently had a conversation with a guy who basically told me that he was interested in ME; but he did not want to share my spiritual, metaphysical & healing interests - he wanted me to keep them seperate (because he did not believe in them &/ was scared of them.) His philosophy was that he could keep his work seperate from his personal life & not expect his friends or potential partner to share in his computer/technology interests. And while I could understand his point of view, it was apparant to me that he did not comprehend who I am. I tried to explain the obvious, that to seperate who I am from myself would result in me not actually being my true self: hence, he was asking me to become someone different, someone less than the sum of my parts. So, how do I explain to someone that my interests are not merely "interests", that they cannot be compartmentalized away from me, but that they are ingrained & interwoven into the very fabric of my being, entwined into & within my very lifeforce? And for those who do not comprehend & respect that creativity & spirituality are the blood within my veins, the energy fueling my very Soul, I feel it is impossible to have a deep, positive, mutually beneficial relationship with them. Yes, I do believe that some of our interests are seperable from ourselves... But I think it is important for us to have clarity & to understand the differences between our true personality, life purpose & innate talents & the things that we do simply to occupy our time or pay our bills. Perhaps if we always did those things that we truly love & aligned ourselves with our life purposes, if we followed our hearts & dreams & supported ourselves with these endeavors, we would never be requested or expected to seperate our interests from ourselves.

Amitabh Bachchan's Flooded Library

2005-10-04T01:52:00.000-04:00

I recently read that Amitabh Bachchan's library was destroyed by the Mumbai floods & that he lost many rare books that he had spent years collecting.

After reading about it, I was inspired to write a poem which expresses my feelings about Mr. Bachchan's loss.

I would love to share this poem with Mr. Bachchan, but I do not have his contact information. Perhaps someone will assist me in this endeavor...

FLOODED LIBRARY

Dear Mr. Bachchanji,
I mourn the loss
Of your beloved books
Who met their demise
In a watery grave
As their print was washed away
I feel for your loss
Since I comprehend
And understand
Books are more than
Paper & print
That we hold in our hands
And scan with our eyes
Books are much more
Like trusted friends
Who speak to our senses
And stimulate our minds
Books help us to see
When we are blind
Each book is so unique
With its own texture & cologne
Books transport us
To other dimensions
Encouraging us
To use our imaginations
Books are patient
While they wait for us
To pick them up
And caress them
Like an old lover
Holding a torch for us
Wanting for us to undress them
Books introduce us
To new philosophies & possibilities
Through the hearts & minds
Of their authors
Mr. Bachchanji,
I mourn the departure
Of ink from wet paper
Dissolved in the flood
Of Mother Nature
I mourn the death
Of your friends
May they rest in peace
And may you recover
From the sorrow of
The reduction & destruction
Of your library
Though I know
You will never forget
The beauty & depth
Of each & every book
And how they looked
Before their pages came to harm
And became disfigured by moisture
When they graced your shelves
Standing at attention
With upright spines
Pining for your affection
Hoping to be carried
In your strong arms
And caressed
By your graceful fingertips
As you delved into the passages
Printed upon the pages
Between reading scripts
And preparing for the stages
While they waited hopefully
To be laid upon your chest
As you drifted into a peaceful sleep
In the middle of the night
With thoughts of them
Swirling in your dreams
Yes, Mr. Bachchanji,
I know your books
Will always be kept alive
In your memories
And yet …
I grieve with you
Nevertheless

First Poetry Slam @ The Shadow Lounge

2005-09-21T16:42:00.000-04:00

Last night Paul (friend) & I went to the Shadow Lounge for their first poetry slam of the 2005/2006 season. It was my first poetry slam experience & I'm still digesting it.

Most of the poetry was more like rap - singsong with rappish beats & lots of ranting & raving - about politics, black oppression, female inequality, conspiracy theories, etc. Not a single poem about love, though there was one about Katrina (hurricane in New Orleans).

The judges had no qualifications, other than simply showing up & volunteering. Who is to say they are not friends with one of the poets? Most of the judges don't even write or read poetry or know anything about it. And yet, these judges' scores determine who goes to the nationals to represent Pittsburgh - amazing!

I feel a bit intimidated to even consider participating in the slams. If they are judged by people who cannot relate to my poetry, how can I possibly score well? Would they really be interested in love, spirituality, metaphysics & poems that motivate & encourage?

Would I be enlightening people & uplifting the energy & vibrations even if I placed poorly? If my intentions are to help & to heal, does it really matter if I win or lose? I am sure my ego could take the blows, because there is little ego to rekon with anyway. But I guess it is my confidence I am concerned about. I am not experienced at public speaking, especially not my innermost feelings.

The music between sets was too loud & had the wrong energy for poetry readings - it was more like rapping slams. Definately not what I would have expected for a poetry slam, but then again, I am a little behind in the times & not up to speed with this type of spoken word event.

So I'll need to do a little research on this before I decide to make suggestions to the organizers. I must say that the people who are organizing these events are really great people, DJ, Justin, etc.

And the atmosphere at the Shadow Lounge is very interesting, cozy like a coffeeshop with tables & couches & chairs, artsy & spacious like an art gallery (well, they have art shows there, so I guess it is) & hip like a club. I do like the place.

And Paul (psychic-medium) likes talking to the old black man (in spirit) who frequents the place.

Hurricane Katrina: What Would I Do?

2005-09-02T13:24:00.000-04:00

I have really been praying a lot for the people affected by Katrina & wondering why this has happened. Is it a cleansing of the earth, a life lesson in humanity & humility, poverty & spirituality? I have no clue, but there sure seems to be a lot of "Natural Disasters" lately. There is an important message here for sure. I am so blessed to be in Pennsylvania, but I can't help but wonder what I would do if I was in New Orleans... Would I become resigned & give up, would I be patient & pray, would I become angry & violent, would I help with rescue efforts or just go my own way? I am sure I would experience a multitude of emotions & feelings, respond with many varied reactions. I would hope that God would use me as an instrument to help others, that I would be able to perform Seva in some way. I would most likely be drawn to helping the animals, who, having become domesticated, really have a difficult time surviving on their own. I think I would want to journal or write poetry, but finding a pen & paper might be difficult. So I would probably try to find something to write on, like wood or building scraps. Then for a writing implement... Well, mud would probably work & there seems to be a lot of mud in the area. I could do it finger paint style or maybe even dip a stick or piece of wood into the mud & scratch out letters. I would like to think I would try to organize a prayer group to recite prayers together, sings bhajans or in some way focus the energy & raise the vibrations in the area. I would summon all the angels, deities & spiritual masters I could & ask them to create a vortex straight to God to allow healing energies to concentrate & disseminate into the area. And, I would offer healing to others. I would try to organize "bathroom" & trash locations, to keep them seperate from contaminating the areas in which the people are concentrated. And I would try to find a way to wash clothing, especially for babies, since diapers are probably not available. And I would pray some more!

Seventeen!

2005-08-27T15:13:00.000-04:00

My daughter, Amber, turned Seventeen on August 26th!

WOW! I recall when I was seventeen, I was living on my own, supporting myself, struggling, making poor life decisions & choices & suffering because of them.

I often wonder why I did what I did, but I realize I was very troubled & confused (ha ha, I've been that way most of my life!)

I finally feel that at 35 years of age, I am just now beginning to heal from my past mistakes, choices, thoughts, fears, etc.

My relationship with Amber is happier & healthier than it ever has been, we grow closer every year because we are at a stage where we are actively trying to understand, accept, encourage & motivate each other.

This is not to say we didn't love each other before or that everything is perfect all the time, but our relationship has reached a level that we never experienced before.

I truly feel that the generations of abuse & neglect & negative karma that were passed down over the years ended with Amber.

Though I am not a perfect parent, I am at a point when I recognize my mistakes or poor choices, I share them with Amber so she can see that I am ever learning, changing & growing from experiences.

Birthdays have always been difficult for Amber, since she doesn't have many friends & it's summer time, so most people don't come to birthday parties...

It's challenging for teens since they usually want parties but it's not as easy as taking some little kids to Chuck E.Cheese's... there really aren't many activities geared towards teens these days. It's like they are dangling between childhood & adulthood, wanting to be both & neither at the same time. It's quite a dilema!

So, I let Amber choose her Birthday activity, which was going to Kennywood Amusement park with her best friend, Kyra. I took them out for an Indian dinner with friends, Paul & Romi, followed by Amber's favorite: cheesecake!

Happy Birthday Amber, I love you!!!

ARYA: A Letter to Friend, Manan Singh Katohora

2005-06-06T14:55:00.000-04:00

Hello Manan!

I would like to congratulate you, your cast, crew, production team & everyone else involved, on the release of ARYA!

I enjoyed the movie immensely & I look forward to seeing more of your productions & performances in the future!

Watching Arya was like Deja Vu for me, as I have recently been to theAyurvedic Cafe, Indian Cafe & to Royal Albert's Palace; I have recently met Raaj Grover, Chander Malik, Om Bansal & Sarina Jain & I know Tirlok.

Never before have I watched a movie where I knew so many people involved in it & been familiar with so many locations used in it!

It truly proves that we can utilize our friends, resources & networks to create & produce in non-traditional ways. It demonstrates the powers of collaboration, unifying the energy of a group, to give birth to a new creation, a new life.

What makes this movie so real for me, is that I have had a "behind the scenes" perspective, by being involved in your group & by being familiar with many of the people & places involved in this movie.

Unlike seeing a movie in the theatres, where I don't know anyone involved in it, or recognize any places used in the filming, ARYA holds more importance to me personally, because of knowing you & being a part of your creative community.

It has been like watching the birth of a dream, a dream come true. Most importantly, this movie helped inspire me to more fully tap the creativity residing in me & to connect with other creative individuals for future collaborations.

Thank you for this thought provoking & entertaining movie & for your wide spread community!

Namaste,

BombayJen

Spiritual Cinema & Film Festivals

2005-04-29T01:19:00.000-04:00

Spiritual Cinema is a wave of new creativity, created to share important, positive, powerful messages with the masses, via cinema.

While there have always been inspiring, motivating, spiritual & metaphysical movies throughout movie history; there is a new desire & need among the masses to be nourished by more quality films.

There is also a new recognition & realization among filmmakers & producers to create & provide these thought provoking & Soul stirring movies.

So I thought I'd share with you some spiritual cinema links...

ORGANIZATIONS, CLUBS, ETC.:

Spiritual Cinema Circle
Spiritual Cinema Alliance

MOVIES:

What The Bleep Do We Know
Indigo
Short Cut to Nirvana

FILM FESTIVALS:

God on Film Festival
Damah Film Festival
Spiritual Film Festival

Also, there is a spiritual film festival scheduled for Pittsburgh in the Spring of 2006. I'll post details as they become available.

Hip Hip Hoorah for Spiritual Cinema!!

BombayJen

Woman Breastfeeds Tiger Cub

2005-04-27T15:15:00.000-04:00

Wow!

I came across a very interesting article about a woman breastfeeding 2 tiger cubs who were rejected by their mother, check it out.

I applaud this woman for helping these cubs, I would do the same thing if I were in her shoes. I love animals so much, especially babies, I would consider it an honor to contribute my life force to save theirs.

BombayJen

P.S. Sad note: after posting this, I later learned that the tiger cubs did not survive.

Pickup Lines & Initiating Contact

2005-04-27T02:16:00.000-04:00

I am conducting research since I am relatively inexperienced in the dating scene, especially since I don't usually frequent "singles" locations....

So, what are the best & worst pickup lines you've ever heard?

Do you prefer to initiate contact with someone, or have them initiate contact with you?

I have yet to initiate (personal) contact with a man in a club, singles event or anywhere else, for that matter! But I'm hoping to change that...

So, here are some of the best pickup lines I've heard of:

* "Did you know there is an Angel standing behind your right shoulder?" (Great for the metaphysical scene, but not good if you can't actually see the Angel! One of my friends used this on me, so it's possible to at least make a new friend with it, but be prepared to discuss the Angel!)

* Walk up to someone you are interested in, as you hold your drink in your hand. Take an ice cube out of your drink & drop it on the floor in front of the person, then say, "Now that I have broken the ice, what is your name?" (Abhishek Bachchan actually heard someone use this on someone else, but he didn't say whether or not it worked.)

* "You have a great aura, it's so magnetic, I couldn't help but be drawn to it." (Be prepared to discuss the person's aura, or explain why you were drawn like moth to flame...)

The worst pickup line I have ever (personally) heard:

* I was sitting at a counter in a bar. A much older, very unattractive biker dude sits down next to me & begins eating a hard boiled egg. As the egg is stinking & he is smacking his lips, he
looks at me (we were the only 2 at the counter) & he says, "I LIKE TO EAT PUSSY."

I was speechless! And grossed out! I left shortly thereafter.

BombayJen

The Stuff Dreams Are Made Of: Abhishek Bachchan

2005-04-21T01:24:00.000-04:00

Just last week, I was putting the finishing touches on packing for my trip to NYC to see "The Biggest Film Star in the World", Amitabh Bachchan.

It seemed I had an endless "to do" list even though I had begun preparing for the trip well in advance. Turns out my travel companion, Paul, & I never even got to sleep Wednesday night before we hit the road at 6 am on Thursday!

Since I knew that Jaya & Abhishek Bachchan would be the "special guests" attending the Amitabh Bachchan event at the Lincoln Center, I was excited & worried at the same time.

A dream come true, my favorite actor, Abhishek, all the way from India, here in the USA, in the same building... I just had to find a way to meet him personally!

In 2004, I was fortunate enough to be introduced to Abhishek by a mutual friend via my photos & writings; though I still aspired to meet him in the flesh, some how, some way, some day. And hopefully, that day would be soon!

Unfortunately, everyone I knew who could give me a personal introduction on April 15th, would not be attending the event... so my wheels were turning, my brain was storming, to find a way to meet my favorite Star, Abhishek, while we were on the same shore, in the same state, in New York.

For this trip, I had printed some new poetry for Abhishek & his family ("The Big Apple", "Your Fan" & "When One Door Closes"). I including a recent photo of myself & put them in a document display folder for him. "But how would I get it to him?" I wondered endlessly, continuously, ferverently. "How?"

Paul & I arrived in NYC on Thursday evening, road weary, tired & sore from the long drive & shaken by the chaotic, aggressive NY drivers. We felt as though we were in a foreign land, where it is safer to be a pedestrian vs. a driver, where swarms of taxis patrol the roadways, like sharks waiting for their next meal. Where drivers cut you off, won't let you change lanes or speed up, like jockeys in a race to win the grand prize. I couldn't wait to get out of my Jeep & onto solid, stationary ground!

We were welcomed warmly by our friend & gracious host, given a delicious, warm Indian meal & provided with a lovely place to rest our travel weary heads, in a prime location in Manhattan.

Parking is a nightmare in NYC & despite our friend's warnings, Paul illegally parked, not noticing the street cleaning sign & garnered a $45 ticket. In hindsight, we realized it was a blessing: cheap, close, convenient street parking for the whole 4 days! (Most NYC parking tickets are in excess of $100!) So, our parking spot was definitely well worth the ticket, especially since meter parking would have been triple the cost!

On Friday, the 15th, Paul & I walked in Central Park & went to the Metropolitan Museum of Art. My thoughts continually focused on Abhishek, "Where was he in this big city?" "Would I be able to meet him & shake his hand?"

As we walked endlessly about, exploring the Big Apple, I expressed my excitement by singing silly little diddies that I made up about wanting to meet Abhishek, while Paul sang backup & add-libbed. We laughed & giggled like little kids fantasizing about Christmas! Central Park was beautiful, the art exhibitions were fabulous, even though we never even got to see everything before it was time to get ready for the Bachchan event.

My thoughts were completely taken with my blessing & dilemma: the ability to see Abhishek in person vs. the silver screen was definitely worth the 1,000 mile round-trip drive & the associated travel expenses on my tight budget; yet, somehow, I felt that I would be highly disappointed if I didn't get close personal contact with him. Again, I began to visualize meeting him, shaking his hand, talking to him, but the details of when, where & how eluded me.

We arrived at Alice Tully Hall around 6:30 pm, an hour before the event was scheduled to begin. There were only a handful of people around, a few police officers chatting, a TV crew, photographers & some metal gates, which partitioned off a walk area leading into the center. I began to wonder if we came too early & if the event was Indian Standard Time vs. Eastern Standard Time.

Paul & I were fortunate enough to get a prime spot along the gate, in the center section, before more admirers arrived. I figured this way, we would be able to get photos from either direction as the Bachchans walked towards the Lincoln Center. As Paul & I were waiting, I was interviewed by TV Asia...

I was really nervous, totally unprepared for the questions, but enjoyed sharing my discovery of Bollywood & Amitabh. After the interview, Paul & I discussed the pros & cons of what I had said. "I wish I had said this…" "You should have said that…" Then the crew was back again.

"Can we interview you again, we had some technical difficulties."

This time, the interviewer asked me to read my poetry, so I read "The Big Apple". I was trying to speak clearly, was worried about how I looked, how I would be perceived, about the gum tossing about in my mouth like a cow chewing her cud, but excited to share my feelings & thoughts at the same time.

I don't know if it will be aired, or if it already has, but I'm going to try to get a copy of the interview even if they didn't show it, for laughs & giggles. Again, Paul & I discussed the subsequent interview. He was more than happy to point out my failings.

"Oh well, they can cut whatever they don't like" I said.

Then he reminded me I hadn't signed my poetry, so we fished around for a pen, found one that didn't work properly, then one that minimally displayed my signature.

"Fooey! Such fancy, gold embossed paper, nice poetry & with a lousy signature!" Oh well, I had better things to worry about, namely, connecting with Abhishek.

As I was organizing my folder with poetry, I asked Paul to help me hold things - my purse, the pen, my contact cards, video camera. But he reprimanded me & said,

"Stop asking me to do things, I can only take the pictures, don't ask me to do anything else!"

I guess he was overwhelmed by the situation & wanted to remain focused. So I fumbled with my stuff & decided to leave the video camera in it's case, since I had to focus on getting my folder into Abhishek's hands.

A few moments later & the Bachchans arrived in a shiny black limo. It was a zoo, people screaming & running everywhere like chickens with their heads cut off... Their limo was mobbed!

I looked at Paul for a brief second & noticed his camera inactive, so I said, "Start taking pictures & don't stop clicking!"

"Oh yea," he responded sheepishly.

Cops, bodyguards, etc. surrounded the Bachchans... Amitabhji looked calm & collected... Abhishek looked downright panicked, I could literally feel his discomfort... Jaya seemed irritated about something, very unemotional, but lovely as usual, in her red sari...

We were on the railing opposite the press, so the Bachchans had their backs to us... it was hard to see them & get photos, everyone pushing, bumping, yelling, talking, arms waving, cameras & video cameras going here & there... signs with messages waving in the air, people holding DVDs, books with Amitabh's face on them, hoping for an autograph... it was like a circus with no ring leader!

I kept hoping that Abhishek would see me, I didn't want to resort to screaming like a maniac, didn't want to scare him further, really wanted to help calm him down, but he was not seeing me as he walked towards me.. There was so much noise, talking, yelling, street cars honking...

So, as he was a few feet away, surrounding by an protective entourage, I said, "Abhishek, I'm a friend of Pravesh Sippy's" (as Pravesh had directed me to introduce myself)... but no response...
Then he was a foot away, coming ever closer, but people inside the gate were talking to him, shaking his hand, taking photos. I wondered who they were, how they got access, or if they were the ones hosting him... again, "Abhishek, I'm a friend of Pravesh Sippy's"... still no response...

Then he passed by me. Paul was getting nervous for me, he said, "He didn't hear you, say it again!" his camera inactive as he was lost in the moment, the excitement, the nervousness... traveling so far, but having no one to introduce us... standing with all the other admirers, like cattle in a stampede, trying to hold our spots against the gate while people pushed & shoved...

"Dear God, please let him hear me!" I prayed (for the umpteenth time)... He was now a few feet past me, his back toward me & was closer to entering the doors to the Lincoln Center, this was my last chance, I'd never be able to push into the crowd & follow him alongside the gate.

"Abhishek, I'm a friend of Pravesh Sippy's."

My heart was pounding, palms sweating, knees shaking, as I gripped the folder with my photo & poetry which I wanted to give to him..

And then, through the din, the clamor, the shouting, screaming, helicopters flying overhead, something happened. My voice registered! A name was recognized!

And then, Abhishek stopped in his tracks, his head turned to face me & we made eye contact! A smile played on Abhishek's lips, as the world stopped spinning & stood still, the moment forever frozen in my mind, & his hand parted the crowd surrounding him & reached in my direction! More pushing, shoving, as our hands touched & formed a friendly clasp.

A warm touch, a kind, gentle, considerate hand communicated with mine. No words were needed, the touch was the stuff dreams are made of. And then, the moment was over, he had to continue on & as our hands disconnected, I remembered the folder I was still holding in my left hand.

"This is for you" I said, hoping he would accept it as the jostling continued, I held my folder out to him. I no longer heard any noise, the only thing I heard was his voice.

"Yes, I recognize you from the picture Pravesh gave me." And his hands accepted the gift.

I explained that I had written some new poetry for him & his family. And then he was swept away in the river of people surrounding him. I clasped my hands together, a wide-toothed childish grin plastered on my face.

"He shook my hand!" I repeated over & over, ecstatic.

"Abhishek Bachchan shook my hand!"

And then I noticed Paul, frozen, camera hanging limp & useless. Then suddenly, he tried to introduce himself to Abhishek, but it was too late, all we saw were a sea of backs entering the doors to the Lincoln Center.

Paul was so caught up in the moment, worried I would lose my opportunity to meet Abhishek, that he completely forgot about the camera dangling uselessly around his shoulders! I wanted to smack Paul around, but it would serve no purpose, as I knew he felt bad about it. I would have to preserve this experience in my memory banks with no visual reminder.

When I began sharing the experience with friends, Paul asked, "How many times are you going to remind me that I forgot to take your picture with Abhishek?"

And so I told him, "I'm going to remind you until the next photographic opportunity so you don't forget next time!!!"

So Paul is really hoping that this opportunity will present itself soon, hopefully the Bollywood Awards!

Does anyone know if Abhishek will be attending? If so, I need to buy my ticket!!

Bombay Vikings

2005-04-04T01:41:00.000-04:00

Listening to my new CD ~ I just got it yesterday ~ I've been waiting over a month for it to arrive!! It's got two of my favorite Hindi songs on it ~ Hawa Mein Udati Jaaye & Woh Chali Woh Chali!

My neighbors probably think I've totally whacked out, listening to music in foreign languages, but I don't care. They still don't know why I wear "forehead jewelry" {bindi}. They won't ask me directly, they called my friend across the street to find out & she wouldn't tell them. Maybe I'll spread a little of the "culture bug", how can anyone who enjoys a great beat, not like BV??

Neeraj Shridhar's voice is so beautiful & expressive, soothing, sensual & projects his emotions so well. I have no idea what he is saying when he's not singing phrases in English, but I don't have to understand the words because I can understand the language of his voice, his energy.

I used to think French was the most beautiful language, but I've changed my mind, I think it's Hindi now. Hindi singers can do things with their voices that even the most talented English singers have yet to accomplish.

I really don't know the technical terminology, so I'll use an analogy: it's like the difference between a duck & a mockingbird. Hindi singers have such a wide range of vocals built into their language, it just comes naturally to them. The English language leaves so much to be desired ~ I've GOT to learn Hindi!!

Of course, I cannot omit mentioning the look of ecstasy & bliss that permeates Neeraj's body & jumps right out of the TV screen when he is finally with the woman of his desires. He is simply setting next to her, but you can't help but feel you've just walked into a sacred bedroom experience ~ I can't help but feel wistful. I'd be completely shocked if Neeraj wasn't truly in love with that woman at the time of the video filming & if not, then I'd say he definately needs to be acting, he's an absolute natural!

Ok, so I admit, I have a crush on Neeraj, but he's married. I wonder if he's got a single brother or cousin or... Hee hee hee

I hope Bombay Vikings comes to the US for a concert, I must see them live ~ otherwise, I'll have to find a way to travel to see them!!

Celestial Healing, "Beam Me Up Scotty!"

2005-04-03T04:31:00.000-04:00

In November, 2003, I was reading the book, "Celestial Healing: Close Encounters That Cure", by Virginia Aronson.

It was about people who had experienced miraculous healings from extraterrestrials, creatures from beyond our planet.

At the time, I was experiencing difficulty hearing from my left ear, due to an injury I had sustained over a year before.

My ear constantly rattled inside, like a speaker turned too loud, vibrating with all different pitches of sound.

My hearing was also muffled, as if I had an ear plug in & I was constantly telling people to speak up or talk near my right ear.

Yes, I felt old before my time. And I had tried various forms of energy & spiritual healing, herbs, massaging, ear candling, etc. with minimal improvement.

Over the Thanksgiving holiday, I traveled to North Carolina with the guy I was dating at the time, to spend time with his family.

We passed through some areas in some mountainous regions that were known to have had numerous reports of UFO activity over the years; even witnessed first hand by my boyfriend & his mother some years prior.

I began to think how cool it would be to experience alien contact, especially pertaining to healing! I had always felt an afinity for ETs & space movies since childhood, even before I saw Stephen Speilberg's famous movie, "ET".

Perhaps it began when I watched the movie, "The Day The Earth Stood Still" when I fell in love with the robot from outer space... or the early episodes of Star Trek, in black & white (yea, I had a crush on Captain Kirk, too!)

As a child, I did have some unusual experiences with spirit beings which I can only describe as being ETs, but now my memories have faded & the details remain fuzzy; however, these memories have been confirmed by a psychic.

Every night before I went to sleep in NC, I would read from the book until I was too tired to stay awake. Then, when I put my book away & said my prayers, I would also send telepathic communication into the Universe, requesting Celestial Healing.

One morning, I awoke early (unusual for me, as I am a night owl & not an early riser.) Somehow, I had more energy than usual, so I got up, made some tea & went into the living room to read while everyone else was still sleeping.

I began reading the book, intrigued by what I read, especially when I got to the section about how to identify if you've experienced other worldly contact.

Some of the identifiers were: unusual redness to the skin when not exposed to the sun (similar to sunburn), black outs in memory & loss of time, unexplained red lines on the skin, like cuts from a scalpel, chronic fatique syndrom, high pitch noise in the ears, etc.

Some of the indicators, I identified with. "How very interesting", I thought.

Then my significant other woke up & entered the room. He looked at me & said, "Hey, what happened to your neck?"

"What do you mean?" I answered, suddenly noticing the left side of my neck felt hot & was warm to the touch.

"Your neck has these funny lines on it, like you got cut or something."

"You're kidding!" I jumped up & went to the bathroom mirror & lo & behold, there on the left side of my neck, approximately 1.5 inches below my jaw line, were 5 fine cuts on my neck!

The cuts varied in size, the largest being on top about an inch long, with each line below it being shorter than the previous.

The cuts were very fine, as thin as a hair, they were raised & some even had specks of dried blood on them, the pattern was sort of like this (hopefully the formatting won't be lost, ignore dots, they were needed to hold the line placings) :

__________
..________
....______
......____
........__

It was like a descending triangle or upside down pyramid. I wanted to get some photos, but the camera wasn't charged & I somehow got distracted from having them taken later that day, thinking I could get them the next day.

I called my psychic friend, Paul, & told him about the lines on my neck & asked him to tune into my experience & tell me what he saw.

Paul replied, "I see an ET spirit floating above you while you are sleeping & it's doing something to your neck."

(Just like human spirits, ET spirits take a form to be recognized, not because they are limited to being a particular form. Spirits work with our consciousness so that they can be identified in a manner that we can comprehend. Hence, many Angels project an image with wings, not because they need them to fly, but so we will recognize them as Angel spirits & many ET spirits project as ETs so we will recognize them as being from another dimension.)

I never did get those photos, because the next day the lines were almost completely invisible, due to extremely rapid healing, very unusual for me, as well. Usually a scratch will leave a red mark on my sensitive skin for a year or more.

Most importantly, after my discovery of the red lines on my neck, I realized that the hearing in my left ear had been restored! I was grateful for the healing, whether it was a physical ET or a spirit ET doing the healing.

And I still think it would be cool to meet an extraterrestrial on the physical plane some time, "Beam me up Scotty!"

:) BombayJen

The Mystic Messages of BombayJen's Dreams

2005-03-29T06:05:00.000-05:00

I believe dreams are messages, but sometimes, determining the message can be as confusing as understanding the dream. I also feel that some messages come from within us, from our own subconscious, while other dreams come from external sources, stimulated by the Divine.

Not all dreams are realistic & those that are, sometimes don't appear to be at first. And some dreams are so realistic, it is difficult to determine if you are dreaming or awake. When I was a child, my dreams were so real to me that I would actually ask myself if I was awake or dreaming, while I was still in my dream.

Sometimes my dreams would be so scary, I would will myself to "Wake up! This is only a dream!" right before I was about to be murdered, or some other equally terrifying experience. Even though I became talented at willing myself awake, there were many nights I didn't want to go to sleep, or go back to sleep. Sleep was the enemy because that's when the dreams could creek up on me.

There would be times when I was awake that I would start telling people about events I had experienced, thinking they really happened, only to be told, "You were dreaming again, Jenny" or even worse, "Stop making things up."

I would wonder how something so real could only be a dream & why people didn't believe me. I really had to pay attention to everything I experienced in life & I began to ask myself if it was really happening, or if it was just a dream. I even started giving myself cues as to how to determine whether I was awake or not, so I could look for things to identify if I was in a dream world or the "real" world.

It was especially frustrating for awhile, because there were times when I would wake up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. And in my foggy dream like state, I would shuffle to the bathroom, trying to keep my eyes open in the dark.

I'd sit on the toilet, eyes too heavy to hold open while I relieved myself. And then I would get wet, which woke me up! How embarrasing to wet the bed in real life when I had been doing the right thing in my dream! Imagine having to ask yourself every time you used the toilet, "Am I dreaming? If I am, I better wake up now, before I peeeee!"

And then there was the reoccurring dreams... one in particular haunted me regularly as a child... I was a prisoner in a large stone or brick castle, controlled & manipulated by an evil person, surrounded by acres of property, far from civiliation.

The property was surrounded by an electric fence & every time I would try to escape, I had to figure out how to bypass that fence, or test it to see if it was on or not. When I was fortunate, I'd get past the fence & run like heck to the woods, which had a public park in it & I would try to find people to hide & protect me. If I found no people, the evil person would force me back to the castle where I lived a miserable & lonely existence.

Interestingly enough, after years of reprieve from this dream, I experienced it shortly before I became permanently separated from my husband in 2002. At the time, I was living in a large brick & stone house, on 16 acres in the country, with electric fence surrounding the property, which was surrounded by woods, & near a public park, where I had been meeting a friend for advice about my relationship problems. Deja Vu!

The best dreams were when I was flying & I would be so ecstatic because I would think I was really awake, having used all the "clues" to determine I was really not dreaming, to have everyone realize that I wasn't making things up... but then I was fooled again, because I would wake up, yet again, to the "real" world.

I think our dreams also change as our lives change, the more stressful our lives, the less attention we have to pay to our dreams. The more responsibilities & the less sleep we have affects our ability to recall our dreams. And even if we do recall them, if we don't write them down or share them with others, they can be quickly lost to the daily activities of our "real" lives.

For years, I have not paid any attention to my dreams. But as my metaphysical & spiritual activities & interests increase, as I take more time to pay attention to my dreams, to search for meanings & messages, the more that is being revealed to me.

Take 2003, for instance... I had a dream about a spiritual man, the leader of a group of mostly spiritual Indian people, riding on the back of a male lion (the size of an elephant). He was a new age musician & the cover of one of his CD's was revealed to me, which was pink & purple.

In 2004, I discovered that at the same time of my dream, Sri Swamiji was visiting PA, about 1 hr. away from me, he is a leader of many spiritual people, most being Indians, he is a musician, the creator of healing music & has a CD with a pink & purple cover!

Yet, some of the dreams I have begun to have in the past couple of years have begun to cause me concern. Last May or June, I dreampt of a fire in a brick or concrete building, in India. I was floating in the air above the building, watching adults dressed in white, some wearing turbans, running out of the building.

I even told a friend of mine in India about the dream, but he had not heard of any large fires that fit the description. Then, in July, there was a terrible fire in a school in India in the news. Most of the children perished because the adults did not save them.

Dreams like this really make me wonder why I have been chosen to experience them. After all, I do not even live in India. I know some people there, but not many at all. Other than my past lives in India & my desire to travel to India, I really don't have much of a connection with the country, unless you consider a deep, unexplainable love for Mother India to be reason enough.

And even so, how can I help? What can I do with this knowledge? There were no dates, no town or city names revealed to me. And yet, the dreams of destruction continue.

On December 23, 2004, I dreampt of an earthquake & tsunamis. But in my dream, I did not know the location, except that it was tropical. Again, no dates, no times, no names revealed. The dream was frighteningly realistic, as I felt the ground shake, rattle & roll beneath me, as I saw a wall of water rising up into the air, from miles away, as if it were some supernatural cobra preparing to strike.

In the next instant, I was right in front of the wall of water, like a tiny fly, I was floating in mid air. It was like one of those natural disaster movies, showing miniature houses being destroyed via movie magic. But this was no movie & there was no magic involved. I am still questioning the destruction wraught upon this earth & her people.

How fortunate I am to be safe & sound while others have lost their loved ones, homes, possesions, lives, even. And while I have pondered the natural disasters, seeking messages from the Universe these past few months, I have been visited by yet another dream.

Last week, I dreampt that I was visiting a city. I had met an Indian man, who borrowed some money from me before I was preparing to return home. I went to a local mall, where I waited in line for the bathroom & held a woman's baby girl while she used the toilet.

I was concerned about missing the bus or train, so I left the mall & walked along the sidewalk in the city towards the station. A terrible storm came up, unexpectedly, high winds, debris flying in the air, rain pelting. A piece of glass or metal flew into my right eye, but I didn't have time or the ability to do anything but keep my eyes squinted due to the wind, rain & debris flying everywhere.

I reached the edge of the city or town & I had to cross an intersection with a wide dirt road to reach the metal & glass covered walkway which led to the station. I wondered if it was safe to cross the road, to enter the walkway, since the weather reminded me of a hurricane or tornadoe. But I decided to cross anyway.

While I was in the middle of the dirt road, I heard a rumbling & felt the ground shake & I looked to my left & saw a wall of water bearing down upon me at a fast rate. My thoughts were to run to the covered walkway instead of the city block behind me, but a voice told me not to enter the walkway. Fear propelled me forward, towards the walkway, but as I got close, metal panes were ripped from the sides, glass shattered & my entrance was blocked by sheet metal.

It was evident I didn't have enough time to return to the city block for shelter, before the water struck me, but I turned around & began running. Now I understand why people run from destruction, it's easier to fool yourself when it's behind you where you can't see it, vs. when it's to your side & in your field of vision. My instinct told me to run away, with the water to my rear, rather than run with the water to my side, bearing down on me.

But I couldn't outrun the water, regardless of the direction I took. I never reached the shelter of the city block. As the wall of water touched me, I held the thought of acceptance, somehow asking the Universe to help me. I didn't ask for protection, I just asked for assistance. After all, the water was created by the very same force that created me.

And then something amazing happened. I was lifted into the air, right on top of the wave, as if some invisible force picked me up & placed me on the water. And for a little while, I was reminded of my psuedo surfing days in California as a teen, as I attemped to glide upon the surface of the water. I never succeeded as a teen, but I was definately riding the waves this time.

The same invisible force placed me gently on dry ground & while I was trying to understand what had happened, I came across a chai stand. A couple was in front of me, getting their chai & as I waited, I realized the destruction was limitted to certain areas of the city. I began to make plans to help the city recover from the destruction & before I drank my chai, I woke up.

There must be a reason, a purpose for these haunting dreams, but what?

And with that question in mind, I prepare for sleep, for more dreams. Hopefully the answers will be revealed to me via the mystic messages of my dreams...

Sweet Dreams!

:) BombayJen

BombayJen Dreams of Bombay Dreams

2005-03-27T00:06:00.001-05:00

When I first found out about Bombay Dreams last spring, I was itching to go see it! But I had a little dilema... no one I knew wanted to go with me, not even my Indian friends.

And being the country mouse that I am, I wasn't confident enough to travel to the Big (Scary) Apple all by myself, with no companion to show me the ropes of navigating such a huge city (I usually break out in a sweat just going to Pittsburgh, which I don't do often!)

My dream came true when I finally convinced my friend Paul, (who is even more uncomfortable in cities than I am) to travel to NYC in July.

I was about to purchase my tickets online, with the special coupon I had received from being on the Bombay Dreams mailing list, but then, I sprained my ankle.

So the trip was post poned until August, when our friend, Pravesh Sippy, was scheduled to visit from India. But then our NY trip was ultimately cancelled when Pravesh's plans were altered & Paul decided he didn't want to travel all the way to NY just to see Bombay Dreams. Double disappointment for me!

If only I had been able to see Bombay Dreams while I was in NY for the NRI TV Film Awards in December, but I had been invited at the last moment & was lucky I was prepared enough to even attend the function. Little did I know that Bombay Dreams was going to end in Jan. 05... Boo Hoo! My dreams were dashed.

And yet, the Universe continues to prove how our desires create our realities...I was at the Deja Vu Lounge last night & met an acquaintence, Neha, from NY who I came to know via a Yahoo group, NYC Indians Lounge... Neha was visiting PA for her friends' wedding reception (Congratulations Arun & Pooja!)

Interestingly enough, when I walked into the the VIP lounge, I noticed a man with a very unique presence sitting at the bar, chatting with some people. I thought to myself, "He reminds me of Abhishek Bachchan."

Later on in the evening, Neha, a very petite, sweet & beautiful woman, informed me that Manu, from Bombay Dreams, was there!

Of course, I knew Manu was from Pittsburgh, after all, I had read articles about Bombay Dreams & visited their website in the past. But I never imagined I would actually be attending an event with Manu! And I couldn't recall what he looked like, it had been months since I had seen any Bombay Dreams advertisements, articles or had visited their website.

When I told Neha that I would like to meet Manu, she walked me over to him & introduced us! And Manu turned out to be the very same man who I had initially noticed when I arrived!

Yes, creative types do seem to command my attention, hmmm, I must be psychic! The music was blaring & while I could have talked at length about my many interests in the Indian culture & creative & entertainment industry, Bollywood, Pittsburgh SAAFA, etc. etc., somehow, my thoughts just went *poof*!

So much for making a good first impression, ha ha! Oh well, at least I remembered to hand him my card after I mumbled about my desire to see Bombay Dreams...

Yes, the Universe works in mysterious ways. (I still want to meet Abhishek Bachchan in person, too, Universe!!)

I never got to see Bombay Dreams, but last night, I met the lead actor, Manu Narayan, in the flesh, looked into his large, brown, sparkling eyes & felt his expansive, creative aura.

Best of all, I didn't have to travel to NYC or Bombay to experience this Dream!

And I enjoyed spending time with Neha & her friends!

Thanks NYCIL! Thanks Neha! Thanks Universe!

Attraction, Married Men & Fair Game

2005-03-25T13:24:00.000-05:00

This is my response to someone's post in an online group discussion about attraction, marital status & infedelity:

I think attraction knows no boundaries, regardless of marital status, but the human mind & society do.

I think that attraction is a message, a guage, an indicator of something, but not necessarily something we have to take an action to pursue or fulfill.

Perhaps some women think married men are more desirable, for any multitude of reasons, however, I prefer men who are unattached & I will not get involved with someone who is in a relationship.

The reasons are many & varied, however, two of the primary reasons are:

1.) I don't want to play second fiddle to anyone, meaning if I am in an intimate relationship with someone, it will not be a threesome. I want to fill my partner's heart & soul with so much love that no one else in the universe could emulate or replace it while I am involved with the person. They will be completely satisfied & satiated on all possible levels. (Or at least, this is my intention.)

2.) Deceit creates negative energy & Karma. Deceit disrespects others. Deceit hurts feelings. Deceit is created when someone cannot be honest with themselves & others. Deceit allows people to run away from, rather than face & resolve their problems.

Again, there are many variables & I am certainly not perfect or judging anyone. I am simply saying, getting involved with someone who is already involved, is not an option for me.

As for the "Fair Game" situation, perhaps those women liked the challenge of seeing if they could pique a married man's interest, but I bet if they were married, they would feel different if another woman was doing the same with their hubbies.

Also, perhaps those hubby hungry single women had difficulties with relationships to begin with, after all, why would they even consider being bait for a fish who's already been fed vs. a hungry fish looking for a juicy morsel?? Maybe the bait was bad to begin with...

Someone who has previously experienced a comitted relationship & has parenting experience, has more practical relationship experience & knowledge than someone who has been single, or only dated casually & has no children.

But even we "experienced" persons began as inexperienced singles once, right? Sometimes a fresh, blank slate is better than one that has years of grafitti all over it...

After all, attraction knows no boundaries...

BombayJen

Casting Couch vs. Shagging Couch vs. Snagging Couch

2005-03-25T00:29:00.000-05:00

I suppose you could call me a bit niave...

I was interviewing a Bollywood movie producer once & I asked him how he discovered new talent. He replied, "The Casting Couch", then laughed & quickly clarified that he was kidding. (He is a very happily married & loyal husband.)

"The Casting Couch? What's that?" I wondered.... & gave it somethought. Aha! It didn't take long for me to figure it out. Somehow I assumed the "Casting Couch" was utilized primarily in the adult movie industry & perhaps on a lesser degree in Hollywood, but in Bollywood? Are you kidding me?

My fantasy of being in a Bollywood production was shattered. It's not worth it to me if it involves a "Casting Couch!" No way! Heck, I wouldn't even want to kiss someone I wasn't genuinely attracted to, even in a movie (unless of course, that someone happened to be my fantasy, Abhishek Bachchan, hee hee.)

Well, folks, I am no longer niave! (At least in this respect.)

I have discovered that the "Casting Couch" is a universal situation. But where does the Casting Couch end & the Shagging Couch begin? There is a distinct difference between ucontrolled desire & manipulative lust.

My impression of the "Casting Couch" is: "If you want to succeed in this industry, you have to perform XYZ on/to/with me" or something similar along those lines. The "Shagging Couch" involves two people who have a mutual attraction to each other that bursts into flames, instead of being snuffed out by professionalism. After all, don't professionals have desires, too?

But then again, I think there is another couch, called the "Snagging Couch", whereby, someone interested in the industry convincingly pulls the wool over the eyes of someone established in the industry...

Hence, the young, attractive & seductive "newbies"hanging on the arms of the established, gray, potbellied "oldies". Now I know where they got the term, "Sweating With The Oldies!" And to think, I thought it was a form of aerobics! ha ha ha!

So, which couch would you want to be on? The "Casting Couch", the "Shagging Couch", or the "Snagging Couch"?

As for me, I'll take whatever couch Abhishek is sitting on!

:) BombayJen

Singles Identification

2005-03-24T09:14:00.000-05:00

In preparation for Holi & other group events, I have a question:

How will everyone from Pittsburgh Indian Singles recognize each other?

We could wear nametags that say, P.I.S., (abbreviation for Pittsburgh Indian Singles) but after some quick thought, I realized it doesn't look very appealing.

"Excuse me, but if you need to use the restroom, it's over there..."

We could reverse it to S.I.P. (Single Indians of Pittsburgh) but we might get people pointing us to the water fountain or punch bowl, if they think we are thirsty & need a sip of something.

A friend of mine, who is shy, said he could wear a shirt that says, "I'm SHY, & I really want YOU." But I wouldn't suggest he wear that to the temple!

And what if someone he isn't interested in reads his shirt, he might be in trouble! Maybe he needs a velcro patch to put on his shirt so he can change it around to, "I'm THIRSTY & I really want MILK."

But what if one of the patches falls off & his shirt says, "I'm THIRSTY & I really want YOU." Uh oh! Double trouble!

Which brings me to the dilema of identifying singles in general. There are lots of married people who don't wear wedding rings, so, really, how do we identify the singles from everyone else?

If the married women have a huge kumkum bindi on their forehead & red streaks in their hair part, the single men know they are off the market.

But what about the women? How do they identify a single man? I need some suggestions! What if they kid tugging on his leg is his cousin or nephew? What if the ring he is wearing is for decoration & not a symbol of love?

Please help me out! Ideas? Suggestions?

I definately think there needs to be a universal singles identification symbol...

How about two letters: 'S & L' ... for 'Single & Looking'??

S & L,

BombayJen

Shilajit, The Fountain of Youth, or just some Asphaltum?

2005-03-17T23:46:00.000-05:00

In my never ending quest for vitality, optimum health & the fountain of youth (grey hairs & wrinkles, be gone!) I have happily stumbled upon a very unique substance called, Shilajit, "a closely guarded secret of Indian Yogis!"

This liquid black gold is used in Ayurveda & in the Ayurvedic texts it is called silajatu or shilajatu, but is commonly known as Shilajit. It's Sanskrit meaning is "conqueror of mountains and destroyer of weakness."

"In the raw form it is a bituminous substance, which is a compact mass of vegetable organic matter composed of dark red gummy matrix. The botanical name of Shilajit is Asphaltum (mineral pitch)."

"Shilajit usually collected over the ground or is found flowing out from between fissures in the rocks in summer months due to strong heat of the sun."

"In India, it is found in the romantic surroundings of the Himalayas: from Arunachal Pradesh in the east to Kashmir in the west. It is also found in Afghanistan, Bhutan, China, Nepal,
Pakistan, Tibet, and Norway, where it is collected in small quantities from steep rock faces at altitudes between 1000 and 5000 m. Shilajit samples from different region of the world have
different physiological properties."

Shilijat is reported to be an: aphrodisiac, rejuvenator, nervine tonic, stimulant, internal antiseptic, diuretic, lithontriptic.

Shilajit is prescribed for: genito-urinary diseases, jaundice, gallstones, enlarged spleen, digestive disorders, epilepsy, elephantiasis, chronic bronchitis, anemia, renal and bladder stones,
nervous diseases, amenorrhoea, dysmenorrhoea, menorrhagia, eczema, anorexia & fracture of bones.

If you purchase Shilajit, make sure you buy from a reputable company that screens for toxic ingrediants. Some Ayurvedic producers do not. I have used & suggest Banyan Botanicals.

Here's to your health!

Cheers!

BombayJen

Wisconsin DMV Instructs Motorists to Call Psychic Hotline!!

2005-03-15T01:53:00.000-05:00

I got a chuckle out of this one... ha ha ha!

Motorists received postcards from the Wisconsin DMV directing them to renew their registrations.

However, the DMV made a mistake when they printed the postcards & didn't realize the phone number was incorrect, so instead of reaching the DMV when they called, motorists called:

"the nations' most informative psychic connection service, helping you with love, money, health & romantic encounters."

Check it out!

Hee hee hee!

Cheers!

BombayJen

St. Anthony's - 2nd Largest Catholic Relic Collection near Pittsburgh!

2005-03-14T13:51:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I had the pleasure of visiting the world's 2nd largest collection of approximately 5,000 Catholic relics, second only to the Vatican's collection!

St. Anthony's was founded in 1883 by Father Mollinger, the son of a wealthy Dutch man who was the advisor to a Dutch King. Father Mollinger financed the construction of the church & purchased most of the relics with his own funds.

Father Mollinger was known to perform miraculous healings & there are even crutches on display that were abandoned by the healed.

Some of the relics include skulls from Saints, a single thorn from Jesus' crown, a splinter from Jesus' cross & threads from Mother Mary's shawl.

If you go to visit St. Anthony's, I suggest you go after Easter if you want the opportunity to meditate & connect with the energies within the church. It is extremely busy & can be very crowded during the time of Lent leading up to Easter.

However, the church offers a visual tour (you sit in the pews & turn your head as they point out the various primary relics, which are all sealed behind glass) so it's quite educational (as long as you don't get tired of turning your neck back & forth frequently for an extended period of time.)

The church has a gift shop, including a video of the history of Father Mollinger & St. Anthony's & they also sell Holy Water (which I purchased.)

I look forward to returning to St. Anthony's Chapel, when it's not quite so busy.

BombayJen

.........................................................................................................................................................................

St. Anthony's Chapel
1700 Harpster St.
Pittsburgh, PA (Troy Hill)
412-323-9504

"The collectioin started from his rescuing many reliquaries from Germany during the time of Bismark's "culture struggle"."

"The relics are contained in 800 cases with 525 accompanying documents. Many relics contained in one reliquary require only one document, or "authentic"."

Healer Joao de Deus, aka: "John of God"

2005-03-12T13:46:00.000-05:00

While I have received suggestions & recommendations for some really wonderful healers, (mostly Reiki healers & a few traditional doctors with a spiritual approach) the most advanced & profound healer that has been suggested to me is: Joao de Deus, also known as "John of God".

Joao does not actually claim to be a healer. He is a psychic-medium who channels approximately 37 primary healing spirits. Some patients are healed completely with one visit, others require
multiple visits.

However, everyone who comes to visit Joao is blessed by the spirits, by approximately 90 mediums who are meditating in the center to amplify the healing energies & by the powerful healing vortex created by a crystal bed situated below the healing clinic (known as The Casa de Dom Inacio - named after St. Ignatius Loyola, the founder of the Jesuits & the primary healing spirit of the Casa.)

No visitors are turned away & Joao does not charge for the healings, only for the herbs or crystals that are suggested by Spirit.

Everyone receives free bread & soup during their visit. The clinic is open on Tuesdays, Wednesdays & Thursdays.

Joao in entity (a phrase used to describe the unconscious trance he is in when healings are channeled through him) has healed approximately 15 million people in 45 years, including the famous, such as the son of the President of Peru & American dancer, actress & spiritual mentor, Shirley Mclaine.

There are several books written about him, one of the most well known being, The Miracle
Man, videos/DVS, & Joao has been featured on TV on primary networks & channels, including The Discovery Channel.

I have received a personal recommendation from someone who actually went to see Joao. She travelled all the way to Brazil from Germany & is extremely pleased with her results.

If you are thinking of traveling, keep in mind you will need to speak Portugese or hire a translator or guide service.

The research I have conducted indicates an average price of $1500 for a group trip, for 10 - 14 days, with meals, guides, translation, assistance at the Casa, & accomodations.

Average airfare from the US to Brazil appears to be $1000 - $1500.

There are numerous websites on the Internet, with personal inspirational healing stories, photos, & information about Joao.

I hope this information is beneficial to your &/or your loved ones during your/their time of need.

Cheers! Here's to our good health!

BombayJen

Goddess Laxshmi & Answered Prayers

2005-03-12T13:42:00.000-05:00

On Friday, March 4th, Paul & I were chatting as we drove along the highway to visit our friend, Romi. We had been talking about taking more photos of me & my daughter, Amber, for some modeling we were doing for Romi's Indian boutique.

Paul & I discussed how our current photographic equipment was lacking in the quality necessary for these photos & for the creative, artistic photographs Paul was interested in taking for personal & professional purposes.

He told me about a special digital Nikon camera with multiple abilities to serve our purposes & the compatibility with his current Nikon lenses.

Then Paul said, "I want $1200 to buy this camera."

I asked Paul, "Why are you telling me this, I don't have $1200."

Then he said, "I am just puttiing it out into the Universe. Swamiji says he can have Laxshmi dance in the forest anytime he needs money. Laxshmi, dance in the forest so I can have $1200 to buy this camera!"

I said, "Yea, me, too, Laxshmi! Dance in the forest, in my heart, in my apartment, in my wallet, I want some money, too!"

We giggled with excitement & how silly most people would imagine us to be... but we didn't care about them, we just wanted to focus on our requests.

"Wouldn't it be really cool if we got some money from this?"

"Yea, I believe, I believe!!"

OK, my friends, the proof is in the pudding, er, $$ money $$!!!

At the beginning of this past week, less than one week after Paul's request to Goddess Laxshmi for $1200, he received two unexpected checks in the mail...

One check was for $100, the other was for $1100!!! A grand total of $1200!!! Paul has ordered his camera & we are preparing for some new photo shoots!!

OK, Paul's request was fulfilled, so here goes mine, more specific this time (sometimes our prayers & requests are too vague, I just asked for money before, but never specified how much, maybe it was that penny I found, ya' know?)

Dearest Beloved Laxshmi,

Please dance in the forest!

Please dance in my heart, my home & my life.

Please grant me abundance & a wealth of health, happiness, love, positive opportunities & experiences, laughter, enlightenment, spiritual progression & finances.

Please give me $2500 so I can travel to Brazil to see Joao de Deus, the spiritual healer, so that
I may be healed without traditonal surgery.

Thank you!

OK, my friends! I will keep you posted on the measurable results of my request.

Please keep in mind that if this request is not in my best interest, or if the timing is not ideal, it will not be fulfilled. I will not view the lack of measurable results as failure, I will simply accept
it & continue on with my life, prayers & requests.

I shall continue to have faith in the power of my prayers & in the power of Goddess Laxshmi. And I shall continue to love Goddess Laxshmi for all the abundance she grants to others. Perhaps my desires & needs are not that great in comparison to others.

I truly believe I am blessed regardless.

Soulmates, Love & Astrology

2005-03-12T00:40:00.000-05:00

Someone recently asked me the following: "...you seem to know what dates your ideal partner would be born and even the year.. so my question is i know how i do my matches , but i would like to know how you came by to knwo so many dates for your ideal partner or soulmate" In answer to this question, I would like to say several things... First, my definition of "Soulmate" is this: someone we have shared at least one or more prior incarnations with on a close basis. This would include a lover, spouse, friend, relative, or colleague. My daughter is my Soulmate, my best friend, Paul, is my Soulmate & maybe even you are my Soulmate. When we think of Soulmate in these terms, we have many. And just because someone is our Soulmate doesn't mean we want to date them or be romantically involved (sorry Amber & Paul!) So, when I refer to a Soulmate that I would be compatible with in this lifetime on a romantic level, I generally refer to them as a "Romantic Soulmate". I have actually only dated one Romantic Soulmate in this lifetime, for 3 months in 2003, but we were not destined to be together in this lifetime. So, just because someone is a Romantic Soulmate, still doesn't guarantee anything, it is simply an indicator of a very strong connection from the past combined with a mutual attraction from the present. When we throw in Karma & unresolved issues from our earlier years or past lives & our free will, it's easy to understand there could be much confusion surrounding the Soulmate occurance. Sometimes just being aware that we have a Soul connection with someone can be quite profound. I have been in love with one of my Soulmates, but have never even met him in person. He is a New Age musician & his music made my Soul dance within. I knew there was a connection even before I saw his photo & it was confirmed by a psychic-medium. But he is involved with someone & I have a feeling that he may not be the most compatible Soulmate for me in this lifetime. It was hard getting over my desire for him, & at one time, I was ready to pack my bags & move across the US just to be closer to him (I'm glad I didn't.) When we choose to love someone, it's important to love with no conditions or expectations, this way, we don't get hurt, or at least the hurt is less painful, well, sometimes, the hurt is a part of the evolution process. Sometimes, it is unavoidable. But it's still important to love without possesion. If we truly love someone unconditionally, we want them to be happy with whoever makes them the happiest, right? It's important to realize that our hearts have the capacity to love infinitely, meaning, I can love every person in existence if I choose to, I don't have to love just one person, & I never will. We can love multiple people for a multitude of reasons & still be physically monogomous. As far as the question goes of how I determined the exact dates of my Soulmates, it is based on astrology. I have used various sources, books & websites to obtain the birthdates of my predicted Romantic Soulmates. Keep in mind, astrology is a form of divination & there are always exceptions to the rules, &/or alternate interpretations of horoscopes & the stars & their influences. To obtain even more information about my compatibility with someone, I go beyond astrology, to psychic-mediums (a psychic person who can also communicate with the spirit realms.) Ultimately, though, my heart is the strongest indicator of my Romantic Soulmate. And so far, I have yet to personally meet him in this incarnation... Dearest Beloved Kama, Ashtoreth, Astarte, Cupid, Eros, Ishtar & Venus, please reveal my most compatible Romantic Soulmate to me, very soon, beginning with my dreams tonight. Thank you! And I wish each & every one of my friends experience the love they desire & deserve in this lifetime!

Vaastu Shaastra, Movie Review

2005-03-06T23:21:00.000-05:00

A friend of mine recommended Ram Gopal Varma's, Vaastu Shaastra. So I watched it tonight. Now I wonder if he's really my friend....

Well, I like suspense thrillers & metaphysical movies with good endings & important messages... but this movie had neither!

I kept hoping, & thinking, "this has got to get better"... And actually, the movie had the makings of a good suspense... but it turned out to be an old fashioned horror flick with a lousy ending.

The similarities between "The Shining" & "Night of the Living Dead" vs. "Vaastu Shaastra" were clearly evident.

I've never been able to watch "The Shining" in it's entirety (nor do I plan to) & "NOTLD" was downright stupid, even though it amused me & my friends as teenagers.

So, I'd give it the BombayJen thumbs down, don't waste your time, money or brain cells on this one.

But, on the other hand, if you want someone to join you in bed afterwards, it might serve a single purpose. Case in point: my teenage daughter is too afraid to sleep in her own bed tonight.

I rest my case!

BombayJen

Bride & Prejudice Rocks!

2005-03-06T19:25:00.000-05:00

I finally found a local theatre playing B & P, so I went on Friday night... and LOVED it! I have no clue what all the bad press is about... it's a hilarious romantic comedy!

Granted, if someone has no clue about Indian culture or Bollywood, I can see how they might not agree, as they may not understand many of the situations presented. This movie is truly a fusion experience, on many levels.

And while I definately prefer Bollywood movies, primarily set in India, with dialog & songs in the native languages, it was nice not to have to read subtitles for once!

The songs were quite a departure from B-Wood's, as they were sung in English, the "Sound of Music" style. I suppose it's no more comedic than an English speaking white person trying to sing Hindi songs (cough, cough!) but I won't mention names here (tee hee.)

Yes, the movie specifies it was inspired by Jane Austen's "Pride & Prejudice", & perhaps some were disappointed by this movie as a lousy remake. But I can claim ignorance & bliss in this case, since I never read the book by J. Austen & I realize that something that is "inspired by" doesn't mean that it is an exact replica.

Bride & Prejudice Rocks, my friends! It's definately on my "To Own" list!

BombayJen

Fade Cream & Sun Screen

2005-03-06T15:21:00.000-05:00

I have been a pale face all my life, despite my (small percentage of) Native American blood. And ever since I was a child, I wanted to be tan. My Mom was tan, but she obviously inherited more Native American traits than I did. And she was a true sun worshipper, even laying in the backyard in her birthday suit, on one of those space age solar reflector sheets, to increase the amount of UV she received. I didn't have the patience to lay with her & I didn't like to get all hot & sweaty & stick to that weird feeling sheet, like lying on aluminum foil. I wondered if that's what it felt like to a chicken about to be cooked (of course, the chicken didn't know, but I still wondered nevertheless.)

Once I discovered being tan involved work, it didn't appeal to me as much. And if I was in it the sun for 10 minutes, I'd have pink cheeks, and eventually, my skin would be peeling. When I would go to the pool or the beach, I would let someone slather me up with sticky, icky sunscreen, which smells & feels horrible, especially with sand mixed into it. Then I'd go play in the water & promptly forget about thesun... until I was beet red & in sheer agony for days or weeks. So, I've danced a delicate balance between enjoying the sun, which does feel wonderful most of the time & avoiding it.

In middle school, I was teased & laughed at by my tan peers who had spent their summers sun worshipping at the local pool. Most white girls & women I knew wanted to be tan. I got the impression that being white was an indication that something was wrong, but I didn't know what it was. I just wanted to be accepted, not teased. But with blond hair, fair skin & dark brown eyes, I suppose I was viewed as a bit of an oddity. I, on the other hand, mostly spent my summers as my mother's packmule while she tried to locate buried treasure & Civil War artifacts. When I was lucky, I'd escape to the woods behind my house so she couldn't find me. Not very conducive for a tan, but then again, getting a tan was more work than fun, especially with the risk of getting burned.

In my freshman year of high school, I moved to California to live with my Big Sister, Penelope (we were matched by the BigBrothers/Big Sisters organization when I was in 2nd grade.) If I thought I was an oddity before moving to CA, then I became a Grade A Certified Freakazoid!Out of the thousands of students at Mira Costa High School, I was probably 1 out of 50 pale white chicks & I only knew one other than myself. Her name was Darlene, she had bright red hair & pale skin, a true carrot top. So we tried to help each other adjust our milky white complexions. After all, we noticed, it was the tan girls who were popular & had boyfriends.

So, we slathered ourselves from head to toe in self tanning creams, but they came out streaked & blotchy. Then Darlene looked like a full sized carrot, not just a carrot top. We slopped foundation on our faces, & at one point, I became so fixated on covering my butt-ugly pale face with makeup, that Iwouldn't let anyone see me without it. I was in bed with the flu once & thought I was such an ugly dog that I pulled the bed covers over my head when anyone but Penelope would visit me.

Foundation bothered my sensitive skin & was too much work, matching colors, washing it off, getting onto clothes, etc. So I decided to quit foundation & go for the natural look. One fine day during our Easter break, Darlene & I decided we would become tan & popular, even if it killed us. We decided to go to the beach, with no sunscreen at all, for an entire day, armed only with water & baby oil! Unfortunately, there were no adults around to talk either one of us out of it!

So, we baked ourselves into 2nd degree burns, from the tips of our noses to the ends of our toes. Memories of my childhood sunburns flooded my baked brains. What the heck was I thinking? My brains must have been fried before we even went to the beach! But it goesto show the extent that people will go to be accepted, to fit in, to not stand out, I suppose. The rest of our Spring break was spent in the shade, in our air conditioned bedrooms, with pounding heads & throbbing skin, in cold tea baths, being slathered in cold creams, moisturizing creams & peeling like snakes shedding their old skins.

I began to realize that fitting in simply was not worth pain & agony. I decided not to sacrifice myself to the Sun Gods any more. Since high school, I have chased the elusive tan off & on... but more sensibly, of course. With sun screen, or very limited exposure for short periods of time. But I still prefer tan skin to lily white skin.

When I began watching Indian movies, I began thinking how lucky Indian women are, to have natural tans. Maybe I could smear mehendi all over myself & get a nature-inspired tan, without looking like a carrot. So I walked into the local Indian groceries, only to discover that they sold fade cream... And then something happened...

I began to realize that Indians seem obsessed with fair skin. In the movies, in the personals, in the groceries, so many products, so many comments, pertain to wheat skin, fair skin, light skin... I began to notice my Indian friends liberally slopping sun screen onto themselves, year 'round, just to walk outside for short periods of time, even when the sun wasn't shining... And constantly wearing sunglasses.

What's with this obsession with pale skin? Could it be that the grass is greener on the other side? And then I started receiving compliments about my skin, how pretty & white, how nice & fair...Holy Moly! Was I in a time warp? Could this really be happening tome, Miss Pale face herself?!

Well, it's taken me 35 years of being fair skinned to finally begin to enjoy it. If I can learn to love being in my skin, so can you. But as for those few grey hairs, well, that's another story! It's a rare beautiful day in March today, it's no longer gray. I can see the Sun after months of her playing hide & seek. I'm going out for a windy walk in nature... now where is that sunscreen?

:) BombayJen"The (Proud) White Indian"

Motivation by Personal Satisfaction, Money or Fame

2005-03-04T13:28:00.000-05:00

Someone in an online group that I belong to posed this question: Q: Are people motivated to achieve by personal satisfaction, rather than by money or fame? Here's my brief response: Yes, there are people motivated to achieve by personal satisfaction, rather than by money or fame. I am & I have friends who are, and we're mostly a broke lot of artists, healers, writers, psychics, spiritual mentors, musicians, etc. Creative metaphysical types, if you will. I know the list doesn't stop here, just referencing my own personal experiences & relationships. I think the most inspiring people are those who want to achieve for the personal satisfaction of creating worldy good. Who are leaders not because they want to rule but because they want to free others; who want to share their creativity so it can dance in another's heart; who have visions & dreams they want to watch soar, to benefit humankind, even after they've left this world behind. But, we're living in a material world & I desire the comforts & luxeries that are available to me. Sure, money & fame can be wonderful, if not allowed to rule our existence. If it doesn't interfere with our happiness. Having mulah & connections doesn't make life worth living, it just makes it easier, for the most part, but there are always exceptions. Like they say, "Follow your heart & the money will follow..." "Follow the yellow brick road"... "There's no place like home..." What is money if we have a job we hate, that makes us tense & stressed, that reduces our ability to enjoy life? What is money if we aren't following our heart's desires? What is money if we have no love? Money can't buy happiness, love, or security. Look at all the wealthy people who are miserable, lonely, seeking deep connections & answers in their lives. Look at the people who lose their jobs, their homes, their lives, in an unexpected istant. Where is their security? It's all a state of mind, the peace within one's heart & Soul. Fame, I say, is merely a game. It's being known, it's a dance between privacy & publicity. Well, if I become famous one day, I want to be known for something wonderful I have done... not just because I have a smiling face or a rich uncle (but that would be nice, too!) What I don't desire with fame is a lack of privacy, or the inability to walk around naked in my own home. I wouldn't want my pc or my cell phone hacked, the aforementioned has happened in the past & it's definately a pain in the assssssss. Yes, there are people who are motivated by personal & wordly achievement, but there are even more who don't really care. It's those I worry about, because who is going to spend their money when they are no longer here?

Bride & Prejudice: Time Magazine

2005-02-28T13:26:00.000-05:00

The Feb. 14th issue of Time Magazine did an article on B&P, titled:

"Indian Bummer"

The writer, Richard Corliss, said the movie was:

"...less Bollywood than Follywood" & said about Aishwarya Rai,

"What she can't yet do is suggest a complex spirit behind the lovely facade."

Overall, I thought the review was terrible, written by someone who has no understanding of Bollywood, or even, perhaps, of the Indian culture & communities.

Perhaps this was Richard's first taste of Aishwarya's acting. Maybe if he was psychic, like my friends & I, he would be able to see that Aishwarya does, indeed, have a complex & highly spiritual Spirit.

This is one of the things that makes her so beautiful, her inner beauty is as beautiful as her outer beauty.

I could have written a better article. But first I have to see the movie!

BombayJen

BLACK: Movie Review

2005-02-27T14:05:00.000-05:00

I went to see BLACK yesterday.... WHAT a movie!! Not a typical Bollywood movie in many senses. Despite the lack of song & dance scenes, (usually my favorite!) I was still thoroughly enthralled. The beginning was a bit predictable since I am familiar with the Hellen Keller story, but the Indian theme still kept my interest. I think I began crying in the first 15 minutes of the movie, there were so many scenes that touched my heart, inspired my mind & whispered to my Soul, & I left with tears running down my cheeks. Just like the Bachchan family was reported after seeing the movie, my daughter, Amber, & my friend, Paul & I were speechless after the movie for some time. We needed time to decompress, to process the experience, the lessons, the realizations. Actually, the movie sort of left me emotionally drained, in a good way. It's a very thereaputic movie, actually. It evokes us to dig deeper, rise higher, to know oursevles better. To realize that however large our challenges are, there is always someone else who has a seemingly more difficult challenge that they are overcoming. You can't help but ponder the meaning of our existence, the gifts & talents we have that enable us to inspire the world, the challenges we face, our weakneses, disabilities, insecurities, fears & how to rise above them. It becomes clear that we are all searching for someone, something in our lives. Sometimes that someone or something is within us & sometimes it's within someone else who we are seeking, waiting for. Many times, we are able to accomplish 100 times more than we actually are, if we just collaborate with the right person, a Soul Mate to invoke our unrealized power within, to believe in us when everyone else has given up. Everyone's acting was absolutely superb... Rani & Amitabh were especially convincing in their roles. Neither projected any acting energy, they simply BECAME the characters. They stretched themselves far above & beyond any roles they've had before, and they flew like eagles, right into the hearts & Souls of everyone watching. And it became very clear that no matter who we are in life, or where we came from, or where we are going after this life, we all experience BLACK. So go see the movie if you haven't already, (or see it again if you have!) It's on my "To Own" list! I predict BLACK is going to be a CLASSIC! ................................................................................... Quotes from the movie discussion: AMBER: "Very emotionally moving" "Goes beyond Helen Keller's story" PAUL: "I wonder if advanced gurus, like Swamiji, see us as being blind & deaf & if so, what we can do to open up our vision & hearing to the higher spiritual levels." "Acting was flawless for every single character in the movie" "Showed that we can make quantum leaps in learning/realizations"

Tujhe Chand Chahiye

2005-02-23T00:34:00.000-05:00